I like the first one best. Strong linebreaks. Perhaps there should be a new stanza the second time you say "You wanted something..." Evocative.
I think this is a good first draft. Take some parts out and put others in so as to highlight out the main idea. Interesting words. Also, I really...
I think you are very lucky that you did not choke on all the spinich you were eating when you inhaled :P haha, I love the image you present here
Aw! You are nice. :)
I do like them. They are sweet little sugar cookies. I like them because they are morsels - all pretty concise in that you pick a topic and give...
I like these, too. Just be careful in "Mental Massage"... starting too many lines with the same word can get awkward. Actually, now that I read it...
Haha, you all are being so nice... thanks very much, you are quite generous... but could you please offer some constructive crit? Don't hold back,...
I like you.
meh, i think the only thing to fill that void is work, or productivity of some kind... working will lead to happiness, etc.. love the 1st two...
adorable
Lull It's the quiet of the ocean, in between waves - When the moon, in stripes, barely ripples; when shells' roaring yields to that blanket...
'It doesn't matter,' she said, as the words flooded her eyes. Hey, similarities! March 7th? You beat me to it, I guess... :)
To My Intelligent Friend It's not so much the spark in your eye as the twist in your lip when you smile and know what to say, and how to say it -...
Sake Beckon the brick men who've broken the pattern of wobegone wilderness, wicker and cloth. Wreckin' and trickin' will crack a neutrality;...
:) a pleasant image...
This is what I was talking about with that other kid's poem. This is a specific feeling, one that we all know - and you have conveyed it nicely,...
s'okay, you're the poetry guy :) I assumed you wanted crit, like everybody else here... my mistake _
this would be much more effective if it were shorter. this is a powerful feeling, one which we've all felt. you don't need to describe every...
Man that sucks the best I can tell ya is: Get active. Do something, anything that will keep you from sitting around alone. And I don't mean...
I'm one of those who say "like" I also say "man" and "cool" and "indubitably" What you say matters more than how you say it. It's not your...
Separate names with a comma.
