Bi men and aging

The hatred and the violence is just the nature of the beast; if you're not like us, you're against us - and you will be dealt with and usually violently because we just don't know how to behave any other way. That's why I learned how to fight growing up because some folks just needed someone to fuck with and if they saw you, well, you're it - until they learn that you're not the victim they thought you were and I had no problem doing serious damage to those who saw me as that kind of prey... because of the color of my skin and I wasn't exactly a big kid... but I knew how to street fight as well as a student of judo and karate so, yeah, if ya didn't know, you found out if you pushed me to fight.

Whupped one kid's ass because he felt that I was a faggot (and we didn't know each other) and he said that God told him to punish me for my sins and... got both of his arms broken and one kneecap dislocated for his trouble. I would never feel threatened and while I preferred not to fight, like I said, if you pushed me, then things could get potentially lethal. One problem was - and probably still is - that there are straight guys who feel that because they're straight, they're the superior man and gays - in particular - are lesser men and maybe not even men in their eyes... until they find out that they fucked with the wrong one or the police catch up with them and invite them to spend a lot of time in prison... or spend a lot of time on death row for a senseless murder of someone who did nothing to you.

You don't hear about the violence toward homosexuals like you used to; they have bisexuals believing that this same violence is a problem and, um, I don't see how that works if you can't look at someone and tell that they're bisexual - but this got dropped into our laps and a lot of bisexuals are acting like scared children about it and, well, hmm, if you never learned how to defend yourself, it might suck to be you - and guys these days have enough stranger danger that they don't have to worry about propositioning "the wrong guy" and wind up getting punched in the face - because they want Amazon to deliver the right dick to them hassle free. Even then, you don't hear of violence against bisexuals unless a bisexual got thrashed... by someone they know and they came out to them and a fight started - but never underestimate the power of supplied fear.

Once you start trying to have sex with girls, you get to understand the power they can wield over you because they know that they have something you want - and something that you'll do anything to get. One of the "perks" of being bisexual is that if I couldn't convince a girl to give me some, I lived in a neighborhood with twenty or more guys who'd be more than happy to have sex with me, so that control was lost on me and, besides, if one girl didn't want to, I knew the girls who would. A lot of women get stupid horny when they're on their period and, of course, most guys ain't trying to stick their dick in there while the river runs red but that's what soap and water is for - and you just increased your chances of getting that pussy again because you weren't scared like other guys were and, yeah, I've had them come on their period while fucking them and, okay, yuck, but they have no control over that and... soap and water.

That, however, isn't as bad or as freaky as what some girls/women would make guys do just for a possible chance of getting the pussy. Some women do know not to abuse pussy's power but others? What they find out is when they do abuse it and use it as a stick to beat a well-meaning man, he's likely to go in search of a sexual partner who isn't playing power games like that and that's usually another guy and... who knew that sex with a dude could be that good?

And I'm not surprised that a gay man finds pussy gross; it totally fits the myth that gay men hate women and pussy... but that's not the whole truth, is it?

 

These days, there is so much "PUB" out there (Pure Unadulterated Bullshit) coming from far too many different factions (including the LGBTQ community) where myths rule and the truth is too often distorted.

The trick is to just use your "feelers" and detect what is bullshit and what is truth.

And, to those "straight" guys who think that all gays fit every degrading stereotype in the book, I would love to see them watch a gay porn video, where the guys are all macho, hairy "bear" types, and straight-looking, straight-acting hunks......all sucking and fucking each other with no restraint.

Well, there's ANOTHER myth shot to hell(!!)

In ONE respect, bisexual men DO have a great advantage (this is only my opinion) over gay males, as, being they are most often with a wife or girlfriend, they are (at a glance) above reproach from a homophobe.

But, then again, married bisexuals are indeed at a disadvantage, by having to lead a "double life", especially if their spouses do not know of their husband's true sexuality.

Now THAT can get pretty damn ugly; even I know that...............

