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Forum Description: Discuss Nudism, Naturism, going barefoot. No porno, please!
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:25 PM   #1
mugface
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Father Daughter and Nudity
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I don't know if this is the correct forum but I thought people here might understand. I have one daughter who is my pride and joy. The only time I ever see her naked is when I help her wash her hair. It's very long and thick and she doesn't always do the best job of getting it clean. My wife usually does it for her, but on occasion she's unable to so my wife has asked me to help. My daughter even asks some times if I could wash it instead of her mom.

The problem is now that she's 13, has been having her period for a year, and now my wife thinks it's not appropriate for me to see our daughter naked. One one hand I get it. Our daughter has pubic hair, breast, and is turning out to be a very attractive young lady. I've asked her ( daughter) if she was embarrassed for me to see her naked since she was getting older, and she said it wasn't a big deal. She doesn't seem the least bit shy about me seeing her naked and will just stand there and talk casually to me even with nothing on.

Personally I'm the same way and our daughter has even walked into our bathroom a couple of times to get something when I was showering. I never thought much of it and she didn't mention it either. It's not like either of us walk around the house naked. We're just naked when it's necessary and it just so happens that someone else in the family sees you in that state. No big deal right? Basically neither of us have issues with nudity, but my wife does.

Part of me agrees with my wife, but the other part is jealous. I just feel jealous at times that she might have a bond with her mother that I'm being forced out of. I don't know how to breech this issue with my wife without blowing this up to WWIII proportions.

My wife doesn't have an issue with either of us being naked around each other as husband and wife. It's the father daughter thing that creeps her out I guess. I don't think she had a super close relationship with her father. Last week she said something that really upset me. Our daughter asked me to wash her hair for her. Nothing unusual. When my wife got home she asked me if our daughter took a shower before bed. I said, "No she took a bath I washed her hair for her". The wife said she didn't like me doing this, especially when I was home alone with our daughter. ???

That hurts. I feel like I'm being accused of molesting her. I've never touched her (the daughter) anywhere except for her head when she was naked and I've even had talks with her about other people (including her parents) touching her in an area that her swimsuit covers. I just don't get where the sudden mis-trust comes from. My wife has no concept or understanding of the depth or passion I have in protecting our daughter's innocence. She would have to be a father to understand.

So last week I was a responsible parent, and now I'm a suspected under-age sex offender. That's what it feels like.

I don't expect to win this one, and will probably just let it go, but it just sort of makes me sad. I don't want my daughter to feel she has to distance herself from me just because she's developing physically. And don't read into this that I don't appreciate my wife. She's wonderful. I just think she's being over protective a bit much.

So I guess I better not mention that when I try to kiss my daughter on the cheek before I leave for work, she turns her head sometimes so I kiss her lips. I'd be moved off to a separate house or something.

I plan on just laying low and riding this out, but any advise from anyone who has been there would be helpful. Maybe I'm wrong and I shouldn't see her naked at her age. All I really care about is the smiles, closeness, and openness that we currently have. Any fathers, mothers, or daughters with any advice on this subject?
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Old 10-15-2008, 12:10 AM   #2
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I feel very sad for you. You share such a special connection with your daughter. No matter what others' opinions may be, I believe you should cherish that connection, and try to hold onto it. It's very unfortunate that your wife might be suspecting you. Perhaps you should try to explain how you feel, if you haven't already.

The part that hit me hardest, was when you said that you felt a bit of jealousy, like the Father-Daughter bond was being taken from you. Do not let it go!

From an unbiased POV, I can see why your wife wouldn't want you seeing your daughter naked. However, it really sounds to me as if nothing sexual is going on, and it's purely casual, in which case, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Then again, you'd have to define 'wrong' for yourself. Other people are going to find disgust just because you're naked around your daughter, and the two of you don't mind. Being misunderstood really sucks

I don't have much advice, other than to keep holding onto your bond with your daughter. Sounds like you two have a really great relationship

