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Forum Description: Discuss orgasms and how to find them
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Old 04-06-2006, 05:23 PM   #1
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I can't orgasm from sex -- only masturbation
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Hey guys, I'm new to the forum -- and new to sex. Sex meaning any kind of touching, oral, penetration, you name it.. I just started. Don't ask, I'm a late bloomer. There, that was the easiest way for me to say it. I'm 19 and had sex for the first time with my boyfriend a few months ago. Since this new discovery, I get turned on really easily and want to have sex every time I'm with him, which I'm sure he doesn't mind, but the thing is, I'm not having an orgasm during sex. I get close, but no cigar. I've never had an orgasm from him. Even though he gets me hot and I get these twinges of "Oooo that felt good", I don't orgasm. Yes, I know that these things take time and exploring and I have no problem asking him to do certain things in bed. But what bothers me is that I know exactly how to get myself off when masturbating -- pretty quickly too -- and I can have multiple orgasms. I wish I could get off the same way during sex. However, I don't think it's possible because the way I masturbate is completely different from sex. DO NOT LAUGH, but here goes the explanation...

I lie in bed, flat on my stomach, head turned to the side. I take a section of my comforter and bunch it up (I guess about the size of two fists) and situate it under my pelvic bone. So my weight is resting on the bunched-up section of the blanket. I keep both my hands underneath so I can keep the blanket in place. My legs are closed. Then I move my hips all around and up and down and making circles, humping it. It's all clit stimulation. No fingering whatsoever. I can control the pressure at certain moments by pushing down my tush and I also squeeze my legs together. The rest is history haha.

Soooo, what do you think? And does anyone else do this?

I think I only get off when the pressure is slow and dispersed -- not just vigorous finger-on-clit rubbing. I've tried using my whole hand or the heel of my palm, but it doesn't work. It seems that I have to be on my stomach, and I can't figure out why. This is really weird, so I'm a little uncomfortable explaining it. And if he wanted me to demonstrate, that'd be even weirder.

Do you think it would work if I was on my stomach and he was behind/on top of me. And instead of the blanket, his hand? He really wants me to have an orgasm and so do I. Don't get me wrong, I like penetration, but nothing will happen if it's just that alone.

Thanks ladies and dudes!
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Old 04-06-2006, 07:39 PM   #2
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I wouldnt worry about it.. alot of women dont have a penetrative orgasm.. I hardly ever do...and never if I'm on top.. but you might find that you need to be in that position and him or you stimulating your clit...or you could try a vibrator on your clit during penetration... I find that helps for me.. anyways... play safe and have fun.. hope that helps!
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Old 04-06-2006, 10:20 PM   #3
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I have done that! With both the duvet and pillows! I had my first orgasm from humping my blanket!
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Old 04-07-2006, 10:27 PM   #4
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wow i thought i was the only one...dont worry i have the same problem, you just need to show your man were you like the pressure and im sure he will find plenty of ways to get pressure on it it worked for me and i know it will work for you also time.
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Old 04-07-2006, 10:56 PM   #5
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Hmmm im a guy , and i find this amusing also the explanation above kinda turned me on.

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Old 04-07-2006, 11:25 PM   #6
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I think that you should find some time by yourself in the bathroom, and play with your vagina, just to get to know your genitals and how it works. Then try and find your most sensitive spot, and pleasure it.

You should by then now where your sensitive area is, get your boyfriend to maybe help you stimulate it whilst having sex.
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Old 04-08-2006, 04:06 AM   #7
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I do it too. It must be very common. IT definately feels good being on the stomach, and making love from behind while stimulating that pleasure pressure point area.
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Old 04-08-2006, 07:47 PM   #8
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Hey SomeGirl630,

I think the key ingredient missing here is fore-play especially where the female sexual response is involved. Sex should not be rushed into, you two need to focus on building the mood. Fore-play can take place over an intimate meal or while watching a DVD even if only conversationally.

Firstly - when you are in bed together, spend at least an hour or more kissing and caressing each other's erogenous zones, exploring each other thoroughly leaving the genitals to last. I love to lick / kiss / caress a woman's nipples, neck (including back of neck), ears, ear lobes, inner thighs and navel region. Teasing can be very erotic and the key thing is to allow you to relax and build to a very high state of arousal because you then are very receptive to multiple orgasms.

Secondly - following this, you should encourage your BF to go down on you (make sure he's not prone to cold sores / fever blisters though lol) spending at least 20 minutes on gentle wide licking motions around the inner labia with alternate thrusts of his tongue inside your pussy. After this he should move upwards toward your clit licking in and around your clitoral hood with random swirling motions alternating between pointed and wide licking motions depending on your preference. When your vaginal juices are flowing sufficiently, he should gently insert 2 or 3 fingers into your pussy to stimulate your 'G' spot and upper vaginal wall with a gentle beckoning motion while at the same time licking your clitoris as discussed above. If you feel the need to pee but know that your bladder is empty, just relax and let the 'G' spot orgasm build to ejaculation because this is an especially powerful orgasm and your BF will be turned on even more by this - so don't feel embarrassed or self conscious about it.

If your BF masters this technique, you should be in a high state of arousal and multiple orgasms will occur before intercourse - furthermore sex will be very rewarding for both of you because you will stay in a very high state of arousal for an hour or more. I have known women to orgasm quite freely during sex after getting in the mood through effective foreplay.

Take care, I hope it all works out for you!
And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the make....
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Old 04-11-2006, 05:05 AM   #9
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Old 04-11-2006, 05:13 AM   #10
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I'm always humping my blanket.Sometimes I'm late for work cos I'm humping my blanket.When I split up with my ex - she was yelling all kinds of evil shit at me - but I just grinned,closed my eyes,stuck out my tongue,concentrated hard,and carried on humping my blanket.
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