stoned excuses

[wafflehead]

whats the worst/best excuse you ever gave when you were caught either by parents or anyone else. the best one i used is when i was living with my brother and he asked me why my eyes were so red and i told him its b/c i was crying cause i was worried about making money b/c my hours were cut at work. he believed it and i was trying my hardest not to laugh the whole time. whats yours?

[shaba]

"I just woke up" is classic.

[wafflehead]

once my mom asked me why i was so happy and i accidently told her i was drunk and that was a different story all together. that was the first time i got blazed so i didnt know what the hell i was saying

[MagicSwhirlingShip]

lol i try to keep my toking on the dl to people who dont toke. So i use the excuse that i fell asleep with my contacts in and it works like a charm everytime. Soon though they may realize i dont wear contacts.

[Godot]

I'm reeeeeaaaaaalllly tired.

[Peace Attack]

It's all this goddamn polllen I swear!

[mynameisjake07]

thats prolly the worst excuse ive heardwhats the worst/best excuse you ever gave when you were caught either by parents or anyone else. the best one i used is when i was living with my brother and he asked me why my eyes were so red and i told him its b/c i was crying cause i was worried about making money b/c my hours were cut at work. he believed it and i was trying my hardest not to laugh the whole time. whats yours?

[Duck]

The only times I was accussed of being high, I was sober...

[DejaVoo]

yeah duck its weird when yer sober...your parents think u ARE stoned!

but if my eyes are all red and all, they never ask but if they did, i'd say i just took a shower or just woke up, or i'm really tired. makes sense to me!!

[MelvnDoo]

It's all this goddamn polllen I swear!
this could have a double meaning...

pollen from flowers, and pollen, the type of hash.


so yeah, you can be "stoned" from pollen :p

[DejaVoo]

HA...i say if ur gonna have 2 have an excuse...stick with a simple one.

like excuses that are so complicated seem so fake! plus if yer stoned, if yer 'story/excuse' is long and complicated, ur gonna 4get it haha!

[WynterFrost]

they dont ask....but my mom did.....when i lived with her....i said my contacts are just a little dry then she asked why are you so figgitie i was like oh yeah ....ummm i think it was the new soda i drank....im not sure....(i told her it was Serge)

[DejaVoo]

haha soda...yeah sometimes im all shaky!
what's serge? haha

[BrokenGlass]

Surge is like Mountain Dew but it has alot of caffeine in it. I havent seen it anywhere in years.

[hippin life]

they need to bring back Surge, it was good for all nighters.

[MagicSwhirlingShip]

surge WOOT!

[WynterFrost]

SURGE WAS THE SHIT! lol that was the worst excuse i had lol....that was so long ago....but i remember cause she fell of it...

[WynterFrost]

and what about JOLT...that was the shit too!

[BenzoHead]

I dont really use an excuse anymore, I just come home look at my mom give a big Smile go get something to eat sit down beside her and watch tv.Then i go back to my room and get blazed again and go to sleep

[peaceboy]

my best excuse is either im buning incense or the pollen in the air

[Bassist]

Haha, you guys know parents see right through that shit? They know what's going on, they aren't that dense.

[peacelovebarefeet]

hahaha i remember surge what happened to that shit!?

[fcuk]

its not about the excuses. its all about confidence and acting normal. if any of my family members catch me with red eyes i look straight into their eyes and tell them its not. strange as it may sound it works for me.

[kris_p]

and what about JOLT...that was the shit too!

jolt was the shit, i loved that stuff

:H

[Inavacuum]

HA...i say if ur gonna have 2 have an excuse...stick with a simple one.

like excuses that are so complicated seem so fake! plus if yer stoned, if yer 'story/excuse' is long and complicated, ur gonna 4get it haha!
Yea or more commonly in my case, sart slurring/mixxingup/etc. your words and then there's not mch you can say

[syd]

I act too normal adn say way too fucking much. like:
"Yeah, how your day? thats good, whats for dinner? oh yeah? Anything interesting hapening tonight? yeah? ok thats good...."
or i slur a word....

[ziggyfly]

last time i Came home Blazed.. my dad was like "wow.. and hour and a half to pick up a movie" and I was like " yah man...they ended up being closed so i went and Smoked pot instead.." then he went "ha ha silly hippie.. Do listen to your records"... lol So i kinda don't hide behind anything.. llol

[Xexe17]

The only times I was accussed of being high, I was sober...
I agree, in fact it just happened like two days ago.

[Beleg]

The secret to telling a good lie is to belive it yourself.

[Spastic_Monkey]

SURGE WAS THE SHIT! lol that was the worst excuse i had lol....that was so long ago....but i remember cause she fell of it...Jolt > Surge
--EDIT--
Whoops, I missed your post right under that one...where you mentioned Jolt...

[nirvana187]

I agree, in fact it just happened like two days ago.lol, I was talking to my friend on IM and as soon as I read that she accused me of being stoned.

[THCsetmefree]

usually mine is somthing along the lines of " uhhhhh...i dunno...haha " my whole family knows i smoke so i dont even bother lying about it...they hate liars more then pot smokers...my dads gf pisses me off though cuz ill come back from a day of smoking and fishing with my brother in law and she'll be looking at me then she says somthing about it , i just wanna be like " bitch mind your own fuckin bisnuisse " I usually just say im dehydrated or " sun warped " cuz my body doesnt handle heat to well, beside her no on else really says anything about it

[goofydrummer]

i say i sprayed axe in my eyes (i always use axe after i smoke)

[forest420]

well they nevr had accused me of being stoned but ontime i was making food and i guess i was saying shit that didnt make sense and my dad was making food next to me and was like whats wwrong w/ u and i was like nothin...