 

Look, if you're bi and around my age, if you don't know what the truth is, you have a really serious problem. I think guys need to stop watching gay porn because it can teach them some very bad habits as well as give one an incorrect perception of other men, like how my protege is a top and he sees all other men as bottoms - including me and I tear him a new one for making such an assumption and gets all weird when I tell him that if he fucks me - and there's no guarantee that he will - he can expect to get fucked in return because, um, I like to fuck, too.

Are bi guys above reproach from homophobes because we're with a woman? I would say, nope, we aren't because that assumes that said homophobe knows the difference between a homosexual man and a bisexual one and even if they do know the difference, it won't make a bit of difference to them because bi guys do have sex with guys. Where do you think that straight privilege bullshit came from? Or guys on here saying that they're straight-acting - and something that only gay men have had to do - but it got transferred to bi guys. I don't have to act like I'm straight because I am straight... until I do something gay like suck your dick. If I act like anything, I act like... myself.

And that double life thing is also a bunch of bullshit: You're only living one life and one with dual sexual interests - but telling your spouse that you know about dick like she does can be akin to committing suicide but as I've already said, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

 

I think one of the most valid (and important) statements you've made is "damned if you do, damed if you don't", regarding being honest with your wife about your bisexuality.

Literally, it is atkin to Russian Roulette.

One one hand, your wife can be totally understanding and 100% supporting of your needs.

Or, on the other hand, she can totally freak out and have one helluva meltown, which ANY bi married guy would wish to avoid at ALL costs.

Then, you have to wonder.......WOULD the wife be as upset with her husband if he were sleeping with other women, and NOT men?

Here again, yet again, it ALL hinges on how the wife would react if she knew her husband was also into guys.

Personally, I think if the husband harbors ANY doubts at revealing to his wife his bisexuality, it would seem prudent (and in the interests of preserving the marriage) to simply say nothing, and take it from there......................

 

Depends on the woman and what she believes the rules are regarding relationships but, generally, sleeping with anyone other than her is grounds for castration and the relationship is over. It's nothing like Russian Roulette because you don't have to wait for the hammer to fall on a shell in a one-in-six chance of not blowing your head off; you tell her you like dick before the relationship and off comes your head; you tell her after the relationship has gotten started, and off comes your head. Immediately. No waiting.

Now, if you want permission to pursue dick, the question is... what are you willing to give her in return for this permission? And if you're not willing to give her anything she wants, you will not get permission. That permission may or may not include sex with other women since that's not what you're asking her for - that's something entirely different. But since you stand a damned good chance of finding out that she's gonna react very badly, you remain silent and deny any and all allegations of wrongdoing. If you are almost literally dying to get some dick, cheating is your only recourse (and not pegging or otherwise playing with fake dicks) and if you cheat, don't get caught or arouse suspicions.

Makes Russian Roulette sound like a fun thing to do. Ditto for jumping out of a plane without a parachute. Or stepping in front of a speeding 18-wheeler.​

 

Well said; good points all across the board.

One cannot help but wonder why ANY kind of infedelity (on the part of the husband happens in the first place.

Husband found himself a hotter female, one who will spread at the drop of a hat? (unlike the wife)

Looking for "different strokes" beyond his own bedroom?

Or, in the case of a bisexual guy, simply looking for cock and/or "male tail"?

Or, just perpetually horny?

Now, on the wife's side, if she is the one who is cheating:

Is she tired of the husband's "vanilla" sexual prowess?

Not satisfied with the size of his shaft?

Fantasizing about other men?

Then, too, did either of trhem have a habit of ffrequently "sleeping around", before they met each other?

Could be any or all of the above, depending on the fellow and his wife........

 

People want to believe that women need a reason to cheat and if men don't, neither do women. If you dig deep enough, you can usually find out what the reason for cheating was from "it just happened" to problems at home, hubby not bringing the noise like he used to, being very attracted to another , to having a bad hair day or, worse, having reason to think/believe that hubby's cheating on her and she childishly thinks she "getting back" at him by cheating - and that's always a stupid reason to put a relationship at risk but it happens.

