I'm going to be a father! I think he's going to come a little early though. i've never been a father before so im more than extremely nervous. miranda gets a lot of advice and support as the mother (as she should), but i kinda get left on the wayside. still, i cant wait! we've taken all the classes and read all the books, but i still dont think i'm prepared for what it means to be "DAD".
Congratulations Good luck, hope everything goes well. Do keep us posted. I love hearing about new babies.
Yea!! The best advice I can give you is help her as much as humanly possible. If she is nursing, get the baby for her, change diapers, RUB HER FEET, BACK, whatever. Do housework (if that was her thing before) And DON'T complain about not getting sex while she's healing. While she is in labor, don't ask what you can do TOO much, that gets irritating. Lower back rubs are nice while contractions are going on. Do whatever (within reason, of course) she asks. And don't take it personally if she yells at you. Are you going to the hospital or having your baby at home?
sugarmag i wish someone had given that advice to my old man!!! our baby is only 2 weeks old and already i am back to doing EVERYTHING! cooking, cleaning, diapers,feeding,laundry and the list goes on the other day i cought myself feeling bad asking for money to get some diaper cream!! because he works and i felt that he deserved the money more than i did. i don't know why i felt this way, as we have been living together for a couple years now and i never felt that way before? 2 days after she was born (at home) i was already up and straightening the house because i felt bad asking anyone else to do it@#$% i paid for that by being very sore and weak for the next week. i don't know why i have been so submissive lately ---but shane--don't wait for the old lady to have to ask you to do something---JUST DO IT!! don't ask if she wants you to clean up or make dinner. don't ask if you can take the babe for an hour(after being fed) so that she can rest. JUST DO THESE THINGS! she will love you to death for it. --sweetpeace
Ah man, I remember those days. A few words of advice. Sleep deprivation is going to become a fact of life for the next ooooh, at least year and a half....and no I'm not exaggerating. Accept it. Rather than looking at it as the kid keeping you up, think of it as quality time speant with your new little one. Keep lots of diapers on hand and don't be afraid/unwilling to change them. Some people say it should be 50/50, but I think it should be more like 90/10 for the first month or so. Your part being the 90. The mom should be able to feed the baby and rest as much as possible for awhile. She just went through 9 months of serious intensity and physical discomfort. Be willing to put your new childs needs before your own, things like food, clothing, medicine, creams, lotions, bottles, pacifiers. You're gonna be going through an ton of this stuff. Remember that your baby is only a baby. He or she may frustrate you beyond what you think you can handle with crying, waking you up at 12:00am, 3:00am, 4:00am, and 4:15 all in the same night but ya have to remind yourself that this is what babies do. That's about all I can think of for now.
Hey Shane, I just had a baby about a month ago, and I just want to tell you that you have nothing to worry about. My boyfriend and I were both scared shitless about becoming parents and weather or not we'd be good at it, but you know what? It's the most natural thing that you'll ever do. Instinct just takes over and shows you what to do. The important thing is that you have to know that for a while, your and your girlfriends relationship is gonna be a lot different, and you both have to be patient with eachother, because at times you are gonna get stressed, and sometimes it will be all too easy to take it out on each other. Just try not to. YOu'll do awesome. So good luck with everything and hopefully you'll girlfriend will go into labour soon. I was 2 weeks late and it was hell. CHeers
Congrats Shane. Here are some good books for you and your womyn to get and read. The Baby Book By William (MD) and Martha (RN, IBCLC) Sears. The Sears are parents of eight, all breastfed (inculding the adopted one) and all Attachement Parented. EVERY parent should have a copy of this book in their house. I have had four kids, and I have TWO copies.... Attachment Parenting Katie Allison Granju Fantasic primer on parenting with the child in mind! People have children to have children, this book helps you with putting the child FIRST and why this is always best for both the baby, and you and the baby's mama. EVERYONE is happier and healthier if the baby's needs are understood and taken care of. Katie will give plenty of research as to why actually being with and caring for babies is a neccesity. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League THE book on breastfeeding. No other is as complete or as helpful. A MUST for all new families. Anything from the La Leche League catalogue at all. www.lalecheleague.org Books to avoid like the plague On Becoming Babywise, by Gary Ezzo TOTALLY the WORST childcare book on the market. Infants have died, and many have been diagnosed failure to thrive on this man's Nazi like approach to "childcare." (It is more like "child uncare.") What to Expect the First Year Horribly outdated, and NOT at all evidence based "advice." None of the authors have any background in child development or lactation. Never takes the child's needs or feelings into account. Awful series. It amazes me that these are so popular. The Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg This womyn abandoned her own children to come to the US and be a nanny to rich Hollywood types. She has NO qualifications, no education and NO personal experience in childcare at all. In the Lactation Community we call this "Ezzo light." This womyn cares more for a mother's "right" to an eight our sleep than a newborn infant's RIGHT to eat! YUCK!
I have also found the book "10 Positions In Under 10 Minutes" to be very helpful as well under these blissful circumstances.
