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Old 05-19-2008, 08:45 PM   #1
Scubasteve1659
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How To Get My Wife To Be More Kinky?
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My wife and I have been together for several years, while of sex life has been fantastic at time and other times not so good. I have many wild and crazy fantasies that I would like to do with my wife but she is way too conservative and usually shuts me down, how do I get her to be more open? i think once she opens herself up she will be a nymph.
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Old 05-19-2008, 09:10 PM   #2
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Be ever so patient. How long you been together? It'l come around. gently probe here and there. Never be pushy and develop lots of sexual trust. Most of all patience.
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Old 05-20-2008, 01:05 AM   #3
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Have you discussed it with her... and not while you are in the sex mode with her... she will think hey maybe I am not good enough... have a few drinks research stuff on the web with her and see her reactions to it...
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Old 05-20-2008, 05:46 AM   #4
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Hey! I had the same problem with my husband! I actually left him alone for awhile, after talking about it, I let him know that I was ready when he was. I think giving him space and the initiative, because I usually am the one to initiate, made him feel more in control? And since then, things have greatly improved.

Not sure what your wife's personality is in the bedroom. Despite my husband being very confident and outspoken, in the bedroom he is very passive. Telling him to it is ok to not be a 'gentleman' in the bedroom has given him freedom to express his desires. Perhaps your wife thinks you won't respect her if she gets wild in the bedroom, or she is just shy. Try and lead the way gently, by buying her very classy but revealing lingerie and asking her to model it while you sit in the middle of the room. Buy some toys and ask her if you can watch her try them out. Compliment her and tell her how much she turns you on. Be verbal but not pushy.

I hope whatever you do works, because I can empathise as to how frustrating it can feel.
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Old 05-20-2008, 02:05 PM   #5
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Reply to Angelina31

Just to give you a clue on my wife personality in the bedroom, she has NEVER EVER masturbated, so I know that she has never explored any sort of sexual pleasures. We have talked about it many times (not in the moment) and she is appauled by masturbation. I have sent hundreds on sex toys and everytime we attempt to use them, its a complete disaster, it is very frustrating, and she gets pissed when I have no interest sometimes in sex.
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Old 05-21-2008, 01:27 AM   #6
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Wow. Never masturbated? Poor girl! How about seeing a sex therapist? Your wife sounds very repressed. I am not trying to insult your wife, I just feel for both of you if your sex life is unsatisfying.
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Old 05-21-2008, 03:54 PM   #7
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I changed my S/N....so I'm pretty much doomed aren't I???? We have talked about masturbation, and she is completely disgusted by her own vagina.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:29 AM   #8
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You are only 24? She is of similar age I presume? Is she just very shy to admit to you that she is sexual, enjoys doing things? Was she taught to be ashamed as a child? I hope nothing has happened to her. I would just gently persist, tell her her vagina is beautiful, that you want to do things to it, ask her if she will let you show her what you like doing to it. I am sorry, I am sure you have tried all these things, I don't mean to be suggesting the obvious.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:35 AM   #9
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Sometimes people just arent sexually orientated. Some people enjoy reading, some people enjoy sports, some enjoy sex.....kinky sex.

You should know your partner and know that she perhaps doesnt want anything kinky like that and even mentioning it could change so much and make her uncomfortable.

I dont really know what you should do, but speaking on my own behalf, i'd just not bother bringing it up, then again i dont believe in girlfriends or wives as such..... so i can just pick n choose, but even then i dont like to sleep around just for the sake of sleeping around.

All in all, im not a great help, but just respect that she might infact NOT want anything kinky like that, its not that shes scared to show it, she just simply might not like that.
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Old 05-22-2008, 01:24 AM   #10
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Good point yumyum, and if she isn't in to stuff like that, period, then you can't push it on her.
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