M&M Man Commits Suicide

[EternalHunter]

A languid leap and a languidly
tragic diabetic is dead.
A determined discourse
taken has shaken
the children to the
rich chocolatey core;
it has cracked the skin
a fractured M&M
that melts in the sun,
not in your hand.

[TomDijon]

mental imagery is not that spectacular visually, but conceptually, metaphorically, it's god damn beautiful! in a sad way... i take it a local diabetic man committed suicide? or it's fiction?

[skyfire]

oooh i love it...the alliteration and assonance flows through the whole poem nicely...and i like the way you chose to break up the lines, and the last few lines...very interesting...

[Crayon]

I love this piece like a mofo.

Tragically confectionary

[EternalHunter]

It is not actually about a human. I was thinking about throwing this ceramic cowboy M&M man out of my window, and I imagined he lept and wrote this instead. I need help.

[fulmah]

It is not actually about a human. I was thinking about throwing this ceramic cowboy M&M man out of my window, and I imagined he lept and wrote this instead. I need help.
lol... I love it when there's a wierd story behind the art.... and while it's not exactly truely crazy wierd... there's a certain... visual that's conjured...

enjoyed the poem, too, btw... the only thing I can suggest is removing that second "languidly" from the first line. imo, it's counterproductive to what you're trying to do :)