Preparing Trip Report for I.V. Ketamine, MxE, and MDMA Shards

Originally Posted by HomeGrownIdeas

I'm not trolling or seeking any help, everyone I try talking with about I.V.ing any of these substances seems to think I need help, however, it makes me happy.

That's the problem. That's what is devastating about addiction. That self-destruction makes you happy. The root is ultimately emotional, I'm convinced of it.

Please don't involve automobiles with your drug use in any way . . . that is just deplorable.

Originally Posted by Mr.Writer

That's the problem. That's what is devastating about addiction. That self-destruction makes you happy. The root is ultimately emotional, I'm convinced of it.

Wow, I think that's way way off. Most addicts will say they use to feel 'normal' or use as an escape but I don't think the majority of addicts are happy in self destruction, it's just a way to cope. No way rehab, NA, AA and all the recovery programs would exist if most addicts were happy being addicts.

I think the problem is some mix of spiritual, physical, genetic, rootlessness (related to spiritual), THE DRUGS, and so on. But regardless of anyone's notions about etiology, it's a life or death situation for you HGI. If you don't change you're a goner. That's just the way it is.

Wishing you well.

Life or death for me? It's always been life or death with me. In the last 2 years I've overdosed 3 times, always brought back. I've vaped enough dmt to feel comfortable with death. Ketamine+dmt=enlightenment. Death is nothing to fear, though I am not trying to be childish/foolish in my amounts I use. On another topic, I don't know how I'm going to be able to write a good trip report on I.V. MxE because every time I i.v. 100-200mg I only remember the first 30 seconds. Then I black out according to others around me and just lay on the ground for 3-5 hours depending on the dose. I usually don't even remember having done any and find it hard to believe my friends when they tell me stuff like 'we found you laying in the bathroom with blood on your arm and a broken needle laying by you, we tried to get you up but you wouldn't respond to us so we had to carry you to the bedroom and lay you on the bed' or my girlfriend saying 'you shot up and I [she] drove us to the river to walk around, you kept falling and ended up just laying on the ground, you hadn't put your belt back on and your shorts fell and I couldn't lift you to get them back on and then when you would try to stand you kept falling, causing your hand to get a deep cut, your hip to get a nice scratch and your left arm cut'. Both of those situations, I literally have NO MEMORY of, at all..I don't think these people in my life would lie to me, though they all want me to stop using, they just don't realize it feels nothing at all like it looks. Oh yeah I forgot to add, I'll have some tiletamine in less then a week, can't wait to do this one again..

Man, when it gets to the point where you cant write a trip report because you dont remember I think you need to cool it. I dont write many reports because I dont have the proper words to describe it any way, but i do remember them. All of them. Unless I take like a ton of benzos or something.


Completely dropping out of CONSCIOUSNESS is a problem dude, there is no enlightenment in nullness. I feel like you are trying to get as far away from your self as you can. How is it fun to completely fuck yourself up to the point of not being aware? Whats the point man? Thats what I would really like to know.

.

Originally Posted by HomeGrownIdeas

I am not trying to be childish/foolish in my amounts I use.

I.V. MxE 100-200mg

I only remember the first 30 seconds. Then I black out according to others around me and just lay on the ground for 3-5 hours depending on the dose.

So when do you start putting 2 and 2 together?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

This is terrible, appalling, and an insult to responsible psychedelic drug user's everywhere.

You need help.

This is what contributes to the hysteria surrounding drug use; irresponsible idiot's like yourself.

Originally Posted by Mr.Writer

That's the problem. That's what is devastating about addiction. That self-destruction makes you happy. The root is ultimately emotional, I'm convinced of it.

Please don't involve automobiles with your drug use in any way . . . that is just deplorable.

Writer are you saying you are not a drug addict?

Do you remember anything from these blackout experiences? I just can't imagine how you could get enjoyment from something that you don't remember. That's why I can't understand benzo use, because it just creates a black hole of nothingness in your life when you try to look back on it. You should consider getting help if only because there seem to be people who really care about you and would be very hurt to see you kill yourself. If I had a friend IV enough of a drug to black out for five hours in my presence I would politely ask them to stay out of my life until they can get themselves together because I don't need the added stress in my life of potentially having to watch someone die in front of me. Even watching someone lose consciousness like that for five hours would be a traumatic experience for me.

You're right to say that death is nothing to fear, but you're wrong to think that life is something to waste. We're on this earth to live. Drugs can be a great part of that, but there's so much more to life. You're lucky to still have people who are there for you. If you continue to treat yourself this way people will have no choice but to separate themselves from you to avoid the unbearable agony associated with waiting to get the call that you've overdosed and died. You seem incredibly selfish and even though you may not value your life, I'm sure that others do, and to cause another that kind of pain just to chase a high is deplorable.