[Eugene]

"what are you talking about? My eye's aren't read."
That's my best excuse, just deny deny deny. Make 'em question their own sanity.

[Trident Lover]

Haha, my friend had been caught drinking so he decided to stop smoking for awhile as well. He went downstairs to get a box to put all his smoking shit it and walked past his mom, when she asked what he was using the box for he answered, im getting a bunch of drawing pencils.

If thats not the worst lie on the spot then i dont know what is.

[deadhead123654]

lol i always use the contact one.. wat i do is i where old ones alot so i always have somewhat red eyes... and if i come home and they are really red and my parents are suspicious i just take out the contacts and put in some eye drops which makes them considerably less red.. still red but compared to b4 they are good

[outlaw immortal]

i have contact lenses so i could play the "i put them in the wrong way round" card. my family knows i smoke weed, but whenever i'm in a friends parents car (if they give me a lift) i just try not to talk to them. but they try to be polite and ask how the film was and what we did, in my head i have to plan out every word and i have to try to remember how to pronounciate (spelling???) it.

[Trident Lover]

Yah, i dont wear contacts but luckily my eyes dont really get red, or you can only tell if you get really close and look at them.

[DejaVoo]

The secret to telling a good lie is to belive it yourself.

wow..thats so true..best advice and best useful advice ive heard in a loooong time !

[StonerBill]

the secret however to getting your way is to not tell lies at all :)
no, really, you can get much further with people by telling select truths than by telling lies. when you tell teh truth, there is no way you cant believe its true as well.

but in this case of eyes it doesnt work and the best way to excuse your eyes is actually not to have an escuse at all. i mean, how many non-smokers even consider the redness of their eyes unless theyre blatantly more red than white? i remember i didnt.

you gotta be as out of the blue as your parents.

'why are your eyes red'
'they are?
*look in mirror*
hmm maybe it was the dust from under my bed, i was tryin to get somethin and i had to crawl right under'

that sorta thing. its the only time its worked with my mum, she can pick when im stoned really well.

[deadhead123654]

my eyes dont get red in the winter, only summer.. which has made summer a bitch cause of allergies which makes them ever more red then normal.. but winter i come home stoned as hell and no one knows the difference

[Trident Lover]

I know that in most cases with most people in most familys with most parents its better to tell your parents a lot because they will trust you more, but i have found with my parents that is not the case.

because i told my mom that my friends stayed out unitl 5 am and came home and my friends mom didnt mind, she makes it extremely hard for me to sleep over there now.

because i tell her that i was somewhere and the parents werent home, she takes away more of my privaliges and makes me tell her exactly where i will be throughout the night.

I have come to realize if i tell my mom less, i will have more freedom. I may come to change this conclusion later on in life, but for now...

I need to stop telling her everything abotu my life....

Does anyone disagree because i would love to hear anohter point to this argument because i dont know exactly what to do to have a little more freedom and this is the only conclusion i have come to so far.

[loveflower]

i have contact lenses so i could play the "i put them in the wrong way round" card. my family knows i smoke weed, but whenever i'm in a friends parents car (if they give me a lift) i just try not to talk to them. but they try to be polite and ask how the film was and what we did, in my head i have to plan out every word and i have to try to remember how to pronounciate (spelling???) it.


there's pronounce and then there's annunciate.. i think you whipped up your own little word :D good job, it's beautiful

[kayahaze]

I know that in most cases with most people in most familys with most parents its better to tell your parents a lot because they will trust you more, but i have found with my parents that is not the case.

because i told my mom that my friends stayed out unitl 5 am and came home and my friends mom didnt mind, she makes it extremely hard for me to sleep over there now.

because i tell her that i was somewhere and the parents werent home, she takes away more of my privaliges and makes me tell her exactly where i will be throughout the night.

I have come to realize if i tell my mom less, i will have more freedom. I may come to change this conclusion later on in life, but for now...

I need to stop telling her everything abotu my life....

Does anyone disagree because i would love to hear anohter point to this argument because i dont know exactly what to do to have a little more freedom and this is the only conclusion i have come to so far.

Thats almost exactly the way my mom is. If I told her where I actually was going most of the time she wouldn't let me go, so I just tell her I'm sleeping over at someone's house or sometimes I tell her I'm working. I want to tell her whereI actually am but I can't. She's trying to keep me out of trouble but all I'm doing now is lying to her before I go out. And it's not like I'm doing anything wrong while I'm out,it's just she wouldn't "approve" of the things I'm doing.

[Bernie]

mmmm i was at this party on friday and one of the parents there came up and asked me to play the piano as a birthday treat... i had smoked 3 joints and 3 cones of REAALLY good weed and basically i was stuffed. yeah so i had to think of an excuse as to why i couldnt play the piano and i couldnt say im stoned coz that would be rude... so i couldnt think of an excuse and went and played the piano. very difficult but felt rewarding once had finished.

[Beleg]

the secret however to getting your way is to not tell lies at all :)
no, really, you can get much further with people by telling select truths than by telling lies. when you tell teh truth, there is no way you cant believe its true as well.
Of course, you can try saying "Im going to go smoke weed" when your parents ask you where your going. Telling the truth can be the perfect lie, they just wont believe you. The bonus is, if they catch you doing it, you can just say "I told you so". :D

[outlaw immortal]

there's pronounce and then there's annunciate.. i think you whipped up your own little word :D good job, it's beautiful
haha. i'm making up words and i get my english GCSE results in three weeks:eek:

i wasn't even stoned when i posted that. hahahaha:D

[WhisperingWoods]

Of course, you can try saying "Im going to go smoke weed" when your parents ask you where your going. Telling the truth can be the perfect lie, they just wont believe you. The bonus is, if they catch you doing it, you can just say "I told you so". :D
Hahah, one of my buddies did and still does that. But anymore, he says it just to tell the truth or piss off his mom. "Hey, mom.. me and the band are gonna go get totally stooooooooned in Mike's car." "Damnit, Bradley."

