Donate a carton of Gummi Bears to the American Diabetes Association. Fill up a Police Benevolence Association clothing drop-off box with vintage Nazi military uniforms. Start an emergency medicine clinic that that requests no compensation other than a nude photo of the patient's child. Set up a starving village in Zimbabwe with a lifetime of discounted cable TV access. Turn a four-star restaurant into a soup kitchen for the homeless, retaining both the quality of the food and the dress code. Initiate your own volunteer campaign to improve AARP membership rates by contacting insecure middle-aged women. Hand out free hot coffee to marathon runners. Give away free breast implant surgery to the woman most willing to publicly degrade herself. Send a complimentary Playboy subscription to the head office of the National Organization for Women for the lobby/waiting room. Donate a signed blank check to charity. Laugh at them when they fill in the amount, telling them that you would have given them much more.