The rectum and colon are very distensable. All the pain is at the anal sphincter if it is not well enough relaxed and if there is not enough...
The key to relaxation of the sphincter is to push out as if having a BM. That's how it relaxes to do its job.
My wife hates anal on herself, but gets very turned on by putting a butt plug in me, and I find it pretty hot. Just start with a finger gently...
It' fine, if you both like it. Enjoy.
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