I hear he got his mom to smoke with him once, when she was drunk. :p

[goofydrummer]

i have a chlorine pool in my new house so thatll be a real nice one

[corduroy]

But mom... Dad does it, so does my brother.... and my uncle, and your brother, and your other brother, and my cousin.....

[monarch]

my mum would kill me if i even hinted about smoking weed, or even cigarettes or alcohol. i cant wait till im all moved out and settled down, and hopefully MJ is legal =)

but for now, since my family's from india and are relatively very conservative, im forced to lie.

[PLyTheMan]

I do have contacts, and most of the time my eyes are red regardless of whether I actually smoked or not. So thats my excuse, its great unless I try to use it and I have glasses on... so far I haven't made that mistake.

[DeadheadHippieForPea]

my eyes dont get red so i dont have to worry about it...:)

[Ebene]

This is a good thread... so bump

As for me, I was toking at my friends house in his room. We had all our shit out on the table and his folks walked in unexpectingly. We were extremely fucking stoned and they asked us what we were doing. He said nothing then they asked "then what is all that on the table for?" And he said "it's a mirage."

I swear to god it was the funniest thing ever. Anyway, we didn't get in all that much trouble because both his parents smoke too. His mom was really disappointed in him and his stepdad threatened to kick his ass next time he gets in trouble.

[cannabiskid420]

i was working at a ski resort last winter and on my break i went to the parking lot and smoked a joint. when i got back to the rental shop everyone could smell it on me. so when the manager asked me what i did on break i told her i went and took a crap and that was the end of the qusetions.

[livininthe70s]

the other day my mom asked me why do i get high? i told her its because i can. and all she said was "just remember, its not the 70s anymore. they (cops) don't just slap your hand any more." i told her i know but its not going to stop me.

[Erock]

i usually get pissed when somone at my house says somthin about me smoking
because they all know i smoke
but i say i quit -to my dad
so when i come home stoned and im playin halo and im like owned bitch
and my brothers like what ever pot smoker guy
im like "fuck you"
and if some one asks why my eyes are red im like "NO"
and they are like no what
and then i bust out laughing and roll on the ground

[NightWalk]

This is a good thread... so bump

As for me, I was toking at my friends house in his room. We had all our shit out on the table and his folks walked in unexpectingly. We were extremely fucking stoned and they asked us what we were doing. He said nothing then they asked "then what is all that on the table for?" And he said "it's a mirage."
Ahahahahahaha. That's the best response ever! :D

Nobody has ever really noticed my red eyes (not even myself, I don't think they get red that much) and nobody can tell when I'm high or not really. I'm around my mum high all the time, my friends are too. She hasn't noticed. I hope.

[chief_420]

The only time I got called on about my red eyes was in the learning center in my school. The learning center is right by the cafeteria so I ussualy eat my lunch and then lay around the learning center. Well that day I called myself out and said I needed to head on over to a dentist appointment and i came back about an hour later and by then it was my lunch time (what a coincidence eh?) but i didnt eat at all jus' got a sip of cool cool water, and went to sit down by a couple of buddies. My biology teacher came by and came over to me to talk to me about where I was during his hour, I said dentist app blah blah blah uk this and that, and then he just smiles and says oh yeah well then howcome your eyes are so red? and there was nothing I could really do so I jus smiled and then he's like well dont miss out on more class. It was quite nice he saw things in my perspective, but then again I think the only reason he let me off is cuz im the only student that really converses with him (he's a bit odd but i dig it)

[WDYKAM]

Slept with contacts in, contacts are dry, allergies are bugging me, played too much ps2. It goes on and on.

[trailerparkboy]

i usually get pissed when somone at my house says somthin about me smoking
because they all know i smoke
but i say i quit -to my dad
so when i come home stoned and im playin halo and im like owned bitch
and my brothers like what ever pot smoker guy
im like "fuck you"
and if some one asks why my eyes are red im like "NO"
and they are like no what
and then i bust out laughing and roll on the groundwow

[mynameisjake07]

Today my teacher in first hour asked if I was drunk


My response: uhh uhhh uhh, walked away

[WDYKAM]

Today my teacher in first hour asked if I was drunk


My response: uhh uhhh uhh, walked away
lol good answer.

Last time someone asked me if I was drunk it was my mom after coming home from a local festival.
My response was "Yes mom, I am indeed, quite drunk at the moment." Then I went to sleep and in the morning got grounded.

[danyo]

my friends parents walked in on a little party he was having when he was stonned. his mom looked in his eyes, said 'your eyes look awfully red' and he said' yeah.. but thats ok' his mom told his dad that my friend had been smoking... his dad just laughed at him.. almost started geekin out.