Maybe she was used to getting laid anytime she needed to and being married, eh, homey just can't keep up with her needs and telling him that he needs to really step up his game, more often than not, doesn't do a bit of good because a guy can only do the best he can/knows how to do. Some women think that being married is a joke and/or the rules of being married don't apply to her; married the guy because he could provide for her but he's barely getting enough pussy to keep him from getting suspicious that she's out there giving it up to pretty much anyone who asks for it.

Men are like that, too, so it's not like I'm excluding them. Maybe he's too vanilla for her; not being satisfied with the size of his dick is on the list of cheating reasons but if you fucked him before y'all got married, that means you knew he wasn't endowed enough so why marry him, right? Who said logic and common sense had anything to do with this? Classically, cheaters always have reason to believe that the grass is greener on the other side and, all too often, find out that it isn't and at the cost of a relationship that, on the whole, wasn't that bad but those in it didn't want to sit down and really have the "what can we do to rekindle the flame" conversation. Or she has a need... for the touch and taste of a woman. Despite what you might hear, not all husbands are cool with women ihaving sex with each other and a lot are seriously Old Testament and even thinking that he owns her and he's all she's ever going to need for the rest of her life - and that includes whatever dick/sex he's bringing to the table.

Which may not be bad but when you have this particular craving, all the dick in the world isn't going to take care of her need for pussy. And since she already knows that he's not going to give her permission to get some, she has the same two options that a man has in this same situation: Suffer with not being able to get what you need... or take matters into your own hands and get yours - just don't get caught or suspected because it could result in some very bad domestic violence headed her way.

Or you could separate or get a divorce but that might be the second "dumbest" mistake you made other than cheating and getting busted; most relationships are very good except for the sexual aspect - and the rules do not allow for any recourse other than get a divorce when the feeble attempts to remedy this fail and it's clear that outside help is mandated.

Women will tell you that they don't fantasize but they do and, yeah, about other men but such things aren't usually enough to get girlfriend to start walking on the wild side; a lot of women think about threesomes but that never means that they're going to rush to have one or instantly agree to it when her hubby suggests it.

In any event, just because she's the one about to do some cheating doesn't make this situation any less messy but there's a growing trend of non-ethical monogamy/polyamory that when done right, proves that you can have your cake and eat it, too...

 

Interesting, too, to note that, nowadays, couples living together without getting married are more than commonplace, often, quite the norm.

You wonder how many of these couples are in "open" relationships, where each is "playing around" with other people.

I am sure that there are many such non-married couples in "open" relationships where, if a bisexual "spouse" is having his "flings" with other men, it really ain't that big a deal, seeing as the relationship he is in is "open".

Do "open relationships" last longer than traditional marriage?

Are they less "restrictive"?

Recall, now, the old, old saying, "Why buy a cow when milk's so cheap?"

If the male in such a relationship is bisexual, his playing with guys can't be as much of an "explosion waiting to happen", with no legal bonds between the male and the female.

Just thinking...............

 

In order, couples are living together more than deciding to get married. How many are in open relationships? Who really knows but I'd guess not many of them since unmarried couples are held to the same standards as married couples. If a "spouse" is having a fling, it is a big deal and as he will soon find out. FYI, there are only seven states and the District of Columbia that still has and acknowledge common law marriages: DC, Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, and Texas. Since there was a time where common law marriages were allowed and recognized in many states, couples not legally married could be held to the same standards as being married - and it still applies even with common law marriages not being recognized by the major of the country.

Do open relationships last longer than traditional marriage? Depends on the people in them but if the average marriage lasts less than ten years, yeah, I've seen open relationships last for ten, twenty, and even thirty years. Are the less restrictive? Depends on the terms of the openness agreement; some can be quite restrictive while others are wide open.

Why buy the cow? Because it's good to own the cow and keep it to yourself so no one else can milk it - and bragging rights if you now own a really pretty cow. If someone else tries to milk your cow, lawyers can get involved.

