I tried killing myself last weekend..........

[SurfhipE]

Basically, that's the whole story.

I go into a MAJOR MAJOR fight with my parents, like, them telling me that if I leave not to come back....sooo I took 18 asprin and didn't feel good...told them and they freaked and I had to do all this stuff to throw it up. I really really did NOT want to die, that's why I told them, but....I can't believe that I did it...it makes me feel so...horrible... when I even think of it....They are sending me to a shrink now and hid the asprin bottle....
Beautiful consequences.

[FunkyPhreshMama]

my sis did that with asprin once, they didnt pump her stomach but told her not to fall asleep......

[tom]

Beautiful consequences.

Be glad they got involved. Some parents don't care enough to do so. Considering the possibilities, yes, the consequences are beautiful.

[SurfhipE]

well, I was being sarcastic but I guess it could be a good thing to...

[JoneeEarthquake]

18 wouldnt have done it, dont kill yourself, its a permanant solution to a temporary problem

[SurfhipE]

Thanks :-) I see that now

[purcolekraze]

My mom hides all types of medicine so my brother and I can't get high off them or try to kill ourselves with them. Medicines in my house are locked up.

[PureInnocence]

18 wouldnt have done it, dont kill yourself, its a permanant solution to a temporary problem
Thats a great explanation.

[DarkLunacy]

I've taken 20 excedrine with no problems and they have a higher content of Acea-whatever. Suicide is stupid and painful. Dont do it dude

[Grunge Lord]

Suicide isn't painful if you choose the right method. I also tried once but it didn't work but unlike you I wish it had. But I hope you get better don't sweat the small stuff alright?

[SurfhipE]

Thanks guys..I wish I had heard all this BEFORE I totally messed up...oh well, it's good to hear it so I never EVER do it again

[moon_flower]

You did it because of an arugment with your parents? Could you find a more petty reason, please? If you're gonna do it atleast do it for a good reason, and do it in a manner that will actually kill you, not just make you terribly sick!

[lover/young_peace]

You did it because of an arugment with your parents? Could you find a more petty reason, please? If you're gonna do it atleast do it for a good reason, and do it in a manner that will actually kill you, not just make you terribly sick!

dont take this the wrong way but...hey man, chill out... we dont know this person or her situation exactly, we just know what she told us. yah, a fight with her parents sounds petty to me too, but she did add that is was a major fight. it couldve meant more than we know. ive got no idea why im saying this but i am anyway. okay im done now. i close my mouth

~peace~

[moon_flower]

A bad fight.....I have those daily..I don't go around taking asprin, though!


I don't care if I know him/her or their situation..I gave my opinion, if you don't like it...don't read it!

[Grunge Lord]

Well the last thing a suicidal person wants to hear is there problems aren't valid. And that she didn't try to kill herself the right way, I think thats a good thing concidering she didn't want to die. Its almost like your egging her on to kill herself moon_flower and thats not cool. Don't listen to people like this, even if the arguement was petty which I doubt, its the small things that make up life.

Peace, Love, Empathy!

[SurfhipE]

Grunge Lord and lover/young peace...thank you guys, really. It wasn't just "a fight" it was like, family falling apart stuff.....bad stuff, so please, don't judge. Thank you guys for sticking up for me, when I read what moon flower said my heart dropped and honestly it didn't help...reading wht you guys said made me feel better...thank you :-) ..I don't feel so judged anymore.

[lover/young_peace]

well yeah what grunge lord said is absoulutley true.

who are we to say you werent justified in your actions? i mean, killing yourself is never the answer but ive had the feelings before. then i go to a friend to get help and shes like "well, thats really stupid. you just want attention, and your blowing everything way out of proportion." it really hurt me to hear her say that because shes my best friend in the world, and what seemed like nothing to her meant everything to me. i was forced to heal myself and i think i succeeded. Anyway, i hope your friends will be understanding and sympathetic with you. And although i dont know you, you seem like somebody we would need in this fucked-up world.

anyway peace and rock on

[moon_flower]

It was my opinion!