[pianoperson60]

i say im feeling sick. but my mom is cool with me smoking, so she doenst ask. if anything, she laughs and says i look stoned.
but other people in school have asked before, and ive said "yeah, im not feeling good. damn, are they really taht red?" and maybe that soudns dumb in writing,but it all ahs to do with the delivery too, i think, and its always worked. my eyes dont always get really red though, sometimes they can be convenient. but, sometimes they get SO FUCKIN BLOODSHOT ITS RIDICULOUS, and yeah, i gues i just said im sick, or somethin. but no one ever really asks, because, somehow, most of the people i know seem to be fine with it, and most parents realls respect me in my area, i knwo that soudns concieted, but i just mean i think they know i smoke, since im kinda a "flamboyant" hippy, but they also see that i have goals and taht im motivated (or else i wouldnta applied for a congresspaid shcolarship and won it and gone ona yearlong exhcange, for example...and please im not trying to sound conceited, im just using an example...and im also really blazed right now, FYI!). so i dunno. no one really asks,but i usualyl say im tired or sick or i just took a nap, nothing too complicated.

also i say i was swimming and opened my eyes underwater.

anywho,
tschüs
dylan

[mr.greenxxx]

feeling tired, havent slept, feel ill...

it goes on- thing is at the moment when ur stoned and ur baited by ur mum the sort of adrenaline hits you and u just splurt out everything at once instantly seeming fake. if im caught ever tho its cuz i stink of smoke/ act dumb/ or caught smoking. if my red eye is really really noticeable i AWLAYS put in eye drops, if its minor im not bothered

lol i remeber first time i got caught in my room.

i was so stoned when i got home i didnt bother about opening windows or anything in my room, i blazed 2 big heads in my room and like 2,min after i finished i was jamming with headphones on max while playing diablo 2. she opens my door (unlocked from ebing so high) and like starts saying the whole house reeks and shit like that, and im like listeining while still looking at the game, soshes like llook at me. i did and she then knew i was high- but i kept saying it was cuz i played the game for too long that day and that i was just buring paper for no reason lol. then i confeseed- got a lecture, and a scanning look everytime i got home for the next week.

meh :D

[prismatism]

haha, i like the mirage story.

a good stoner understands the slow process of turning "signs" into just normal you. like, you can't talk in a clear voice around your parents, because when you're high they'll notice the difference. so you start talking a little quieter and throatier in normal conversation, and they'll probably think you're just moody or tired. just start one morning when you actually are tired, and don't stop. then you slowly introduce your sunglasses. get a pair with lighter lenses and wear them a few times a week, and then just wear them all the time. you have to slowly start burning incense, like once a week, until your room just smells like them by default. don't use nag champa for a while or they'll notice. the only smell more stereotypically stoner is weed itself. and start saying weird random things in normal conversation, so when you say a lot of weird things in succession it's not weird. if they ask you if you're stoned when you're not, you can make them feel bad.

this'll either work, or it won't. it worked with some of my friends. i can't lie, it's not that my lies aren't believable, i just can't. luckily nobody in my family cares, but i have to pretend my sister doesn't know. so i just act weird around her all the time and she doesn't know the difference.

i like the blatantly obvious approach too. it works. like "hey, mom, me and my friends are gonna go get really high and paint your car yellow. i'll be back in an hour." "where are you really going?" "i told you... we're gonna get high and paint the car. then we might set fire to some mailboxes. seriously." and if she gets mad, you can make her feel stupid for believing you. "i'm kidding. i'm not actually gonna smoke pot, or destroy anything. but if the car is yellow in the morning, don't blame me."

[pianoperson60]

ok more?

[xxcheesepuff977xx]

Mhm. The contacts bullshit works almost like a charm...because I actually do wear contacts. Hehe. And why do you have "redness relief visine?". Hm...I never could anser that question.

I act weird even sober, so when my mom asks what the fucks wrong with me I just point out gently (since shes ashamed tohave a fucked in the head kid) that I always act that way..aha...and she shuts up. She suspects that I smoke, drink, do drugs..but she prefers to act like she doesn't know. Whatever. I just work on hiding it from the people who dont know cuz you never know who likes talking shit about stoners if they know.

Also if my teachers give me that "i know yer stoned" look...i just dead stare them in the eyes and for some reason when I do that, they never do ask. It helps that I never talk much either. So if they do ask all I say is *dead stare* "no"

[chineseeyesguy420]

everyone in my family knows i smoke, besides an uncle. he use to do some pretty hard drugs for a while,but now he's sober. i don't think he could care too much since i only smoke, but just to be safe, no one says anything about smoking around him. so i really don't need any excuses.

the only times i do get questioned about my eyes, i usually say it's my allergies; if there is a mirror close by, i pull the looking into the mirror and act like i didn't know they were red. if you can make yourself believe it, they will usually believe it. it's all about delivery and making yourself believe that its the truth. i put in eyedrops after i smoke if they get too red. for the most part though, if it's only like a little shade of red and nothing to bad, ill let them go. everyone know's i smoke so why bother? the only complaints i get when i smoke is about the smell. and if i run out of incense or something, grandmom will always hook me up with a candle. she's cool like that.

[06thenewsummeroflove]

I can make up any excuse and say it seriously and with confidence and pretty much get away with it. Which is easy with my parents but not so much with authority figures in which i dont know, I tend to stutter especially if i'm not reallu stoned and just on my way down.

[Infinite Sky]

Fake sneezes or yawns usually do the trick.