As mentioned, since people in a relationship are held to the same standards as married people, homey can expect that explosion to happen if he gets outed or busted and she doesn't believe in what he got caught doing. He'll try to beg forgiveness and she just might "forgive" his transgression but, nah, not really; she's never going to forgive it, never going to forget it, and he's still going to pay for what he did because if it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander. Or, if she had any, ah, alternative ideas, she'll make him an offer he'd better not refuse since he already fucked up and got caught; if he refuses her offer, he can metaphorically kiss his junk goodbye - and say goodbye to the pussy because he'll never lay eyes on it again and he'd be better off proposing that they break up rather than to stay in a relationship with one of the most vindictive creatures on the planet.

Aging bi guys, take note if you're in a relationship - but your "cow" isn't giving up any more milk. You cheat and get busted, it could be your ass big time or... she might not give a fuck what you do as long as you keep doing your job... but unless you ask her, you won't know what you're facing and if you ask, wear a cup. See, some guys in a sexless relationship step to the side to get some dick (or pussy) and they think they're slick and their woman doesn't know... and she does know. Chances are she knew he was going to do it before he decided to cheat on her and a lot of guys find that just because she didn't say anything didn't mean she didn't know anything - and if he does it with a guy, it's not going to surprise her a whole lot.

Anything you say or do will be held and used against you - and you're going to be found guilty anyway, so you can plead the 5th all you want to. And, shit, yeah, if you cheated on her with a dude, why not cheat on you with a woman? Good for the goose, better for the gander since, as they say, only a woman knows what a woman needs... and it's not always dick.

Now, all of this messiness could be avoided if we invalidated monogamy and the other restrictive shit that defines being in a relationship but since that ain't likely to happen, couples are making up their own rules... or a lot of relationships are coming to a premature end.

 

EXCELLENT post.

You indeed seem to have "human nature" and "adult relationships" clutched tightly in your keen mind's grasp, and, without a doubt, are more than qualified (and experienced) to give advice to non-married couples, straight, bi, or whatever.............you've got your act straight, for certain!

 

Been there, done that, seen and heard it from other couples and especially the men who've come to me looking to find out what it's like to have sex with a man. I've sat and listened to a woman's side of the story, which can have mixed undertones from being cold and selfish to honestly not understanding that if her man needs dick, the thing to do is to let him go get it and then understand that it doesn't have anything to do with her... unless she's the reason why me and him have been sucking each other's dick.

There are men and women who just don't get it; you can explain it to them in the simplest terms and... they still don't get it because their heads are stuck in the way it's supposed to be and totally disregarding the reality that's in their fact and saying that the way it's supposed to be isn't the only way it can be. Now, we can try to benefit from this or... it was nice knowing you; have your lawyer call my lawyer. I've given advice to couples and individuals and a lot of it is... common sense but it gets past them because it never occurs to them that they can change the rules, that they can bend the rules, but not really break them - unless they need to be broken and tossed in the trash. But being non-monogamous sounds easier than it really is and, yeah, I could probably write a book on that subject alone.

I've gained all of this knowledge because I would run into situations that were "weird" or unusual and... I wanted to know why the situation existed; when my first wife demanded that we open our marriage, sure, I agreed to it but I also spent years "analyzing the data" that lead to (a) her cheating on me and (b) her giving me this ultimatum and the only logical choice I had: Sure, we can do this but what's good for the gander has to be good for the goose, too. And my own experiences on how to make this work each and every day and without fucking up anything else. Learning from other men and women who had figured it out - and being 100% sure that my bisexuality allowed me to see the possibilities - and the potential pitfalls - of taking the rules of being married and... bending them at some point, breaking them in others and because the alternative - throwing an otherwise good relationship away - just did not make any damned sense.

You live, you learn, you get your shit all squared away and you understand why shit happens the way it does and you learn what to do - or what not to do - when it does happen... and it's a lot of information to absorb and to make sense of. I tell guys who ask how they can get permission to get some dick from their wife that if they're not prepared or willing to give her anything she might ask for, don't even ask. If you do ask and she gives it, do not ever abuse it and always keep Rule Number One in this in mind: Always take care of home first. Failing to do that can get your permission rescinded and you might really experience hell on earth or, if you're lucky, she's gonna pull a Darth Vader on you and change the terms of the deal you made with her and if you don't agree to the new terms, it's gonna suck to be you.

