Gay Rape (merged)

**shevek** · 07-01-2005, 07:10 PM

Yes, guys get raped too! And the rapists aren't even necessarily gay; it's usually done by STRAIGHT guys, and the VICTIM is often a gay guy. (Just because a guy is gay, doesn't mean that he wants to do it with EVERY OTHER guy!!!)

I almost got raped when I was 14 by a bunch of other kids about my age. Funny, I'm the gay one (though I wouldn't come out for a few more years), and most of the others regarded themselves as straight. Except for one guy who I have to wonder about, but he was also something of a bully and I never really liked him that much though we sometimes kidded around together. The attempted rape on me put an end to the kidding around of course. I never told anyone about who was involved though I knew all of them, but I know I was very fortunate to get out of it before it went through.

Two of my boyfriends had actually been raped that way when kids, one while in a reform school designed to "straighten" boys out(!) This particular school was shut down after some kid was forced to sit hip-deep in a pile of manure for several hours, got gangrene as a result, and died from the infections. I also remember one time when I was walking around one evening, and stumbled upon the same kind of gang-rape party that was just getting started. I was glad I broke that one up, even if only accidentally.

I knew one friend of mine who was hustling (selling himself to other guys) for a living. I'd even picked him up and had sex with him several times myself, and I fed him or gave him money without requiring anything back on a number of occasions. Not that he minded having sex with me; he was gay, he said he actually enjoyed it, and he preferred to "earn" his money. Anyway, some sicko who had just gotten out of prison was up to his old tricks; I'd heard of a rash of similar incidents happening about the same time. This sicko picked up my friend, slipped him something in a drink, and would have raped him while he was out. My friend however realized what was happening, and contacted his roommate who fetched him and took him home before he passed out completely. Needless to say, that sicko was caught and went right back to prison, hopefully for good this time!

This brings up a point: even a hooker or hustler can be raped, and NO ONE, not even a hooker, deserves to be raped. Except perhaps for the rapist or molester himself getting it in prison AFTER the fact, in which case it might be considered poetic justice!

I want to hear from you about getting raped or molested (or close calls, or friends who've been raped), what you've done to try to recover from this horrible experience, and what you've learned from it. Sympathetic women are welcome here too!

**dangermoose** · 07-01-2005, 07:52 PM

i was raped at 16. it destroyed all aggresive tendencies i had and made me into who i am today. i dont know if i ever really did get over it

**shevek** · 07-01-2005, 09:45 PM

I don't know if you're depressed (a VERY COMMON reaction to being raped and/or abused), but if you are depressed, feeling suicidal or worthless, finding it hard to feel any pleasure in life, etc. you might want to see about getting into a rap group for rape survivors and possibly into therapy. You may want to check with gay resources in your area, even if you're straight, as most men feel incredibly deep shame over being victims, and the gay community is increasingly willing to acknowledge the need to support survivors in this. Anything is easier to bear when you know you're not alone, knowing that someone really does understand if for no other reason than they've been there too. It may even help you learn to transform your bitterness into wisdom rather than letting it eat you alive.

In addition, if you know for sure who did this to you, you may want to get some legal help in pressing charges. If nothing else it may help bring closure, and it just might get a dangerous sicko off the street before he rapes again. (It's much like a dog that kills its first chicken; after that, the only way to keep the dog from killing more chickens is to keep him away from chickens.) Even if he was your "friend", I have to ask: how could anyone who's REALLY your friend, turn around and RAPE you??? And yes, you have EVERY RIGHT to feel completely enraged over this, and it wouldn't hurt to let it all out (preferably on a punching bag, not on innocent bystanders!) so that you can get it out of your system once and for all. Remember, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

**dangermoose** · 07-02-2005, 03:07 AM

nah im cool, still a happy camper, i appreciate the concern though.

**shevek** · 07-02-2005, 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dangermoose

nah im cool, still a happy camper, i appreciate the concern though.

No problem, I put it up for anyone else who reads these posts too. It's going to be VERY tough for guys to come out about this, even in a forum post, it doesn't mean that they aren't interested in some advice and/or support.

**dangermoose** · 07-02-2005, 04:02 AM

oh yea, 4 years ago and i woulda checked it out. personally i've come to terms with it on my own terms though

**shevek** · 07-02-2005, 04:37 AM

Dangermoose, I also caught one of your posts on the Rape from every angle thread. I don't blame you for being extra mad about rape, having experienced it firsthand.

**Hip-Hoplover1** · 11-29-2006, 12:39 AM

What are your responses to this poll?

**Hip-Hoplover1** · 11-29-2006, 01:24 PM

I suppose I should clarify that this thread is for homosexual men who have been either orally or anally raped by homophobic straight men. But I'm sure you guys could have guessed that.

**Bishie lover** · 11-29-2006, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hip-Hoplover1

I suppose I should clarify that this thread is for homosexual men who have been either orally or anally raped by homophobic straight men. But I'm sure you guys could have guessed that.

That makes little logical sense when you consider the choice of words...