[rob1134]

haha, i like the mirage story.

a good stoner understands the slow process of turning "signs" into just normal you. like, you can't talk in a clear voice around your parents, because when you're high they'll notice the difference. so you start talking a little quieter and throatier in normal conversation, and they'll probably think you're just moody or tired. just start one morning when you actually are tired, and don't stop. then you slowly introduce your sunglasses. get a pair with lighter lenses and wear them a few times a week, and then just wear them all the time. you have to slowly start burning incense, like once a week, until your room just smells like them by default. don't use nag champa for a while or they'll notice. the only smell more stereotypically stoner is weed itself. and start saying weird random things in normal conversation, so when you say a lot of weird things in succession it's not weird. if they ask you if you're stoned when you're not, you can make them feel bad.

this'll either work, or it won't. it worked with some of my friends. i can't lie, it's not that my lies aren't believable, i just can't. luckily nobody in my family cares, but i have to pretend my sister doesn't know. so i just act weird around her all the time and she doesn't know the difference.

i like the blatantly obvious approach too. it works. like "hey, mom, me and my friends are gonna go get really high and paint your car yellow. i'll be back in an hour." "where are you really going?" "i told you... we're gonna get high and paint the car. then we might set fire to some mailboxes. seriously." and if she gets mad, you can make her feel stupid for believing you. "i'm kidding. i'm not actually gonna smoke pot, or destroy anything. but if the car is yellow in the morning, don't blame me."

this is totally true. whenever my mom is like "what are you gonna do at (so and so's) house?" i respond with something like "i was gonna get wasted then smoke a whole lot of pot. ill be back when the munchies hit" but say it sarcastically and she'll be like "ok wise ass real funny" and it works everytime. plus, you're telling the truth and dont feel guilty!

[ziggyfly]

uhm hmm i dono it seems the only time accused of it is when im sober.. then once that happens theres no getting away from the whole "your stoned" issue... lol cuz well i usualy laugh and squish my eyes together hahahahahahahah so they are just like
"yep whatever" haha

[Token]

Cop: Why are your eyes so red

Me: Just got Contacts *takes it out and eyes begin to run*

Cop: Oh Ic yeah my brother didint take to Contacts well either


Oh Yeah!!

[Twizz]

I can come up with some great and pretty creative excuses when I'm stoned, but the problem is that I usually have nothing to back it up.

And I can't come up with excuses on-the-fly. They just don't make ANY sense.

"Why are you outside this late, sir?"

"Uhh, my joint was sick so I had to walk it."

[OstrOsized]

I can't think of an excuse for looking stoned that will fool my mom because she grew up in the 60s smoked more weed then than i'll ever see in my life. (And sadly, she isn't cool with weed now because she's completely sober). Also my eyes have a habit of being VEERRRYYY red when i'm stoned (not just kinda stoner red). Probably cause I wear contacts.

[SpENS93]

my freinds were smoking 2nd hand smoke i was playing madden =]

[SpENS93]

lol i remember yesterday i was really blazed my sister asked why my eyes are red i said cuz im black haha.

[~peace~]

Of course, you can try saying "Im going to go smoke weed" when your parents ask you where your going. Telling the truth can be the perfect lie, they just wont believe you. The bonus is, if they catch you doing it, you can just say "I told you so". :Dhaha i did that to my mum. I said to her that i was going on an "adventure" with my mate callum. then she sas like "What exactly do you do on these adventure? go out and do drugs", i then replied with
"pretty much yeah!" then we had a good old laugh, i went out and got stoned off my face...

[rydns]

i dont say anything...... I just chill and be high. My mom dosent care as long as im not doin it and bragging about it, cuz my dad would like disown me.

she still gives me the usual bullshit of how its "bad"...... but I think she knows.
anytime I go to my brothers I get high and if she dosetn notice then DAMN shes dumb.


-rydns

[methaneorange]

When I lived with my mom she mainly got to the point where she just yelled at me for having it in my car.

Like one day I was half asleep and she came in and asked for my keys (her truck was getting repaired) so she could go to work. I vaguely remember saying they were on the desk. Later on that day after she had returned and left with her truck, I got in my car and checked my BBQ container (really though, one of the best hiding places) and the half I had was stuffed into a larger bag and all the empty bags around it, my pipe was placed in a shoe in the back floor, and my hitter was put in an empty cigarette box inside another shoe.

She yelled at me later because she was worried about getting pulled over and being searched and charged for that stuff.

I remember too where I got in trouble in middle school for having a lighter and my discipline slip had the work paraphernalia on it and she was mad because it made it sound like I "had drugs or something" on me.

[subHerban Greens]

lol i try to keep my toking on the dl to people who dont toke. So i use the excuse that i fell asleep with my contacts in and it works like a charm everytime. Soon though they may realize i dont wear contacts.
Contacts don't do that when you sleep with them in. I sleep with them every night and I've never noticed red eyes, though my vision is blurry sometimes for about 3 minutes. It sounds like a good excuse though, to those who don't know anything about contacts.

[_toker_]

Contacts don't do that when you sleep with them in. I sleep with them every night and I've never noticed red eyes, though my vision is blurry sometimes for about 3 minutes. It sounds like a good excuse though, to those who don't know anything about contacts.Unless the person you are lying to wears contacts and you don't know

[mynameisjake07]

Scenario


OOOOO OOYAHHH OOOYAHHH BABY
"girl moaning"

Mom walks in

AHHH, Jake get off your sister why are you fucking her?

Jake- Because im high Bizzznatch!

[~peace~]

Scenario


OOOOO OOYAHHH OOOYAHHH BABY
"girl moaning"

Mom walks in

AHHH, Jake get off your sister why are you fucking her?

Jake- Because im high Bizzznatch!ooooooook......
may i ask where that came from? lol

[QuestionAuthority]

But mom... Dad does it, so does my brother.... and my uncle, and your brother, and your other brother, and my cousin.....
lmao. great one.

[xsoulx]

Lmao. Usually, when my parents ask me, I just act as if I have no idea whats wrong:

"Why are your eyes red?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Your eyes, they're really red"
"What? Thats odd. Dont know, maybe the wind outside or something."
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah Im fine"
"Okay"

It works. Usually for some reason when Im high and/or drunk I can always pull off the sober act. Then as soon as the door closes I often make a really weird fucked up face and start doing really weird shit then Im back to normal fucked-up.

