Desert Rose

[matty mcfatty]

its far from my best b/c i did it sober, and it still needs more work. but tell me what you think!

Can't really sleep,
but too tired to think,
too sick to drink,
a heart too broke to beat,
and a car that can't be on the street,
see, there is this desert rose i wish apon
but sometimes the hot desert heat hits me like napalm on Vietnam,
and all around the rain pours down yet i still get burned,
been down this road before yet i still haven't learned,
crows do laps around my head as they shit on my shoulder,
and i can feel myself growing older,
heated, but colder,
or so the saying goes,
i really didn't mean what i said, did you mean what you chose?
now i yonder for the blooming of that sweet desert rose

[Hippievixen]

the best line, in the middle:

"but sometimes the hot desert heat hits me like napalm on Vietnam"

really juicy!

i loved *all* of it, however.

[matty mcfatty]

thank you, for your opinion.

[gointocalifornia]

good, but u may want to rename it or change it a little, desert rose is a really famous sting song.

[matty mcfatty]

oh shit. sting wont care.thanks for looking out for me!

[sparklesinthesky]

i like it maybe it should be "a heart too broken to beat"
it paints a good picture