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MistysFrosted
05-08-2004, 06:26 PM
The three freckles under his squinted eye remind me

of connect-the-dot pictures, the smile he loosely throws

hits me like hail, like fire.

His fingers are flat and round and speak volumes.

They whisper: I hold you close because it is dangerous to

cross a street alone. He

explains, how futile your optimism is in the summer.

On the
first day of school these rubber erasers, pink and fresh, like promises,

give way to the grubbier

sandpaper forms of well-worn school supplies.

As soon as class starts, they cave in like martyrs, like saints.

It’s starting to smell like summer,

It hits me when I think about him, and I’m worried, I’m concerned,

he might forget me come the snow.



Any thoughts/comments/criticisms would be greatly appreciated. Especially on the title, since I've had a hard time deciding on one. Thank you!

MoonlightSilver
05-08-2004, 11:05 PM
I love this because it is simply real. I especially love the freckle part. Good job!

osiris
05-09-2004, 04:30 AM
ah, but it is decay that ensures transformation, stability of nature, beauty of spirit. in all of our attempts to live forever we futiley stave off the recognition of our eternal essence.


much love :)

MistysFrosted
05-11-2004, 09:58 PM
Very true, Osiris. I appreciate your commentary on so many of my pieces!:D

Pablo
05-12-2004, 01:30 AM
the imagry in that brought back some memories, how it was at the end of the year of school, all the posibilites.