=]

[Tekkenlaw]

This was a friend of mine's excuse.

"Why are your eyes so red?"

"I got a piece of dust in it"

"But both of them are red!"

"Compensation..."

[Fallout55]

If some one accuses you of smoking weed, just say your to high to do a thing like that.

[bigtree]

"why do you always think i'm high, i rubbed my eyes too much"

[Autentique]

It's hilarious because I've suffered from really bad allergies all my life, especially in my eyes and whenever I was stoned and my mom would see my red eyes she would just hand me my eye drops :)

[tom11]

a freind of mine once told his mom i threw chili pepper in his eyes. Afterwards i smacked him upside the head.

[stratface]

i always say i left my contacts in too long. because that's what teenagers do.

although, to be honest, everyone bat my school in the teachers knows i smoke, so there's noone to really hide it from.

[PhishheadDeadhead]

haha once at school in first period i used the alegies excuse. but my teacher was pretty sure i was stoned.

i kind of have a repuatation for it at my school.

[PhishheadDeadhead]

hahahah awesome.
i kindof have the same, in the spring time.

last year i had to get eyedrops with steriods from a doctor (a friend of mine) to clear the alergies up.

he told me that things like clear eyes and visine just move the pollen and shit under your eyelid and stuff so when it comes back up its worse then before

[seizedbyanger]

i usually just said i was tired/just woke up or that i was crying.

[rydns]

The only times I was accussed of being high, I was sober...me too

[Colimon]

My Lines:

1. "My eyes are red and my pupils are dialated because I smoked some of the best pot in town!"

2. "Oh, we just had burn time mom."

3. "I know, I know, I'll get the smell out, I promise!"

4. "No Mr. Woodcroft, (vice principal, lurkest guy ever) it WOULD have been very very nice: with a nice red bong, party bowl, some good pot, some cool people and some munchies, but I haven't been doing that."

5. "You get high yourself, why do you ask me you hypocrite?"

Haha, yeah, I don't really need excuses! I do try to not tell any heatbags I get stoned though...

[CircaX43521]

x

[CircaX43521]

"Because I'm Possessed"

"Because I've been smoking some crack"

"Hmm... Weird"

[Deech]

this is the best... one time my mom came home from the store and got me some of these little pads you wipe your face with that cleans them it kinda feels like seabreeze... later she came home after i had smoked.... she said why are your eyes so fucked up... knowing i was high i just said i think i might be allergic to those new wipes you got me...it worked so like a spell

[Deech]

one time my best friend was not only high on pot but he had taken some pills his mom says Trevor whats wrong with you... he just looks at her and says "IM THE DEVIL!!!!"

[Zzzo]

Yeah my parents are retarded my mom found a lighter in my room and assumed I was high lol

[swazo]

"I guess crack does make my eyes go red, thanks for noticing"

[knotdirty]

Worst excuse ever...I was supposed to meet up and study with my dorm mom, but got blazed instead. so I knocked on her door and said

"I'm not gonna be able to study. Family emergency came up and I have to take care of business...on the phone. With my family."

[Deech]

lol so u knocked on her door and said on the phone... lol

[floodhappy]

I work with construction so i just say some saw-dust got in my eyes

[sandbar*pain]

"You reek of smoke."

"...................................haha yeah"

[maddhatter]

since it's january, i can say the cold weather makes my eyes red..which is sorta true. i've never had to use to many excuses, since it's so obvious to my parents when i'm stoned..they just don't really care.

[Captain Cannabis]

This happened to me last week at school: I walk in the room and stop then took a step back (I dont know why I did) Then I dropped my book nd asid Fuck but I didnt know how loud I said it. The teacher looked at me and said the next tmie I swear she'll wash my mouth out with soap, so i said "good it'll cover the smell of the weed".

She looked at me and said "why do kids today pretend to do drugs, it doesnt make them look cooler" (typical old lady) and I sat down and just laughed.

[Captain Cannabis]

This happened to me last week at school: I walk in the room and stop then took a step back (I dont know why I did) Then I dropped my book nd asid Fuck but I didnt know how loud I said it. The teacher looked at me and said the next tmie I swear she'll wash my mouth out with soap, so i said "good it'll cover the smell of the weed".

She looked at me and said "why do kids today pretend to do drugs, it doesnt make them look cooler" (typical old lady) and I sat down and just laughed.

When I was walking out of the room at the end of class she asked me why I always showed up late with lots of cologne on and I said I got layed on by a dog.

Worst excse ever, it didnt even make sense lol.

[Captain Cannabis]

This happened to me last week at school: I walk in the room and stop then took a step back (I dont know why I did) Then I dropped my book nd asid Fuck but I didnt know how loud I said it. The teacher looked at me and said the next tmie I swear she'll wash my mouth out with soap, so i said "good it'll cover the smell of the weed".

She looked at me and said "why do kids today pretend to do drugs, it doesnt make them look cooler" (typical old lady) and I sat down and just laughed.

When I was walking out of the room at the end of class she asked me why I always showed up late with lots of cologne on and I said I got layed on by a dog.

Worst excse ever, it didnt even make sense lol.

[maddhatter]

hahaha it would be funny if she believed it. so you said everyday your late it's cause this dog laid on you..i wonder what she was thinking lol.

