Guess I'm psychotic....

I'm not going to go into great detail of why I've been labelled nuts but there is only three people I care about and to stop their whining I've decided to do regular therapy or something like that not sure what woman calls herself. It's been a few months now and she tells me I have moderate psychosis. Then I told her I've barely bought into any of her talk and left. My ever so nosey parents got me to spit out why I've quit and are begging me to go back.

Now I admit that I'm rarely happy and been fairly self destructive. It's just events of my crappy past haunts me on a regular basis and I'm left bitter and wanting revenge so badly. BUt there is nothing anyone could ever say that will convince that a long life is preferable and just to let things rest and be forgotten about. Thats pretty much what my mental doctor or whatever said... "Just move on from these events". If I could just forget like that I'd never went to see her anyways. My parents are what keep me together but I feel like they'd be better off without me around.

I like what I've become anyhow, I don't let myself get pushed around anymore like in my past, I've fought back at others rudeness and even acts of violence coming out feeling victorious it gave me a sense of self dignity. And I don't feel the need to become something so special and worry about were I'm going to be in the next forty years and not have that everyday stress of not letting down a relationship and/or kids down. Anyways back to the point my loved ones want me to go back very badly but I feel like it's comforming to something stupid and pointless. I never thought that therapist had anything useful to say and is always trying to get me on some medical perscription. I just don't trust the drugs that they give.

But I'm just so fed up with it all that at times I feel like just giving in. Have anybody here actually felt like theraphy and similar stuff has helped them? I'm more curious to see how many people think it's all bs too.

Psychiatric medicine is in its infancy. It's important to remember that while doctors are generally doing the best they can, they're currently working with limited resources. Progress is being made, and some disorders have much better treatments available now, but many are still misunderstood and misdiagnosed, and sometimes a wrong diagnosis and incorrect treatment can do more harm than good. However, it is wise to see a medical professional rather than just leaving it. It's up to you to do your bit, too, in terms of research and self help.

In terms of advice, it's difficult to provide any without knowing your supposed diagnosis or your specific problems. I can tell you that I have switched from ignoring my mental health issues to actually facing them, accepting them and healing them in the right ways, from speaking to professionals to meditation and exercise, and the difference is enormous.

I have a feeling that if you really didn't give a shit about getting better, you wouldn't have posted here. Mental illness can become habit, even a comfortable one, but it can't be permanent. You're most probably not "nuts". You sound rational. You can choose which path you go down.

I've been to therapists - lots of them. But never on my own initiative - only because other people wanted me to. I did it to see if it would be useful in any way. What I found out is that it was mostly BS. I figured out that the person who was most convinced I needed therapy was the person who most needed it herself. And finally some people in authority were gong to block her career path unless she went to a therapist, so she was kinda forced to do so.

The most useful thing a therapist ever did for me was when the person in question (my wife) got me to see her personal therapist, cuz she wanted me to be told in no uncertain terms that I was delusional. So I went with her to her therapist, and the therapist questioned me and challenged me intensively for a long time. Finally the therapist said to my wife, "I don't think he's delusional."

I can see in retrospect how therapists COULD have helped me, if they had been good at what they did. But none of them did. I learned to cope with my feelings and relationships mostly by myself, using creativity and the strength that came from being treated badly and finding my own self-esteem by realizing that I didn't deserve to be treated that way.

Maybe if I had hunted around I could have found a therapist who really knew how to help. But that's a major pain in the butt. If therapists like that exist, they must be pretty hard to find.

I even came to see my therapists' treatment of me at times to be part of the abuse I had to learn to cope with. Could it be that they did that on purpose to give me learning experiences? Could be, I suppose.

But this is just my personal experience and opinion. Maybe it's different for other people. And I agree with Fingermouse that it would be easier to provide thoughts and advice if we knew what it is about you that people think is psychotic.

However Fingermouse, I'm not sure why you're concerned about the op's violence - I didn't see anything in what the op said that indicated violent tendencies.

My mistake, I misread the OP. Thanks Zen. My post has been edited.

I have Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder, and unless I take the medication, I cannot function at all due to the intensity of my psychosis: paranoia, delusions, auditory hallucinations, delerium.

I hated taking meds for years, but when I realized that I would spend the remainder of my life (provided i didn't kill myself) incapacitated, not having any friends or job, I just took the meds. I don't like it, but it's my choice, and it helps me function a lot better. There are many improvements to be made, but I am not going to wait until they perfect it. However, unless you are like me, and really have psychosis, therapy should be sufficient.

Keep in mind that sometimes it is all about finding the right therapist. The Psychologist I see now has helped me more than the other 3 or 4 I saw previously. I'd suggest asking your GP for a referral to a different therapist - just tell him/her that you don't think you're really getting anything from the person you're seeing now, but would be willing to continue therapy if it was with someone else.

Each therapist will have a different approach to helping you, and you just need to work at it until you find the one that works for you.