It's not what people do; it's why they do them and sex, jeez, man, it wields so much power and to the extent that our morality seeks to diminish it - and, historically, we've already seen what can happen when sex is allowed to totally rule the roost and some of it isn't close to being pretty. When you get to understand why, a lot of things make sense and especially how our morality is designed to keep us from finding out the sexual possibilities... until we get our eyes opened to them.

The way it's supposed to be has nothing to do with the way it can be and the possibilities are nearly endless...

 

As I get older I definitely find my desire for men increasing. Even with porn I don't watch straight porn any more. There is always some sort of m2m sex. I love my wife dearly but the attraction to m2m sex has been getting stronger. Might be due to the fact that sex at home is getting fewer and farther apart. I didn't turn to men because of the lack at home. I was with men before I met my wife. As far as age of the guy..it really doesn't matter to me.

 

From what I've been reading on this board, yuo indeed have much company.

Especially, as the years go by, when sex with the wife is clearly on the wane, whatever attraction a married male has for other men only grows more and more intense.

Not only does m/m sex provide a hot and intense sexual release, it can also further serve to "bond" you emotionally with these fellows, and thus also forge strong friendships, which, I believe, are very important, especially with older men.

Keep on keepin' on, my friend.................

 

One cannot help but wonder about the bi married men who either:

1:Totally abstain from having sex with men, until the wife passes (or divorce takes place)

2: Only engage in mutual "jack" sessions (no bj or fucking)

3: Tells the wife straight out that he is NOT about to give up sex with his buds, and that if she REALLY loves him she will accept this, and also tell her this does not change his feelings for her (that is, if they are in a solid, loving relationship).....................................

 

I would say that with bisexual married men, it's all or nothing, with so many settling for nothing. Some do let their woman know that, yeah, this is part of who I am and I have to be who I am and, yep, if you love me, you'll let me be me because this doesn't have anything to do with you; I love you, I need you, I will always want you... but I need sex with men too. Whether it works for them or not is a whole different thing and some guys don't bother with making this heartfelt plea to her:

They just do it anyway. If the relationship goes down the toilet, then that's what happens. Some guys get that permission they need but their woman gets to control his actions, telling him what he can and cannot do or insisting on selecting the men he can be with. There is no half-assing this; it's either you are going to be what you need to be or you're going to be less than what you need to be and in a world where people pitch bitches about not settling for less, well, why would you? Why would I want to settle for merely having jack sessions with a guy when I want to take all of his dick down and work it so I can drink his cum? Why settle for jacking off and watching his cum get wasted when he could be pumping it into my ass?

You do the right thing by abstaining, by suppressing your true self so you can play by an ancient set of rules and for the love of a woman who didn't care about what this meant you, what not being able to do this would do to you in the long run. With bisexual married men, it's either all or nothing - there is no halfway point in this, not if you want to keep what little sanity you have left. There's #1 and some kind of #3 that includes infidelity - better to beg forgiveness.

Choose.

 

Very well said.

You ARE what you ARE, and there is NO changing that; I've heard about bi/gay men who, through (destructive) therapy/religious consuling (even MORE destructive) claim to be "cured" of their evil, deviant temptations to have sexual desires for other men.

That can REALLY screw up a guy's mind, for certain, as we all know...................

 

I've seen guys develop so much animosity toward their woman because whether she knows it or not, she's a roadblock in his way if it's sex with men that he also needs. A lot of guys who were in the pool before meeting their woman figure that they can handle not getting any dick and can survive on a strict diet of pussy... until they find out that they can't. Maybe it's not her fault but when you've gotten that taste of man-sex, no amount of pussy can put that fire out. I've seen guys become angry; I've seen them become morose and depressed because they know what they need... and they dare not try to get it lest they risk ending their relationship.

