16 year old girls and women who once were

So I'm sixteen, and I have an amazing boyfriend. I find him especially fantastic because the four boys I've gone out with before didn't pretty much nothing for me... but this guy will have me slippery and dripping in a few minutes. anyway, I feel really reluctant to have sex with him though. Yeah I once let myself be sexually abused and such, but I've gotten over that and done all the forgiving I need to.
So girls, when you were/are my age, did you feel 'ready?' I'm also interested to hear from somewhat experienced guys (and no, that's not code for gabino, I'm interested in what the rest of you have to say as well) whether they find 16 year olds are generally more reluctant than girls a little older than that. I'm wondering whether I still have issues with the abuse thing.

 

If you are reluctant, then don't do it. There is no rush. Wait until you are ready. You'll know it when you're there.

 

yep just wait til you're ready... don't do it if you question it, you might end up regreting it...

 

I don't know if I should be hurt or flattered.

But i agree with the girls who have weighed in.

 

some girls are ready at 14, some arent ready at 20. everyones unique. me and my girlfriend started shortly after her 15th and she was the one who made the move!

 

Yeah, I would have to say if it doesnt feel right then wait. I think that there isnt a magic age.

 

okay. I know. I'll wait till I'm ready.
thanks for the advice everyone!
now back to my question; personal experiences please
oh and gabino, you should be a bit of both, I think.

 

haha... okay well i'll share my experiences... i was really scared of doing anything physical with a boy.. even french kissing until i was pretty old... i had my first kiss when i was 16 and well.. it was all downhill from there ... I ended up losing my virginity to my first real boyfriend about 3 or 4 months after we started going out.. i was 17, almost 18, at the time... i sometimes regretted it later.. we got engaged actually and then broke up and i dunno.. i had issues with having sex with him. (long story )


aaaanyway.... yeah... i was NOT ready at 16 to lose my virginity, but i know girls who were

 

i lsot my virginity when i was 14(im 16 now) to my best chick friend. she had been skiing and had fallen and scratched up her hand so i was over at her house wiht a movie and popcorn tryin to cheer her up. we had dated before so we were um comfortable with each other. i guess she was reallly horny or sumthing cuz she went down on me out of nowwhere and that got my engine revving so we went to her room and i lost my virginity. Ive had sex with 2 virgins since then both of them ir eally cared about(dated one for 6 months and the other for 9) and i took special care to make their first time special. there is no age u will be ready at.....and dont let the guy pressure u into it. one of the secrets we have(sorry guys!) is we'll pretend its ok if u say no. well jsut be like "oh its no biggie whenever ur ready is fine with me" to try and guilt trip into doing it. i dont regret losing my virginity so early because the chick was really special to me. when you find the right person you'll know and youll be ready.

 

i was 17 and had just broken up with someone a few days before and i got really really drunk and ended up being talked into going with this aquaintance to my friends spare room during a party while her parents were up in whistler. it was so awkward and clumsy. i got up and went home after but my friends saw me and word got out. my ex was really upset and the next weekend caught the guy doing the same shit to another drunk friend so he beat the fuck out of him.
i wasn't really ready but i think it was better the way i lost it because the guy was a jerk so i wasn't losing a friend. and it was done and gone so i felt relief.

 

hahaha

these sentences contradict each other a liiiittle

 

take your time... you havea lifetime to live and don't let anyone rush you. no matter what follow your heart and make sure whatever you do is what you want to do.

 

i watied till i was 16 to lose mine, and untill i found a guy i liked alot. It worked out pretty well i'd say. Do it when ever you're ready dude. You wont regret it.

 

The first time, I won't speak of, it sucked and the only reason I did it is cause I was horny. I don't even count it. I just turned 16 and it was a big let down, anyway, moving on.
Since then I haven't had sex at all. I've been in a serious relationship now for 5 months, we are absolutely nuts about eachtother. We are the couple everyone wants to be! So, since Valentines is coming up, we are considering giving ourselves to one another. We want everything to be perfect. I've gone and got on birth control and he's been tested for STD's. It's an absolutely beautiful thing for us. We are both very ready. He was with one person previously and so, he's a little more experienced than I am and he knows that, but he loves me and understands I'm not so sure about everything I do!
I suggest, if you ever consider having sex with someone, make sure it is safe. Get on birth control. That is my biggest advice to you. It makes everythign so much easier! It you must tell your parents, don't be afraid, they are more likely to understand than you would think. And they are more than likely going to agree since they will relize you are going to be mature.
Wait till you're ready and talk to him before. Let him know how you feel.

 

im reluctant as all hell. so many times have i gotten into bad situations in the past because i wasnt reluctant... im considering becomming a nun! lol

 

reluctance is a good thing. as a man i have to flirt with everygirl i see, to let them know that yes my parts do work and yes im interested. but i turn down more sex then i get. its not like im playin mind games, but i gotto to be sure theres a chance at a future with a woman, before i go and start tryin to get her preggers(or not get her preggers . . .)

 

I havent lost it yet, but im ready to. It doesnt even mean that much to me, so I dont care if i lose it as long as its to a guy that i like. Might even lose it this weekend. Probably not though.

 

I was 22, but I didn't have a serious relationship before that either so it just never came up rather than that I had a relationship and didn't feel ready to get to the actual sex part... I really don't know what I'd have done if I'd met someone sooner, sorry...

 

I totally agree with autumn. If your still questioning the effects of the abuse and all dont have sex. When you are ready and feel that what was done is done and now you can be sexually active without thinking of the abuse then and only then will you be ready. I know how it feel i was molested at 11 and raped at 15 and I regret ever having sex after I was raped I wasn't ready and for 3 1/2 years i had alot of issues I had to deal with when i had sex or any other sexual contact. All I am trying to say is cope with your problem and as soon as you are absolutely positive about being sexually active then that is when you know you are ready