would someone please tell me...

[kitty fabulous]

...why the hell falling in love scares the holy living shit out of me???

[Peace Attack]

You're not ready.

[MattInVegas]

It's a new emotion for you.

[rain_in_summer]

I don't know you well enough to say why you feel that way, but I am scared of falling in love because I'm scared of trusting too much, of depending on a single person too much and making myself vulnerable - scared of being rejected and hurt.

[kitty fabulous]

not readY? new emotion? i've been married twice, and i have 2 kids!

[scarlettchasingroses]

i suggest you go read a few posts by old crone......

this is merely what i suggest......

[HoneySuckleBlue]

No, dude, go buy her books and read them every day!!

It is scarey to have to let your usual and comfortable defenses down...you are once again vunerable...and that opens you up to being hurt...but it also opens you up to so much more than just pain. You just have to choose where you let your focus, or perceptions meander. Is the cup half empty or half full and all the information you gather in between tells you volumes about who you are in this life.

Crazy stuff this being in love....so many powerful lessons come your way!
Listen to your heart and if you need to go slow or special conditions don't be afraid to ask for them. It is so important to grow at your own speed....I think, it's what makes you, you.

lol though heartfelt this too is merely a suggestion:& Old crone is the poop

[kitty fabulous]

i think i'm more afraid of something going right than something going wrong. i can handle dysfunction. hell, i could write a book on dysfunction!

ken & i talk about trust & vulnerability often. it's just as scary for him, too. when we met, it all seemed to be happening so fast. i wondered if we would drift apart when i was away, but now it's been a month & it's apparent that this really does have some potential, and that we may actually be really good for each other. which in a way, is even scarier than a messed-up, one-sided relationship like the ones i'm used to, because it requires real work, real change, real growth, real presence, real risk, real trust, and real vulnerability.

[HoneySuckleBlue]

...but how good and really satisfying does being real feel?:)


Mmmmhmm...put those fears away and embrace the goodstuff!! This is what you are here for in the first place! (btw, this is something I am learning as well, because I am so used to certain programs which incite me to want to flee any relationship that I have been in...if I was always ready to run I did'nt have to open up and be vunerable because it could end at any time...)

[kitty fabulous]

...but how good and really satisfying does being real feel?:)
mmmmmmmmm, it's wonderful! i got a love letter from ken yesterday, that he had just written straight from the intensity of the heart & stuffed in the envelope without editing...and sometimes, the realness is overwhelming & terrifying, but still, so good! i didn't expect to fall in love at all, and certainly not like this! today i was packing up my art supplies & found objects and thinking about how much fun we're going to have creating art together. and how wonderful it is that finally, after all these years, and so many (um, a little too many) dysfunctional relationships (even with other artists!) i have someone i can share that with! we've been sending each other twisted rusty washers and fortune cookie fortunes and interesting tags the same way other lovers might send each other flowers. the vulnerability & depth of emotion is a little intimidating for me, but it all feels so right!

[sylvanlightning]

Thats just sweet.

Receiving can sometimes
be much more difficult, than giving,
but when you surrender it its wonderful.

Welcome those you have called,
with passion and empathy.

[kitty fabulous]

i wish things wer still going right. this is an old thread. last night ken became frustrated, and broke my radio. i'm feeling very uneasy about all this, and looking for a way out. maybe it's time to reconsider that women's shelter in kingston...

[mariecstasy]

it sounds like it kitty!!! just another step towards your happiness....you dont need to live in fear

[kitty fabulous]

i still think the tent is the better option, but i'll need a place to store my stuff.

[KosmoJo]

I think you have a cute sense of reality towards your fashion romance, especially when sending pieces of everyday objects of affections to each other such as fortune cookies and neat tags.
I have in the past took numbers from fortune cookies and special numbers from my deceased wife(bless her karmic influence) and bought lottery tickets. Several months later we won $10,000 on a set of numbers. We raged. The feeling of love and common respect was awesome.
Love I never will forget even though it ended with tragedy.
I now live with schitzophrenia because my love for her was so intense at the time of her death my heart and mind could not handle it. But so stupid that I am , If I had a chance to do life over, I would love her all over again, because she made feel things and see things in life. I would otherwise not have seen. I have not been in love since her, probly due to being scared shitless of the pain I endured, Someday I'm gonna have those love light shining again in my life. May Peace Love and Happiness be with you.