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View Full Version : i'm no lady-killer (a revision)


fulmah
05-06-2005, 12:38 AM
Harsh light from high-beam in oncoming lane
had my palm up in an attempt to block
and imagine if I came blazing that way,
she’d think I was the second coming
and get down on her knees, pray,
ask forgiveness for her sins,
and not dare make eye contact.
Dazzling things, after all, attract;

and now there’s an Italian girl
with loose intoxicating curls
asking about aphrodisiacs
and, “do I want to come up?”

“Well, yeah, long as you’ve got
a circle-circle, dot-dot…”

Cos the chemical fire forming
from our heavy breath’s combination
allows intense heart-throbbing fuck
shoulders behind the knees
heavenly deep kinda shit.
I mean, you know

how conditions turn surreal,
where your brain files (frame by frame)
amplified audio/visuals?
Reality’s conditional, hogtied,
captive to a universal chaos.

Consider that otherworldly event:
what should’ve been thirty minutes
went for all the night, and now
we’ve split spent-desire’s slick skin
and you’re wearing devil eyes
while the sunrise behind the blinds
coats the room in crimson color.

I can’t call it soul-mates meeting
or anything beyond fortuity,
I’m no lady-killer,
we’ve just chemistry.


*formerly titled "second coming" until this revision. hopefully it will be performed spoken word style once I write some music for it. the original is located here: http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=66145

KittenX
05-06-2005, 01:14 AM
Yummy shit. :) Love to get wraped up in your realities. (thanks for sharing yer love-life! ;))
First stanza is by far the favorite, not to say the rest isn't up to par..but if I had to pick...the whole visual, the symbolism behind it made me smile.

Hippievixen
05-06-2005, 07:11 AM
and now there’s an Italian girl
with loose intoxicating curls
asking about aphrodisiacs
and, “do I want to come up?”

i like this part...

well, the whole thing, really :)

EternalHunter
05-07-2005, 08:48 PM
"and you’re wearing devil eyes
while the sunrise behind the blinds
coats the room in crimson color"

This is my favorite by far. I really like the work you did with this!

Hippievixen
05-09-2005, 02:31 AM
ok, i found another part that did something for me - wonder why? :)

"Cos the chemical fire forming
from our heavy breath’s combination
allows intense heart-throbbing fuck
shoulders behind the knees
heavenly deep kinda shit.
I mean, you know."

you really captured some craziness!

Tye_DyeBrain
05-12-2005, 08:10 AM
Fulmah all i have to say is intensely wonderful