dear god, save me from these massively threatening human inventions save me from my own self. save me from the state of mind that creates such unrest such unease and terror and loss of hope save me from the cloud of despair that covers my joy save me from the clouds why do i feel fake at every moment? why do i question and doubt myself every minute why am i rambling on and on, why do i ramble on here i am now and you can bestow the goodness if you dont i dont know where ill end up probably broken and paranoid somewhere in a dark corner a dark corner of my god damn fucked up mind save me from the shadow and lack of light save me from the questions save me from this yearning to be more than i am let me just be, please, let me just be for once let me figure it out if i am creating something that needs not be there let me figure it out for once or for the second time, but this time will you give me some kind of strength to hold on? let me hold on, oh dear lord for once can i just hold on let me die happy or let me die now let me die content or please just let it all end now let it end now or let me end now i changed my mind, i dont want to wait its not worth the wait. let me stop, god, this nonsense this idiocy that makes no sense this pit i create and deny that i do hope that i dont, deny that i do, question what i know question what i dont know questioning everything dear god how can somebody question everything? anyway, thats my prayer so please go ahead and take it out of my hands my small hands and my shrinking control just take it out of my hands and out of my head wont you? see, you dont even exist yet you are my last resort amen.