Move on people...move on!

[lilfunkychicken]

Keep your chin up and it will get better. Believe me it will get better, the pain will start to fade I have been there myself and just about lived to tell the tale xxx

[Grunge Lord]

Not all pain fades, if it does thats great I hope yours does, talk to people about it. The people have to have empathy though. But if the pain doesn't its what you do with the pain that matters. Kurt Cobain took his pain and suffering and entertained millions of people with it. Thats what I intend on doing with mine because no one understands it. And if and anyone understands your pain and I have a slight(very slight) understanding of it then your really fucking lucky.

[maryfairy]

i'm so sorry you had to go through this. i tried to kill myself last january. i didn't want to die either. i had fought with my best friend and i was fighting with my parents over him and his parents too. i love all those people so much and i didn't want all the pain anymore so i took vicadin, and put the phone next to me so i could call my mom to get my stomach pumped. i only took one at first because i thought maybe it'd just feel good and i wouldn't have to die. then i took three more because i didn't feel anything. and then i got really sick feeling and was dry barfing and i couldn't call my mom so i called my best friend. he didn't answer so i spent the rest of the day in bed trying not to fall asleep because i was scared. and the next day i broke down in the halls and told my best friend. we stopped fighting and he helped me get better. he wants me to see a doctor but i can't tell my parents. i looked up what happened in medical books and my case is actually quite normal. most suicide attempts are done with something that makes you fall asleep and most aren't intending to die unless they actually go through with it. it said doctors are necessary, probably true because i still have impulses. be careful for the next year because it is when you are most likely to try again. if you can get through it you can get through anything.

for all the asses who are saying its a petty reason.. its not. sure, its not worth dying for but so is war. when i person has depression (i'm figuring this is what is wrong) minor things can seem a lot worse. its like when you're 13 and get your heart broken for the first time. it feels like the worst thing ever at the time. so fuck you all. try to be understanding for once in your life.

[moon_flower]

There is only one ass....and that's me :D

[maryfairy]

and your proud of this? don't you realize she needs support and care right now?

[moon_flower]

I am aware...but, I still stick to MY opinion ;)

Telling the *world* you tried killing yourself is a way to get attention.

[Grunge Lord]

OKay we've heard your opinion already, but its not helping so just keep it to yourself and stop posting here.

[maryfairy]

but by saying this shit, you could make it worse. that's the fucking problem.

and if you look it up, attempting suicide without intention of dying is a cry for attention from someone. probably her parents.

[SurfhipE]

Yeah, Kurt Cobain was amazing.....I know, what I did doesn't help anything, and it did not, NOT make the pain go away..almost made it worse.

I wish I had friends taht understood....either they say get over it and your blowing it out of proportion (the majority) or the others are like, I know the feeling...life totally sucks, and they are in therapy and stuff too....so, really, neither really helps. Thank God I have you guys to help me through, my happy flower children!

[Grunge Lord]

Yeah I really don't know what the right answer for you is because my friends say the same things: "your overreacting" "your blowing things out of proportion" "Thats no reason to be depressed" after I was I just kept everything in and that just make things worse I started cutting my wrists, my girlfriend broke up with me, etc. So I don't know what you should do probably go to a doctor is the best thing but I don't expect you to do somthing that I wouldn't do. But alot of the people here make you feel wanted and some have pretty good advise.

[SurfhipE]

Yes, thank you :-)

MAIRYFAIRY...I didn't even see all those posts, eck I guess I missed them or something. THANK YOU for sharing your story with me...it really helped, knowing I'm not the only one going through this...I don't think I will try it again..I hope not...also, thank you for sticking up for me...yes, right now I do need care and understanding, not mockery and judgement.

[moon_flower]

OKay we've heard your opinion already, but its not helping so just keep it to yourself and stop posting here.
Nah.......:(

[Althea]

Nah.......:(
http://members.shaw.ca/NadaNaga/Images/Smilies/Signs/okfucktard.gif Whatever. I know exactly what you are doing you twit. THIS is your way of getting attention. Cute....very cute. Quit wasting MY time and others by posting such juvenile nonsense. Grow the fuck up.

