Revised: Like Drowning Teetering on the horizon, just past the point where waves crest and break, I'm unanchored and floating there- not...
thats funny, i had a lightswitch line in there at one point and i took it out, i thought it might be too obvious.... and sorry, i edited the buzz...
uhm...i dont really know what to do with this one. it needs some tension...or something. they're good details, but its only a list of details,...
thanks hawkins...did you read the final version of it? i've edited it like eight times since i've been sitting here! haha magma...reminds me of...
(untitled as of yet) its dark like no moon at midnight, burnt out lights, the crawl space under the basement stairs, and how long should i...
aww honey dont cry! this is frustrating for sure, but what can you do? write it out, i guess, and keep going...
nice image!
Hi kitten...nice to see you out and about! hope you're doing ok...i've been going through some pretty crazy and confusing times myself...
:) this poem is great. i can relate for sure... and the subtle psychology, how clever...
haha, wow...thank you!!! that's awesome, i'm glad you liked it! i dont usually write on subjects like love and lust for the simple and obvious...
oooh i like! i can so relate...especially now, going through some crazy times as i am, at night my mind just races, but it never gets me anywhere...
wow reading all these is going to take time! i'm working on it though... i like the phrase "sunset eyes," it evokes a romantic image for me...i...
:) your welcome...thank you for keeping an open mind and being willing to listen to the advice of others...keep up the good work!
im sorry i write for me...because i like the art...because it's a release... if you want experts or stuck pigs of imagery, look up sharon olds,...
i like this, it flows very well...good job breaking up stanzas and lines, the internal rhyme scheme is good
Hi ashley, welcome to the forums...there were parts of this poem i liked, the concept was good, it was a but too explanitory for me though, but...
Zenith like mother earth my core burns and there's magma in my veins and we entwine like earth and sky and you flow around my curves like rivers...
thank you :)
its nice to see something lighthearted...
i like these last two quite a bit...especially this last one. you've done a good job to keep them tight and focused
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