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Forum Description: Discuss open relationships, free love, problems in love, etc.
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Old 09-15-2011, 04:24 AM   #1
Luvsitall
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Wife regets losing virginity so young
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Hey all. Im hoping for some answers or advice. My partner told me she lost her virginity at 14 to a 28 year old guy. When she first told me i reacted badly and she told me she was drunk and went home with him and he raped her. She said she just went to his house to kiss him even though they had been kissing at the place they were. She eventually said it was consensual but it hurt her and asked him to stop. He didnt so she said she started hitting him but he still didnt stop. Time has passed and i have learnt to deal with it. I have spoken to her step dad about it and he said it was more he broke her heart. I asked her again about it and the story has changed. She new what was going to happen and yes it hurt and she wanted him to stop. I asked did u make it clear u didnt like it and she said i think so. I asked what his response was and she said he ignored her until he had cum. Im not fully sure he understood how much she didnt enjoy it. He was not gentle at all knoeing it was her first time and he was quite large. As soon as he finished he left and rang his mates to brag. I feel she has Changed the story a bit more because she hated it and felt humiliated. I have said to her she needs to forgive herslef as she has done nothing wrong. She refuses to stop hating herself for it and i feel our sex life will not improve until she does. I am hoping someone can help me understand this more and shed some light as she hates to talk about it
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Old 09-15-2011, 09:05 AM   #2
 MikeE
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Some blunt advice from someone whose been in a similar situation.

You can't fix it. You don't have the skills or capabilities.
There are professionals who have the skills and capabilities.
If your wife doesn't want to see them, she won't.
If it isn't fixed, you'll have to learn how to love and live with the woman she is rather than the woman she could/should have been.

(note "if it isn't fixed", not "if she isn't fixed". She isn't broken.)
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Old 09-15-2011, 09:10 AM   #3
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Here We Go Again..........



Cheers Glen.
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Old 09-15-2011, 10:33 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luvsitall View Post
I have spoken to her step dad about it [....] I asked her again about it [....] I asked did u make it clear [....] I asked what his response was [....]
You're prying. If you pry enough you'll eventually break something.

She doesn't have to justify her actions.
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Old 09-15-2011, 02:45 PM   #5
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Maybe the reason she feels so ashamed is by your reaction? Just a thought.
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Old 09-15-2011, 03:11 PM   #6
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kids make mistakes. it's part of growing up. what's the point in being upset about it?
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Old 09-15-2011, 03:23 PM   #7
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she should see a professional. someone neutral who can help her
but if she doesnt want to go, well. you cant help the unwilling
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:39 PM   #8
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Oh, a teenage girl acting like a teenage girl, and then becoming a woman, and spinning a web of lies and bullshit to make herself feel better, like a woman can be expected to.

In the OP's mind, too, no less.

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Originally Posted by GLENGLEN View Post
Here We Go Again..........



Cheers Glen.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:27 PM   #9
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good advice mistress After 20 years mariage wife admitted being molested as a young girl and sex was never the same after that.
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Old 07-25-2012, 12:40 AM   #10
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Reread MikeE's post. And again...and again....
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