Girl with experience

**Butters** · 10-12-2006, 01:10 AM

So, this is going to sound like a real stupid concern...and its not really a concern, just...I don't know, something I've thought about. I am 100% in love with my girlfriend. I mean, she has my heart completely. And she has said the same to me as well. And, well, this is the first time that I've ever been with someone who's experienced. I mean, all of my previous girlfriends were very prude, and had strict standards. But now, I'm with someone who is fully experienced, and I guess my "concern" is that it just feels a little...weird for me. I mean, I in no way, shape, or form want to be without her, she is the one I want to be with, its just that I'm not used to this at all. We haven't done much of anything yet, beyond the usual making out, because its a distance thing (2 hours) so we don't exactly get to see each other everyday. I'm going to see her this entire weekend though. I guess it sounds really dumb and childish to say. I mean, I'm 20 years old, its not like I can't handle anything. Its just that, its different for me. ESPECIALLY because I've still never had sex before. So it just feels a little odd for me. And to be honest, she confuses me with her boundries to. Like I really have no idea what I'm allowed to do and whatnot. Her main concern is that the guy she was with, for a long while, before me was a real asshole, and basically just wanted sex a lot, and that was it. And I don't know how to get her out of that mindset, because that is NOT me at all. She "knows" I wouldn't do that, but its still in the back of her mind. She's worried that I would never want to just kiss her anymore if stuff happened. But yet, at the same time, she's now told me that "I have no boundries", so, especially for this weekend, haha, I'm extremely confused. Okay, enough rambling...just seeing if anyone had anything to say to all of this. Thanks

**soaringeagle** · 10-12-2006, 01:14 AM

umm yea..use a condom

relax & enjoy..but use a condom..lol
dunno what else to say

**paintitblack** · 10-12-2006, 01:19 AM

ou... that's so sweet

nothing to worry about,
don't push it just go with it

**Butters** · 10-12-2006, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paintitblack

ou... that's so sweet

nothing to worry about,
don't push it just go with it

Yea I know, I'm a very naive 20 year old...hahaha. I mean, is this a valid concern, or am I just being really dumb?

**ledzeppelinlover** · 10-12-2006, 01:27 AM

well just do it with her, no pressure though. but afterwards or in the morning or whatever, kiss her to reassure her that that is not all you wanted.

**ihmurria** · 10-12-2006, 02:10 AM

She wants you to go for it, but check along the way that she's sure ("you sure you want me to?/What do you want me to do?").

And she wants you to still have makeout sessions with her that don't lead to sex. That's a big frustration I have, when all kissing beyond a peck must lead to sex, it's something a lot of guys (I said a lot, not all, calm down) seem to pull, especially around our age.

She basically wants you, badly, but is afraid that once you get a taste of sex it's all you'll want, that you'll turn out like that other asshole, even if the chances of that are minute.

**Butters** · 10-12-2006, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ihmurria

She wants you to go for it, but check along the way that she's sure ("you sure you want me to?/What do you want me to do?").

And she wants you to still have makeout sessions with her that don't lead to sex. That's a big frustration I have, when all kissing beyond a peck must lead to sex, it's something a lot of guys (I said a lot, not all, calm down) seem to pull, especially around our age.

She basically wants you, badly, but is afraid that once you get a taste of sex it's all you'll want, that you'll turn out like that other asshole, even if the chances of that are minute.

Well see, this is where I'm unsure....because she actually, sorry I left this out, said "you have no boundries....except for sex..." And I'm pretty sure that she said that, exactly because of that fear of hers, like you said. She is afraid that makeout sessions will ALWAYS turn into sex, and once I get a taste for it, thats all she'll want. So I guess, I'm still unsure on excatly what I'm allowed to do...I mean, I guess my point here is, I'm so in love with her, and I told myself I would "Wait" until it was someone I was truly in love with, and now I am. I don;t know...I'm just confused on exactly what she means.

**ihmurria** · 10-12-2006, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Butters

Well see, this is where I'm unsure....because she actually, sorry I left this out, said "you have no boundries....except for sex..." And I'm pretty sure that she said that, exactly because of that fear of hers, like you said. She is afraid that makeout sessions will ALWAYS turn into sex, and once I get a taste for it, thats all she'll want. So I guess, I'm still unsure on excatly what I'm allowed to do...I mean, I guess my point here is, I'm so in love with her, and I told myself I would "Wait" until it was someone I was truly in love with, and now I am. I don;t know...I'm just confused on exactly what she means.

Ah, well.

Hmm.

Take off her shirt and bra, and your shirt, and see how that works out for you guys. Not immediately of course, but in the midst of making out. Toplessness is awesome. And try grinding if ya'll haven't been doing much of that, me and most of my galpals freakin love grinding, it's all sexual without being actual sex.

**Butters** · 10-12-2006, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ihmurria

Ah, well.

Hmm.

Take off her shirt and bra, and your shirt, and see how that works out for you guys. Not immediately of course, but in the midst of making out. Toplessness is awesome. And try grinding if ya'll haven't been doing much of that, me and most of my galpals freakin love grinding, it's all sexual without being actual sex.

oooo, good advice...haha. Like I said, you'll have to excuse me, I'm REALLY naive. lol I mean, I've done things, but I don't know how to take things with her. Any more advice? haha

**ihmurria** · 10-12-2006, 03:14 AM

Listen to the sounds she makes and her breathing when it comes to any sort of stimulation. Don't be afraid to ask her what she likes, or ask her to take your hands and use them on her how she likes being stimulated (I wish guys would do this more often, I feel awkward grabbing their hands being all "no, harder, like -this-, like you're massaging not like your squeezing".... every chick likes different kinds of touch remember.

Don't be afraid to pull her onto your lap (esp to make her straddle you), that can be a fun position if ya'll arent' doing it regularly. Considering moving to a bed to makeout if you can, promise no sex but a bed gives you more roll-around-and-play room than most couches do.