[moon_flower]

:D It seems to be working nicely...stop putting fuel into the fire.

[lover/young_peace]

listen moonflower now your just tryin to piss everybody off. this thread isnt about you, and if you start your own we'll be happy to help you sort out any of your problems. But right now we're trying to be supportive of a girl who had the courage to post her story, when she knew she faced a risk of getting negative comments and judgements. It was even more brave considering how personal the issue of a suicide attempt is. so please, we'll all be happy to take your mockery in good humor at a more appropriate time.

[Al the pal]

babe just learn to appreciate life. i've gone through my fair share of family problems with my half-sisters and my parents. it hurts even more when you're stuck in the middle with no voice in the matter, as was my case. i considered suicide, never went through with it, but I did cut and burn myself. just as a way to express my pain and get attention. it hurts looking back on that time in my life and how it affected me. till this day i have serious trusting issues which affect my relationships. it seems like your parents care about you, even if they fail to express it. all i can say is be straight forward with the shrink and think about taking some time to be by yourself to sort out your emotions.

love,
al the pal

[SurfhipE]

Thanks......(to the people that are helping me)

Moonflower and that other person...come on, if you only have mean stuff to say, GET OFF :( :( :( :( it is NOT helping me!!! It only makes me feel worse, thanks......

[SurfhipE]

Athea....asshole. Complete asshole.

[maryfairy]

Yes, thank you :-)

MAIRYFAIRY...I didn't even see all those posts, eck I guess I missed them or something. THANK YOU for sharing your story with me...it really helped, knowing I'm not the only one going through this...I don't think I will try it again..I hope not...also, thank you for sticking up for me...yes, right now I do need care and understanding, not mockery and judgement.you're welcome. anytime you need more help, i'm here.

[SurfhipE]

Thank you:)

[moon_flower]

I'm not trying to piss everyone off. (Though, If I were, I'd be doing a pretty damn good job at it!) But, if I wanted to do that, I'd tell her just to kill herself. I'm saying it's an EXTREMELY petty reason. Like you just said, Ms. Thang....she posted this knowing she risked comments such as mine, but posted it anyway...so I'll post my comments anyway. And, thanks, but no thanks, I wouldn't come to the people here for help with any problem.

And surf...you posted this...I'm just giving comments.

[lover/young_peace]

wait am i the one referred to as Ms. Thang????? if so, awesome, i got a nickname:D

[SurfhipE]

lol! LOVE IT.

[Bug_Man]

Basically, that's the whole story.

I go into a MAJOR MAJOR fight with my parents, like, them telling me that if I leave not to come back....sooo I took 18 asprin and didn't feel good...told them and they freaked and I had to do all this stuff to throw it up. I really really did NOT want to die, that's why I told them, but....I can't believe that I did it...it makes me feel so...horrible... when I even think of it....They are sending me to a shrink now and hid the asprin bottle....
Beautiful consequences.




So what you're telling us is that you screwed that up too.

[Al the pal]

wow...man i just read through all the posts and some people are really negative. yeah suicide is not a way out, but it sometimes can appear to be. really the best thing to do is just take time and sort yourself out, whether with a shrink or by yourself. step back and look at the situation from a neutral perspective. usually when your in the middle you really can't see everything. don't get discouraged by other's negativity.

love,
al the pal

[moon_flower]

wait am i the one referred to as Ms. Thang????? if so, awesome, i got a nickname:D
Yes, yes you are! :D
You should feel privelaged...I don't give out nicknames too often!

