Would you stay with a girlfriend/boyfriend that has severe bipolar/anxiety problems? They are on medication, trying to find the right doses of everything. You are trying to get them to steadily see a counselor. Been hospitalized in the past. They are in their early twenties, they dropped out of college, they have severe anxiety about driving, they don't have a license, they don't believe they can hold a job. You love them very much and they love you. Your relationship is great in many ways, very caring, and supportive. No violent outbursts or abusive language just episodes of severe depression and anxiety. But it is so incredibly draining, emotional, and hopeless at the same time. They have too many problems for you to handle or help. You've tried to help in every way you can, but you feel like you are dragging them along and you can't carry them much longer. You recognize that their parents and friends want to put them and their problems off on you, for you to deal with. You are afraid that if you left, they might kill themselves because they are suicidal when they are depressed or fall into a bad relationship later where they were harmed. You care about them and want them to be happy. You just don't see a future together after your college graduation in a year, because they cannot function as a self-sufficient adult at this time. Love doesn't pay the rent or buy food, that's the cold, hard reality. Despite all of your attempts to get them to self-sufficiency and your perhaps naive belief that they could reach that point with help. You've tried to help them, attempted to teach them to drive and get their permit, driven them to psychiatrist appointments, bipolar support groups, and sporadic therapy appointments. You've been with them over a year. They haven't gotten a license or a job or gone back to school, you thought when you first realized their condition that they could have accomplished one of these things in a year. Deep down you realize that you want an equal partner, not a dependent. You feel like a horrible person because you fantasize about being free from them, even as you realize that you are madly, foolishly in love with them. You swing from being unable to imagine your life without them to being unable to imagine your future with them. You feel trapped, emotionally exhausted by the roller coaster ride. They have told you that you are the only thing in their lives just barely holding them together. You don't know how much longer your strength will hold out. I'm guessing aspects of this scenario are common in bipolar relationships. What do you do? Any thoughts from anyone, especially people in a relationship with a bipolar person, or people with bipolar disorder? Peace. :daisy:
Don't get sucked into a false sense of responsibility. If you choose to stay with this person fine but know that you will be tied up with more of this bullshit from this person. It's a shame that some people have these issues but if we allow people like this to drag us down with them, then we may have some issues ourselves... Cut it loose and let the difficulties of life either make this person get up and try or lay down and die of his/her own choice. It's not your job to take care of someone just because they are bipolar.
to me those are the key points, when I love anyone it is including all the broken parts (we all have some) - I would just not stick through abuse. so, yes even at a cost in my life. However I don't judge other people who decide different. You need to figure out if you are up to it.