Even worse are those guys who weren't bi before he met her... but now he is. He can feel it, can almost taste cock and cum in his mouth, feel hard cock in his ass and... he's not going to be able to realize any of it and I often think that some of the guys who say that they don't want to cheat on their woman... can't figure out how they can cheat on her and get away with it so he's got this fucking with him and on top of a crazy urge that no matter what he does, it doesn't go away. I've seen guys go from loving their woman to hating the air she breathes because, again, whether she knows it or not, she's a major thorn in his side and it's keeping him from answering the call of cock and a call that he didn't want to hear - but he hears it, he wants it; he masturbates to getting and giving it; some guys are dick-deep in their woman's pussy and fantasizing that she's a man that he's fucking or if she's blowing him, she's not a she but the guy of his dreams sucking his dick - and then, reality reasserts itself and he loves her... and he can't fucking stand her at the same time because he is 99.99% certain that if he tells her about this, she's going to shit a gold brick, have a cow, and a litter of kittens while 100 metric tons of shit hits the fan.

There is no fucking cure for having a desire for sex with men... other than having sex with men. You still can't pray it away; aversion therapy might stop a guy from craving dick - but fuck something else about him up and badly so. You can't beat someone over the head with a bible when there's a world full of gay and bisexual men who are having sex with men and like there's nothing wrong with it - and, oh, yeah, that's right, there is nothing really wrong with it. I used to read about those poor homosexual men who got taken to be cured of their homosexuality and they wound up taking their life and enough of these poor souls did this that it should have been very fucking clear that you cannot cure something that's not wrong with a guy. Bi guys wind up going to counseling - and usually because their woman insists upon it - and... it's a waste of time and money because all therapy does is remind him of the way it's supposed to be and trying to make him forget that the way it's supposed to be isn't the only way when, right down to the very core of him, he knows that what he wants and needs is real - and here's someone who probably isn't even bisexual trying to tell him not to be bisexual.

And if she made him go, well, she might not be his favorite person any longer. I've seen guys become a mere shell of the man I once knew, from being alive and vibrant to, well, maybe just waiting to lie down and die because he cannot be the man he knows he has to be.

 

Over the course of a number of years, I've read the accounts of too many horror stories where young gay/bisexual men (teens/early 20s) commit suicide because of not only WHO they are, but, also, cruel and intense pressure to "change" by therapists and clergymen......."pray away the gay"........what fucking BULLSHIT!!!!

Talk about MISGUIDED!

And, think of the bi/gay males in their teens, who KNOW their parents would disown them and throw them out of the house if they found out, or who cannot even trust a school councilor or therapist, let along a clergyman.

How many more young, promising lives must be so cruelly snuffed out, because of the ignorance of bigots of a fucked-up society?

Damn sad as hell........

 

I know what's being said about teens, sexuality, gender identification, and depression and suicide and I wonder how much of it is truth and how much of it is scare tactics to put down the explosive emergence of a whole lot of people who do not want to be heterosexual. See, I remember growing up in a time where homosexual teens were really getting the shitty end of the stick, from being disowned to being tossed out of their home to survive on their own and, yeah, suicides because of this and those stupid attempts to cure them of something that doesn't need curing. Once bisexuality was declared to be real (what a fucking joke), now "all of a sudden" we're hearing about bisexual teens being fucked over and committing suicide but, locally, such a thing would get a lot of media attention and there hasn't been any news of any teenaged bisexuals committing suicide - and then, if a poor soul did decide to end their life, there's a rush to blame bisexuality for this - and not the social, religious, and moral pressures to be heterosexual first and foremost - and if there were any other factors involved in a teen's suicide, well, they're not being talked about.

What I know is that the shit I heard growing up against and about homosexuals is being repeated for bisexuals and, as such, I do wonder how much of it is true and how much is anti-sexuality propaganda.