You really don't so so many fathers as connected to their daughters as you sound. Almost as if people think that a Mother-Daughter connection is more important the one with the Father, and vice versa for boys... Sad, in my opinion.
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Old 10-15-2008, 12:14 AM   #3
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Why cant the kid wash her own hair at age 13?
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Old 10-15-2008, 12:17 AM   #4
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If you're asking what you should do, I suggest talking to your wife about it. However, as a mother of three, seeing your children unclothed shouldn't be a problem. When my daughter was around that age, she was comfortable unclothed in front of my husband and me. Seeing your daughter naked at that age isn't wrong unless she's uncomfortable with it, which apparently she isn't. So as long as she's comfortable being unclothed in your presence, I don't see why it's wrong to help her.
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Old 10-15-2008, 01:28 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by verseau_miracle View Post
Why cant the kid wash her own hair at age 13?
It boils down to choice and choice alone. If she wants to, she can do it herself. Apparently, she wants her dad to do it, and doesn't mind. It doesn't matter what age she is, it's still her choice how she wants it done.
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Old 10-15-2008, 01:44 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by verseau_miracle View Post
Why cant the kid wash her own hair at age 13?
She does most of the time, but usually once or twice a week she wants to take a bath in her mom's (over-sized) tub. It is harder for her to wash her own hair there, plus I think she's a little spoiled. For me I guess it's just one more thing I'm holding onto from her being a little girl. I'm sure that soon she'll eventually just want to always do it herself, but I'm not going to be the one pushing her away.

Thanks for your opinion everyone. This probably will be forgotten in a few years. Everyone is a first-time parent once. Now's my turn. I'm just trying to do the right thing. I was just reading elsewhere how fathers could give their daughter a negative image of their body if they distanced themselves from them as they matured. Like..."O no. You have boobs so I can't hug you anymore." I don't want that to happen.

Nudity has been an issue before this event. I like sleeping naked, but my wife thinks it's weird. It's such a shame too cause my wife is quite a fox.
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Old 10-15-2008, 01:45 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Blade_Rain View Post
It boils down to choice and choice alone. If she wants to, she can do it herself. Apparently, she wants her dad to do it, and doesn't mind. It doesn't matter what age she is, it's still her choice how she wants it done.

Thanx for the lesson. I just read his post as "she has some difficulty" and I was wondering why at that age, thats all. It may be relevant. I personally dont take issue with 2 naked family members of whatever age or gender being together, I just thought it unusual the kid didnt wash her own hair at 13, thats all
You cant blame the mother and whoever else of having some reservations. Its a sensitive age and, well, we all know what societys like these days
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Old 10-15-2008, 01:47 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mugface View Post
She does most of the time, but usually once or twice a week she wants to take a bath in her mom's (over-sized) tub. It is harder for her to wash her own hair there, plus I think she's a little spoiled. For me I guess it's just one more thing I'm holding onto from her being a little girl. I'm sure that soon she'll eventually just want to always do it herself, but I'm not going to be the one pushing her away.

Thanks for your opinion everyone. This probably will be forgotten in a few years. Everyone is a first-time parent once. Now's my turn. I'm just trying to do the right thing. I was just reading elsewhere how fathers could give their daughter a negative image of their body if they distanced themselves from them as they matured. Like..."O no. You have boobs so I can't hug you anymore." I don't want that to happen.

Nudity has been an issue before this event. I like sleeping naked, but my wife thinks it's weird. It's such a shame too cause my wife is quite a fox.
Ah this explains it Thanx. I can understand that. My mum used to wash my hair as a kid and we kept on until I was a few years younger than your daughter too
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Old 10-15-2008, 02:10 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by verseau_miracle View Post
Thanx for the lesson. I just read his post as "she has some difficulty" and I was wondering why at that age, thats all. It may be relevant. I personally dont take issue with 2 naked family members of whatever age or gender being together, I just thought it unusual the kid didnt wash her own hair at 13, thats all
You cant blame the mother and whoever else of having some reservations. Its a sensitive age and, well, we all know what societys like these days

I don't mean any offense by this, but when I read that first line, I instantly marked the whole think as sarcastic without even reading it first. Lord, I need to get out of that bad habit lol.

And btw, I think the problem with society is acceptance and tolerance. Personally, accepting and tolerating everyone and everything (not everything, you know what I mean ) sounds a bit far-fetched to me, but it would eliminate some problems. Crap, I don't even know what I'm saying just talkin'.
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Old 10-15-2008, 02:12 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blade_Rain View Post
I don't mean any offense by this, but when I read that first line, I instantly marked the whole think as sarcastic without even reading it first. Lord, I need to get out of that bad habit lol.

And btw, I think the problem with society is acceptance and tolerance. Personally, accepting and tolerating everyone and everything sounds a bit far-fetched to me, but it would eliminate some problems. Crap, I don't even know what I'm saying just talkin'.
Yeah you need to get out of the habit. Im not best at phrasing things at 2.15am, which is the time here right now
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