[Althea]

Athea....asshole. Complete asshole.
Huh? I hope you know that I WASN'T referring to you in my post. I was commenting on moon_flower's insensitivity to your problem. I UNDERSTAND what you are going through, SurfhipE. I've been there myself (and at times still am). When I was 16 I got drunk/high and downed a whole (super-size) bottle of asprin 'cause of family problems (and my own depression that I hadn't dealt with yet). My parents found me passed out, asked what happened and when I told them they didn't take me to the hospital (god forbid anyone find out THEIR daughter tried to commit suicide), they just made me drink TONS of apple juice to make me puke till it was out of my system. Man, I STILL can't drink apple juice to this day. That wasn't my first (or last) attempt either. I found out through therapy (and hospitalization) that I have severe depression and biploar disorder. Eventually I realized that I really didn't want to kill myself; I just wanted to kill the pain. I won't lie to you, I still have thoughts of suicide occasionally, BUT I talk about it now; to my shrink and to a close supportive friend and a few family members that understand. I've found that if I don't talk about it it just consumes me. It's not easy for me to talk about it either; I'm very closed mouthed about my problem/s.

ANYWAY, my intention wasn't to ramble on about my situation; I just wanted to let you know that I understand and my heart goes out to you.

[SurfhipE]

Althea, oh god I am SO...SO unbelievably sorry...I totally took it the wrong way and it was wrong of me to be so insensitive and jump on you like that. It's just with all this negative feedback and hurtful things people are saying it was hard to sort out that you were trying to HELP, not harm. I feel awful, really, thank you for sharing your story with me, to be honest, it makes me feel that I am NOT alone and although it is just one person, it helps that you are not another person who is thinking I am an attention getter or something. Wow. I hope you can forgive me for being so mean....I feel soooo bad! I am sorry you had to go through what you did, and I hope things are better for you now. Thank's again. :-)

[Althea]

No need to apologize, SurfhipE :) I figured it was just a misunderstanding. I'M sorry that you thought I was talking about you. I just read over my "grow the fuck up" post and I can't even imagine how much that had to hurt when you thought I was referring to you. You must of thought I was one cold bitch. Actually, I'm glad you called me an asshole so we could get this cleared up! *lol*

You hang in there sweetie and always remember suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Also, don't let people like Moon get to you. As I said in my original post, that is her/his way of getting attention; it really had nothing to do with you. Sadly, people like that are so attention starved that ANY attention (even negative) pleases them.

http://www.wholycow.com/forums/images/smilies/hug.gif

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.

[moon_flower]

:) Thank you much, ma'am...but I ALWAYS get attention...I just love it so much, I push to get more!

[SurfhipE]

That's seriously really, really sad...what kind of person tells another who is on the verge of suicide to just do it? Wow...
Althea...whew! I am so glad we got that cleared up, yes, it was very stupid, and I am just glad that I am getting support on here

[TerminalMadness]

Basically, that's the whole story.

I go into a MAJOR MAJOR fight with my parents, like, them telling me that if I leave not to come back....sooo I took 18 asprin and didn't feel good...told them and they freaked and I had to do all this stuff to throw it up. I really really did NOT want to die, that's why I told them, but....I can't believe that I did it...it makes me feel so...horrible... when I even think of it....They are sending me to a shrink now and hid the asprin bottle....
Beautiful consequences.
I feel for you, but are you aware killing yourself is possibly the most disgusting selfish thing you could do? I know; I've tried it.

Besides, why waste that aspirin if you're not going to go through with it?

[TerminalMadness]

I am aware...but, I still stick to MY opinion ;)

Telling the *world* you tried killing yourself is a way to get attention.
Hate to say it, but I agree.

Just like "Spinner" posting about him killing himself, telling people you're going to kill yourself is a bout for attention.

Now that's not necessarily an insult, but you do need therapy if you're going to go to those lengths.

It's like those people who stand on the roof about to jump off as every one looks on and tries to negotiat with them. They're obviously crying for attention and only half of them actually jump.

Taking aspirin and telling your parents isn't an attempt at suicide, it's simply a bout for attention. Try sitting them down and talking with them, and then work things out, tell them their telling you to leave hurt you, don't do something like that to see if they care.

Sorry, but in her own immature way, I agree with moon flower.

