I hate your life.
I have a friend who invites me over when he's with his girlfriend, but they're actually not exclusive anymore. They're to the point where we all...
I haven't had too many, but my girlfriend actually said "I'm not as think as you drunk I am" once. I got her a shirt that said that a few weeks...
I just come off that way to a lot of people. I was having a bad day one time, and I was talking to my friend in a big group of people. I said...
I am mostly a social smoker. Occasionally I'll have a cigarette just to relax too. What i'm talking about though, is people who force their...
I thought opium was what asia was all about?
Oh yeah, if you find one that feels nice, you can customize that thing a bunch and have a pretty good guitar in the end. My friend almost drove...
Yeah, I'm a guy. I figure with the amount of old fat dirty married men who come to me, eventually I'll get a girl or two, and they'll tell their...
It was a standard. I was about to put some new pickups in there, lol. Yeh Weedwhacker, I put that last bit in there for people like you, haha.
Man, the elk here get wild before a storm. They'll all stand in a line and look at the sky for about 5 minutes, then they all huddle together...
I can't believe nobody's suggested crack yet! Nah I'm kidding about the crack thing. Just snort some meth or something, crack is bad.
All right, girls, lets fuck the hell out of some old, dirty men! ;)
[IMG] I was changing the strings for a gig I had in 2 hours, and I picked it up by the head. I heard a nasty crack, and looked down only to see...
I don't mean people who just don't smoke or say it's bad, no. I'm talking about people who will go out of their way to make you seem like an...
I hardly ever smoke anymore, but when I do, I can get pretty paranoid. I always have to check for cops and my parents every minute or so, and I'm...
I sat down and thought about it for a while, and it sounds like a great job actually. Of course, I wouldn't be on the streets very often, I would...
I was wading around in the ocean last april, only going up to about my waist because I can barely swim. Well, my girlfriend kinda lured me out a...
Damn I hate that shit. My dad does it all the time and spits into a coke can or something and next thing I know, I accidentally took a sip of his...
You've probably eaten a few in your sleep by now... they crawl in there sometimes. Really, political comedy is probably going to be pretty dry...
Whoever you are, I can hug you. If someone talks, anyone can listen. There might not be anyone around but someone still wants to listen because...
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