2nd step

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by broony, Apr 24, 2007.

  1. broony

    broony Banned

    I meet a girl, she seems cool, we talk and all that stuff. Well i ask her if she wants to get some coffee (how original) haha. We go get coffee and have a converstation and i think we hit it off.

    My question is once that first step was made. What is the second? I can get a girl to go get something to drink, and talk like im interested. After that first drink though im lost. What should i do next to show her im still interested. Im terrible at this part, and im always lost.

    Any ideas or help would be great.
  2. Grim

    Grim Wandering Wonderer

    Jam your hand down her pants and then adopt a real wide-eyed, surprised expression. As if you're just as shocked at the situation as she is. Then measure her reaction.
  3. natural philosophy

    natural philosophy bitchass sexual chocolate

    ask her to go do something else with you. if she accepts, then pursue in a romantic way.
  4. natural philosophy

    natural philosophy bitchass sexual chocolate

    maybe call up and say 'i had a good time the other day, let's go see a movie' or sumn.
  5. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

    No, the OP is asking how does he initiate affectionate relations, I believe, not how he could get another date.

    Well, I learned as I went along, and the older I get, the bolder I get, and the quicker I can intuit "what is ok" and what is not.

    Certain women, depending on their personality, I'll act very casual around. But I've also hooked up with women without saying a single word, simply by grabbing them from behind (or saying something very sexually suggestive). lol

    Now, I think you need to guess from her personality how agressive you should be, first of all. Some of these nuts actually want to talk for months before you hold hands...

    And that leads me to my second point, you have to ask yourself what is ok FOR YOU. Do you like to date around for months on end? Do you wanna have sex the very first night? Do you want to just hold hands and take it from there?

    So, that's the second step after you've got wind of how comfortable with affection she is: decide how fast you want things to move and seek women who share that same pace.

    Thirdly, I say, after you've gone for coffee --- at least a little flirtation is in order (but I happen to be quite aggressive once a woman shows interest). Hold hands, a long kiss on the cheek, comments on her appearance, eye gazing, etc. are all common place. Also, generally shorten the amount of space between your bodies and faces (I tend to do that without thinking about it). There will be a point your eyes will lock, and if she doesn't look away, it may be a subconscious invitation to a kiss. Also, don't be afraid to LEAD the conversation there: meaning, "what kind of guy are you into?" or "do you find me attractive?", etc.

    If she's not comfortable with that, I know I wouldn't have any interest in her at all. But hey, it's your call.

    P.S. Also realize that women are socialized to be whimsical and picky to the point of dementia (and for all you know, the women who reject you may turn out to be those desperate affairs reaching menopause and still complaining about how men tie their shoes the wrong way or brush their teeth with the right hand insted of the left the way they like it), so any little itty-bitty slip is enough for them to drop you to the curb. So don't get discouraged if it happens. There is more fish in the sea and you should also be thinking of yourself and your own standards, rather than just catering to them.
  6. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    agreed, particularly with handholding... take a walk sometime, when youre walking beside her (assumign her hand isnt in her pocket), just take her hand with yours. its a good, nonintrusive/nonthreatening way to show that youre interested in a more romantic sense (well, for younguns in particular, im assuming youre (the op) under at least 30)
  7. broony

    broony Banned

    Good tips so far thx.

    yea im under 30 but i turn 21 in 7 months :D
  8. neponiatka

    neponiatka Senior Member

    have a walk together, getting to know each other better

    if she likes you (and she probly does if she's accepted your first invitation) then everything will do naturally

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