[lover/young_peace]

points for TM for sharing his opionion in a civilized way and still trying to be helpful.although i disagree, its good to read a non-arguementitive (yes i made up a word i think) post.

[lover/young_peace]

sort of


hey i gotta make this longer.................there that outta do it.......

[SurfhipE]

I guess it was selfish, but when your in that situation and are that upset, you don't think about it

[Grunge Lord]

I don't think suicide is selfish and I hate how people make it out to be an act of cowardice, that really bothers me. I also dislike the saying "Perminant solution to temporary problems" some problems are chronic what do you have to say to those people? Saying suicide is selfish when you yourself don't understand the pain is wrong, but you said you've tried it so that makes your opinion valid. I don't even remember what my point is anymore, I'm rambling sorry guys.

[SurfhipE]

thanks :-) i kinda understand why people say it's selfish...but, mostly I think that you do it not for yourself, but because you believe OTHERS don't want you around anymore.

[Bro_Rific]

Make love to a black man and you'll wanna live for many years to COME!

[TerminalMadness]

I guess it was selfish, but when your in that situation and are that upset, you don't think about it
That's a good point, and it's true, but tell me, and I mean this without any offense, be honest, you didn't really intend to kill yourself, did you?

My theory: if you were in fact going to kill yourself you would have just laid down and died. People who kill themselves do it.

My aunt tried killing herself three months ago. took a bottle of aspirin and a whole bottle of whiskey and went to her room; my cousins found her three hours later and rushed her to the hospital.

Now, she survived, but she was indeed going to die.

however, as I said, wanting attention through that facet isn't healthy either. You should still get some help, personal counseling, and family counseling.

[TerminalMadness]

thanks :-) i kinda understand why people say it's selfish...but, mostly I think that you do it not for yourself, but because you believe OTHERS don't want you around anymore.
That's true in theory, but mostly all people do it for the sole purpose of ending their misery not because they feel people don't want them around anymore. At least that's what I wanted to do it for.

[TerminalMadness]

I don't think suicide is selfish and I hate how people make it out to be an act of cowardice, that really bothers me. I also dislike the saying "Perminant solution to temporary problems" some problems are chronic what do you have to say to those people? Saying suicide is selfish when you yourself don't understand the pain is wrong, but you said you've tried it so that makes your opinion valid. I don't even remember what my point is anymore, I'm rambling sorry guys.
I understand the pain, alright? I've tried committing suicide three times. But I learned that suicide is a selfish act.

I'm far from religious but in the bible taking your own life is a sin because taking life is a godly act and killing or suicide is a godly act you shouldn't perform.

Otherwise, realistically, I think it's selfish because you take your own misery away and end your problems meanwhile leave everyone behind with their own problems and the misery of your death.

I have a loving mother, a nephew, brother, sister, father and a huge family and I tried it three times. If I'd had died it would have brought them misery and sadness so it is indeed selfish.

I regret ever trying to do so, and I still consider it, but then in that situation think to yourself: "Which people will this affect?"

Whether it's your father, mother, grandmother, dog, best friend, the guy you talk with across the street it doesn't matter. Your death will affect someone and that is indeed selfish to give them that misery.

[Grunge Lord]

Yeah maybe your right maybe it is selfish though I think it could vary from case to case. I think I'm gonna stop posting here, I'm not fit to help somone else with there problems until I figure out my own. Sorry if I've said anything wrong guys.

[FreakyJoeMan]

Eh, don't fuckin kill yerself. Hang around, and don't give 'em the fuckin satisfaction.