Okay, did I worry about my parents finding out that I was bisexual? I did and had nightmares of being beaten, disowned, and tossed out into the street to fend for myself and when I did get caught having sex with a boy, all I got was a very stern lecture and told to use my hand when I get the urge to have sex - and I still believe to this day that my mother knew and just didn't say anything and, perhaps, hoping that I'd just give it up on my own and when I didn't, she picked her moment to intercede and, welp, that was embarrassing... and it changed nothing. At that time, teen homosexuals were getting a bad break, like being forced into therapy, forced into attending all manner of church services, so on and so forth and, at that point in time and locally, there were a few teen suicides that had homosexuality as the root cause - but parents were not being accused or charged with any kind of child abuse charges for allowing their child to take his or her life.

It was true that some homosexual teens took their lives because of the shit they were getting from their parents to being bullied and vilified in peer groups - and parents not doing enough to protect their homosexual child from those who would do them harm - and, yeah, it didn't get any sadder than to read about a teen suicide... but how much of it was really true and how many of those real suicides had anything to do with the deceased's sexuality? It's like how there are bisexuals today feel like they're being discriminated against and hated on by family and friends when... no one else knows that they're bisexual and I mean from teens to grown-assed adults and I'm still trying to figure out how you can be fucked with about being bi... if no one knows that you are. And all because it's being put out there that bisexuals are being persecuted, suffering from mental illnesses, all that horrible shit that, again, I heard being said about homosexuals so, again, how much of it is truth and how much of it is propaganda designed to scare bisexuals back into being heterosexual?

No one - bi or gay - in my teen peer group took their own life; only one gay dude I knew got sent to be cured and, funny, he came back saying that he was cured but the truth was that he wasn't - he just told them what they wanted to hear and the cut him loose and he was out to get all the dick he could in order to make up for lost time. We all "feared" being outed or, worse, being outed as being gay, and feared reprisals from family and friends and it had occurred to me - and a lot of others - that if no one knows that we're bi, they can't fuck with us about it and, yeah, what you suspect is one thing and what you can prove something else - and I categorically deny any knowledge of the events you're talking about and you clearly have me confused with someone else.

Indeed, a lot of us went into the closet - and a metaphorical closet that was created by homosexuals so they could have a place to hide their sexuality from a society that would do them harm and... how many closeted bisexuals do you hear about today? Way too many and they're not being forced into hiding - they're doing that to themselves and out of the fear of everyone they know finding out and, um, fuck, how are they going to find out when you're not of a mind to tell anyone about your sexuality? Even though my teen peer group wasn't of a mind to let our sexuality be known, um, we were still very damned bisexual and in every way that means and the watch phrase continued to be, "I won't tell if you won't." It wasn't like this was strictly held to because some guys would tell, not out of a sense of being malicious but because what they just experienced was so fucking amazing that they just had to tell someone... and found out that they shouldn't have said a word - and just like all the homosexuals who were coming out and having their heads handed to them were learning.

At the worst, teens in my peer group who came out to others caught a whole container ship load of verbal admonishment and other bullshit and told to cease and desist - or else... and like they really did that; all it did was make bisexuals go deeper underground and, historically, that's what a lot of bisexuals over time and history wound up doing which I believe led to people believing that (1) bisexuality wasn't real and (2) if it was, one would have to be out of their mind to want both men and women! I know it used to gall me to be on the butt end of such jokes even when they weren't being directed at me - but they were talking about folks who were like me but that was fine because if nothing else, we could find comfort with each other because if no one else cared to believe in or understand us, we believed and understood each other and what it meant to be bisexual.

And learning to ignore the dumb shit; otherwise, your sanity could really be at risk if you kept paying attention to it.

 

EXCELLENT "thesis"; well-written, well-versed, and QUITE on the mark.

Another important factor that should be considered (and not ignored; especially when regarding bisexual/gay teens) is being FAR too influenced by all the crap on social media.

I've heard much on the news about online bullying, harassment, etc, where gay/bi teens indeed can be in the path of destructive forces (IMHO, too many kids spend FAR too much time on "social media", as do too many adults) who hear a lot of crazy bullshit, rhetoric, etc., that simply has little or no foundation in truth whatsoever.

Here again.....HOW do these kids (or even adults, for that matter) KNOW what the TRUTH is, and what is solid TRUTH?

Here again, both "gut feelings" and simple common sense are indeed major-league players........