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Well, it's funny really, my aunt lost her SIM card during one of her 'experimental' stages, if you know what I mean. Anyway, as she now couldn't use her phone, she asked if she could borrow mine as she was expecting a very important call on that particular day. Well how could I refuse?
Anyway, events rather overtook the situation as I will now try to explain. The important incoming call she was anticipating was from none other than Mr Augustus Dampwrymplle her attorney of Dampwrymplle, Dampwrymplle, Dampwrymplle and Gussett (Attorneys at Law, no case too large or small, if the price is right - established 2007)!!
On the fateful day of the call she was suddenly overcome with an irresistible urge to hit the meat, bash the bishop, polish the rocket or in her case, cuddle the clit, lavish the labia, finger the fountain so she stuck my phone up her cunt for safe keeping as she did not want to miss the important call. Anyway in doing this she accidently activated the loudspeaker button on the phone! Well, just as she was reaching an incredible climax the phone rang and Mr Augustus Dampwrymplle inquired as to her health to which she naturally replied 'Fantastic', he replied 'Well, I don't want to stop what you are doing, but I have good news, your uncle Slivvervitch Von Chycken Mc Nugget has died and left you $1 in his will, what say ye?'
She replied ' Sorry, I couldn't quite catch that, me old cobber, my phone is somewhat muffled as it is presently secreted in a highly unusual location...so to speak'.
Mr Dampwyrmplle mumbled (obviously talking to his secretary) 'What a wanker'.
My aunt took this to be the ultimate compliment, so she told me that as fate had decreed that she only gets good news when she wanks with a phone up her cunt that she would always employ this marvel of telephonic gadgetry to enhance her orgasmic horizon from here and henceforth for ever!
I have to add, however, that she is a dimwitted old cow.