So ecstacy has never really been something of interest to me, took a few street rolls. first one was nasty, dirty feeling but okay i suppose. the next two were kinda week. my friend got a bunch of top notch rolls though so i gave it a try. Holy shit they're excellent. overwhelming for a while, but in the best way.
anyway, this inspired me to buy some molly. I think it was kinda weak molly. It was in shards and kinda brown. smelled like a combo of perfume and piss. i was scared it was meth or some shit. i had my friend J snort a .1 line of it to make sure it was indeed molly. We got the verification that it was her. so my girl and i ate .1. then two more friends popped into the room. my girls best friend L and one of my many best friends H. so i decided to dose them up too. my girl and i ate .1 or so more
we're waiting around for a while and start watching a movie. i just couldn't take it. i did not feel like watching some stinkin movie. so we went out to my car, picked up some drinks and candy, loaded some dro up and cruised to tunes for quite a while.
I decided i shouldn't be driving, i'd rather just go nuts to my music, so i let my girl take the driver seat. i was having a very psychedelic experience. my bottom jaw kept sticking out and i was speaking from my heart. that i need to let go of my fears and worries. i need to embrace the love that's around me and stop hiding from it. i need to do the things i need to do when i need to do them while remaining worry free. i was saying fuck the me that worries about little shit, fuck the me that tries to find the answers to my questions on hipforums. fuck the me that doesn't find his own truth through personal experience.
i texted my mom and asked her if her and my dad worry about me a lot (2010 was a rough year for us.) My mom said that she more so has concerns but not really worries because she knows i have a good head on my shoulders. I told her why i like shrooms and the likes, they bring me to the god that's within all of us. she told me not to drive in those states and if i ever need picked up she will at anytime from anywhere - no judgments.
the night continued on, at the point it was just me and my girl. i thought of my friend M, he's not someone i hangout with too much but him and i have a sort of connection that we don't speak of. but i know we're both aware. him and i had recently been talking about how we notice more synchronicities since tripping. i decided to text him "i believe i've awakened my spirit" - he replied, "when the fuck are we gonna kick it? and your spirit is always in a state of awakening, but welcome to the next level."
Five minutes later, a pretty lights song came on and it said "WELCOME TO THE NEXT LEVEL!" It just made me laugh, it was a surprise but it just made sense that it happened.
so M invited us over, they were all dosed out and coming down from dmt. we sat around and smoked a couple j's, then i was starting to feel sort of nuts. i was zoning out really hard. started getting some crazy thoughts, crashing too. So my girl and i went home, fucked but not cum
and went to sleep.
Since this night my confidence in myself has increased about fifty percent, i've had this nice long lasting afterglow, and i'm definitely in a better position i was in before taking this molly.