[Captain Cannabis]

hahaha it would be funny if she believed it. so you said everyday your late it's cause this dog laid on you..i wonder what she was thinking lol.
I realized that after I asid that to her lol. I was thinking "She probably thinks I'm some crazy dog molester now" :lol:

[.trippin..]

i usually go with complete denial and even if the dont buy it i certainly am not changing my story
or theres the "i was sitting in a smoke infested area mom"

[dr frylock]

The only times I was accussed of being high, I was sober...dude same here. my eyes get irritated alot. Like dry out and shit. So they get red from time to time.

[Chris337]

My eyes are bloodshot normally...people ask me if I'm high all the time. My mom pointed it out once (when we were on vacation and she knew I couldn't have done it) and I just said "yeah I dunno why, my eyes are bloodshot a lot". She then made a drug joke.

My eyes don't get extensively red anyway, so "tired" works well.....never been accused while high though.

[Fancyabongripski420]

one time i told this person that the sky was so beautiful that i was crying over it
i was fuckkin bakeddddd!

[robert2525]

hi im new. ill give you a snippet of conversation and my miraculous excuse.

Best:
"Bobby(im bobby), why are your eyes so red."
"Oh, i poked myself in the eye......twice"

my worst:(really stoned, and utterly exhuberated when this one was said)

"bobby, why are your eyes so red and bloodshot?"
"oh i was trying to shoot lasers from them. Turns out i can only shoot dirty looks"

[dr frylock]

the other day i said that i got rubbing alcohol in my eyes. cause thats what i used after i shave. Worked like a champ

[Xzei]

my worst was deffinatly when my sister came to our house one day and i was watching POD and she was like "Why are your eyes so red?"
my answer was "Im stoned as fuck... shit pretend i didnt say that"
that was the day i found out my sister and her hubby blazed

[killswitchjd]

uh, my contacts are fucking with me.

[Whiskers123]

I just smoked a big bowl.

[dr frylock]

my worst was deffinatly when my sister came to our house one day and i was watching POD and she was like "Why are your eyes so red?"
my answer was "Im stoned as fuck... shit pretend i didnt say that"
that was the day i found out my sister and her hubby blazedsounds like what happened to me when my sister walked in my room and i was rolling a fat dutch. Me and her blazed a few months later before the badfish concert.

[Captain Cannabis]

Holy shit I triple posted. I didnt even know it.

[chugtonio]

If I get caught sneaking out out my house and shit, I always end up saying something about going tp'ing lol

Heh that reminds me
One time, about 5 months ago, my friend had to take care of his neighbors house for the weekend
We smoked in his house the whole weekend lol
On the last day, we snuck out at around 12 at night to meet up at the house and we drank and smoked weed and cigs for a good hour when all of a sudden my mom calls
I live close to that guy so I just ignored the call, booked it home and snuck into my bed without my mom noticing
I don't know where she was but somehow I made it in perfectly without her noticing
I'm a bit paranoid so I just stay quiet in bed for about 15 minutes, forget about it when all of a sudden my mom comes in my room and turns on the light

I 'wake up' acting all tired like WTF did you wake me up damn it...
Barely glancing over the covers at her, she asks me where the hell was I
I said I was hungry, got some food then went in the laundry room to get all my cloths for tomorrow
Made no fuckin sense; I was damn high and tipsy- 3/5 on the cross faded scale
Lol
I just put my head back down like alright you heard it, get the fuck out and let me sleep lol. she left my door with doubts but forgot about it in the morning

[chugtonio]

Whenever anyone asks me why my eyes are red I just act pissed off like
'what, are you trying to convict me of being high' and just blow them off
I say something like 'I dont know, maybe I have allergies'
Some half ass excuse

[Edd.tokes.to.much.]

i just say that im high in a sarcastic voice and my parents will laugh and leave me alone.

[skierdood]

One of my co-workers asked me why my eyes were so red this morning, i said it was due to box dust. I work in an area with lots of boxes of files and theres tons of paper/box dust in the air. Works every time.

[Xzei]

man
my dealer dropped off some bud last night around 11
and today i chilled with some buddies after school
i got home around 4
and my sister-in-law is like so did you go to your friends house after school?
i was like yeah and i walked from there

and she was like
was it the same person who came over last night?
first thing i thought was shiiiiit
i just told her he said he got off work at either 7 or 11 and we could chill after
then i told her he got off at 11 and came over to chill and i told him i couldnt and he left :P

[overactive imaginati]

im allergic to my freinds cat, so today my eyes where all red when i got home, and my mom asked me if i was on drugs. she never suspects anything when i am high though

[Mr. Oblivious]

I tend to side with sarcasm, i just tell my parents exactly what happened and they belive me cus they think im lying. Also my brother told them that i smoked about 10 months ago, so now i say, "oh i havent touched that shit in 10 months, leave me alone"

[xLEFTOVERCRACKx]

I have two ways.

I usually say to them "Oh nothing mom, I was just smoking marijuana and crystal meth." She usually thinks im kidding when I say that.

but if its about my eyes being red, my mom knows that I have a bad habit of always rubbing my eyes, so she doesnt really notice that. I would only be fucked if i had the smell of weed on me.

[edyb123]

ehh, i just say im pissed

[Lunadaze]

dont ask any questions and i won't tell you any lies

[Reefer Rogue]

I have no excuses for my beliefs, instead i propose justifications and explanations.