[lover/young_peace]

Eh, don't fuckin kill yerself. Hang around, and don't give 'em the fuckin satisfaction.
hahaha ya.... one of the readons i didnt attempt when i was considering it was i want to stay and piss off everybody. plus, i dont want to be forgotten. just wither away and die... NOT ME BABY!!!! WOO HOO!!!! fuck em ,, i am gonna have fun and if evrbody hates me, screw them. i dont want to be nothing. if i killed myself id kill my chance of ever being something. ((what makes you something depends on the person. if you are satisfied with life, you are something. youre somebody.)) i dont want to kill my chance of every improveing my art (im trying to be a writer) and i want to have fun. i am a pessimist, depressive person 90% of the time,, and i do have a tendancy to be sensitive, but i dont wan t to die

[TerminalMadness]

Yeah maybe your right maybe it is selfish though I think it could vary from case to case. I think I'm gonna stop posting here, I'm not fit to help somone else with there problems until I figure out my own. Sorry if I've said anything wrong guys.
You didn't say anything wrong. People don't always agree on this board, and some may argue, but that's all this is. You think everyone here has figured out their problems? Fuck, I haven't and I got a shitload of problems.

Don't worry about it, bro. Take it easy.

[lover/young_peace]

ok i got an idea. lets all agree that whether we have tried in the past or not we are not going to kill ourselves. (of course, if i turn 90 and find out i have cancer, im goin to die happy and on acid, so in that case ill have to break the faith) But other than that NO EXCPTIONS. (except for the one i listed;) )


also lets agree we all love eachother. (even moonflower)


IM IN!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

[TerminalMadness]

ok i got an idea. lets all agree that whether we have tried in the past or not we are not going to kill ourselves. (of course, if i turn 90 and find out i have cancer, im goin to die happy and on acid, so in that case ill have to break the faith) But other than that NO EXCPTIONS. (except for the one i listed;) )


also lets agree we all love eachother. (even moonflower)


IM IN!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!
I love you LYP. Your constant optimistic nature makes me happy. Thanks for it. (This is genuine not sarcasm just in case)

[lover/young_peace]

i love you too TM. :D you just made me very happy.

but of course i love you. i agreed to love you all:)

[Bloody_Kisses]

sometimes suicide seems like the only way to go....but no matter what the persons problems are suicide is just way too selfish. a good friend of mine is dead, and all her pain is over forever. but for me, her other friends, and her parents, the pain will never end. there is nothing worse than receiving news that a loved one is dead. things CAN get better, its just that you need to stay with us long enough to find that out.

[TerminalMadness]

sometimes suicide seems like the only way to go....but no matter what the persons problems are suicide is just way too selfish. a good friend of mine is dead, and all her pain is over forever. but for me, her other friends, and her parents, the pain will never end. there is nothing worse than receiving news that a loved one is dead. things CAN get better, its just that you need to stay with us long enough to find that out.
Very, very well said. Great job! I agree.

Here's a site for depression:
http://bluepages.anu.edu.au

[Bloody_Kisses]

Very, very well said. Great job! I agree.

Here's a site for depression:
http://bluepages.anu.edu.au
thank you! =)

[SurfhipE]

I agree to love you ALL! YAY! happiness..heh! I swear I will never EVER to it again either!

....I just wish that I could forget I ever did it, cuz now, when someone asks "have you ever wanted to die or tried to?" I'm gunna have to say, "Yeah...." and that sucks.

[lover/young_peace]

dont worry sweetie, i tend to have the problem of worrying about the past and i strongly advise you not to. We all make mistakes and we cannot change our past. The only thing to do is to keep walking and try to make today better. (I know it's very cliche, but its the truth) Anyway, hopefully you learned something about yourself, and your life. There's always something you can gain from a bad mistake. Life does get better, and it always seems to have a strange way of healing itself. And if things dont look up for all of us, and we all get old and life turns out to be a shithole? Well in that case, we'll have good jokes to tell and at least we can say we tried.:)

[Tamee]

my brother told me that he used to take lots of aspirin pills, just because he was bored, and now it takes way more than the normal amount to get rid of a headache. like he would have to take a really big dose for him to feel anything. I don't understand it. But my uncle and at least one of his daughters, maybe two, are/used to be suicidal, so I wouldn't put the thought past my brother, as well.

Fortunately, no matter how much shit I seem to always be going through, trying to kill myself has never come up as a possible option.