[pwnypls]

my best excuse is either im buning incense or the pollen in the air

yah, i remember the first time i ever did anything like this, it wasnt with weed, but it was this plant that grows in my yard, and it tastes okay, and goes down smooth, so why not smoke it, right? (plus i can never find any fucking weed). so it was my first time right, and i had a friend over, and we went out back to this fort thing i had. so we each get comfortable, and roll idk, 8 or 9 each, and put tem all out in this over flowing homemade ashtray. we had the whole ambiance thing going, candels, lighters, knives, papers, and the smallest bit of incense (we were noobs back then kay?) and so we go back in to get our sleeping bags and shit. well, this was our first mistake, we go in reeking of smoke (the stuff combined with the paper we were using smelled exactly like cheap ass cigs or somthing) and i kiss my mom goodnight, and she freaks out, because my breath is that of a stoner, and she decides to go down to search the fort. i sprint down before her, and dump the whole tray into my friends soda (mine was out, lol) and apparently i missed one, bc she piked it up and was like WTF!?!?!? IS THIS FUCKING POT!!!!!!>>>>>!!!!!???? and im like no, mom, no...chill, its just a bit of sage, and she was like, why is it rolled up? and so im panicking now, and i have to think quickly, so i say we were making incense with it, and trying to make it smell good(XD) and she wanted to know why my breath smelled like it, so i said that there was no ventalation in my corner, and i kept breathing it in (total fucking bs) and now to this day, any smoke on me is a camfire, or incense :) but then again, she still brings it up. lol.

[pwnypls]

lol, i can never joke with my parents like that. ill be like yes mom, i was out with my friends smoking weed, and then shell be like, "OMFG!! HOW THA HELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT WEED IS?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!" hah, what a cunt. lol, the only reason that they try so hard to fucking shelter me, is so that they arnt viewed on as bad parents by the fucking pto or whatever, they dont really care.....damn them.(not for not caring, but for bn closed minded fucks) lol

[Magical mystery tourguide]

ive never been questioned about my red eyes but there are cops walking around in our school every day so pretty soon i will probably have to, so if they turn the corner and im stoned ill pretend like im sneezing and my nose is running

[Thecookiemonster]

I just say i got hit by a pine tree. Then they ask me why i was in the woods.
If its summer just say you have allergies

[polecat]

I came home, my mom asked why my eyes were red.

I meant to give the never fail "I'm just tired". I ended up saying "I'm just hungry".

Caught...

[TheMadcapSyd]

"Nah I'm not high, I'm just........nah"

[thisisme5]

I love excuses lol use em all the time... Whenever i smell like pot i just say we had a fire and it works everytime.. Aparently my parents dont know the differance between pot smoke and fire smoke which sounds good to me

[`jack`]

They only question me when i smell like cologne. I just say i have to stay fresh for the ladies and they laugh.

I came home after drinking a shitload of beer, they're like "jack you smell like a brewery!" I told them some random dude spilled his beer on me and they believe it.

[The Backyard Stoner]

i use eye drops if i'm gonna be around my parents, so far they haven't suspected a thing.

[nickers224]

my eyes always get super red...so i try to use vsine it works i just say allgergies if i forgot the eye drops


one time i was super stoned, went to the kitchen, open the pantry door and my mom was right there and i asked her "mom do we have any weed left?" really fast though, bu i didnt mean to say that haha
and she said exuse me? and i wa slike uhh....do we having anything left in the pantry....it was terrible:eek:

[`Akasha`]

"yeah, I'm really tired for some reason..."

the thing is that half the time I'm actually just tired, people think I'm stoned! haha

most of the time, I'll admit that I've been smoking. Not ashamed of it. unless it's somebody that shouldn't know.

[pushit]

I had said I was just tired last time somebody asked me if I was stoned.

[pushit]

I came home, my mom asked why my eyes were red.

I meant to give the never fail "I'm just tired". I ended up saying "I'm just hungry".

Caught...
Rofl that is the funniest thing I've heard all week!

[jahmerimaka]

The only times I was accussed of being high, I was sober...

word to that brotha.

Ive been accused by my parents a number of times and only one time i was actually high, and it was about 3 hours after i smoked. However, i was coming from the beach. So it was that salt water.

If your not by the beach, your friends pool is probably a good one.

[Severely stoned]

I had to explain to my physics teacher that my eyes were red because I was allergic to my cat and he was in my room last night so i was having a sortof allergic reaction thing to my cat being in my room.

I can't fucking believe she believed me.

[PsychadellicSinatra]

One time I had been smoking late in my room at night & my dad came in & was like 'your eyes are so red.' & I go "oh, its from staring at the computer screen so long and there's no lights on in here, so I have to strain my eyes to read." & my dad was like, are u sure you're not high? & I was just like, no, of course not. and he left.

[flapjack]

back when i was sixteen or seventeen i used to tell my mom that i always smoked week and did all sorts of illicit drugs. i actually never did anything more than blaze back then. at first she was watching me like a hawk, but when it became a normal thing for me say ''im going out to buy an eight ball,'' fallowed by a mocking laugh she would laugh it off. that or either ignore it. so when it came to her questioning me id always say that i was high and it would totally fuck with her mind. when she asked where i was id say ''i met up with a drug dealer who sold me some bubonic chronic that made me choke, shit it ain't know joke, i had to back off of it and sit my ass down. tang-array and chronic im fucked up now.'' i cant remember the rest of that song but thats how i played my mom thru high school. id say the easiest way isn't to lie, and i never did.

[klondike_bar]

^lol.

im naturally warped, with a habit of getting bloodshot eyes every so often for no real reason.
its kinda irritating when someone starts treating you like your high and you are not...

[MrDot]

All I do is just tell the truth, they ussually just take it as a joke and move on.

I joke around and say I'm high all the time, that way they never know when I really am.

[BryceTheHippie]

the best excuse is to tell the truth in a rather sarcasic voice example: mum: why are your eyes so red and glossy? me:im verry stoned
hope this help a lil bit

peace easy
Bryce