Snowdancer
04-13-2005, 07:56 PM
This was one of the headlines on my AOHell instant messenger window this morning.
OK, it lead to an article about a horrible incident but just reading the headline automatically made my addled mind go into Onion Journalist mode. I admit that I resorted to some stereotyping please forgive me.
Man Living in Closet Charged
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (April 13) - A man who had been living in the closet for way too long according to his lover was charged with homohide & being on the low-down over the weekend.
Police said Tuesday. Rafael DeJesus Macho-Stud, 35, covertly had an ongoing relationship with his lover, Jeffrey A. Bottoman for 5 years without ever going anywhere in public with him. Further, Macho-Stud constantly denied being anywhere in the GLBT rainbow. He even went so far as to use homophobic epithets & jokes. Bottoman said that once he even overheard Macho-Stud quoting Leviticus & Deuteronomy towards a gay couple that Macho-Stud encountered in Crate & Barrel where Macho-Stud & Bottoman were shopping separately.
"From time to time, you come across a case with very unique - even bizarre - circumstances,'' police spokesman Don Aaron said. "This one probably rates right up there with them. Macho-Stud lived with Bottoman all this time & still tried to act homophobic.''
Prosecutors are going to ask the courts will order Macho-Stud to be outed with a photo in the Photo Gallery of Out & About, the local GLBT paper, & spend five hundred hours in gay bar arrest served consecutive weekends.
Bottoman states that he would accompany Macho-Stud supporting zim while ze is enduring the bar arrest.
Bottoman had allowed Macho-Stud to live in the closet for all this time without their neighbor's knowledge, police said. On Sunday, their neighbor heard Macho-Stud complaining about the oral service Bottoman had given earlier and discovered him, authorities said.
The couple were co-owners of a company that does interior decorating.
04-13-05 11:39 EDT
OK, it lead to an article about a horrible incident but just reading the headline automatically made my addled mind go into Onion Journalist mode. I admit that I resorted to some stereotyping please forgive me.
Man Living in Closet Charged
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (April 13) - A man who had been living in the closet for way too long according to his lover was charged with homohide & being on the low-down over the weekend.
Police said Tuesday. Rafael DeJesus Macho-Stud, 35, covertly had an ongoing relationship with his lover, Jeffrey A. Bottoman for 5 years without ever going anywhere in public with him. Further, Macho-Stud constantly denied being anywhere in the GLBT rainbow. He even went so far as to use homophobic epithets & jokes. Bottoman said that once he even overheard Macho-Stud quoting Leviticus & Deuteronomy towards a gay couple that Macho-Stud encountered in Crate & Barrel where Macho-Stud & Bottoman were shopping separately.
"From time to time, you come across a case with very unique - even bizarre - circumstances,'' police spokesman Don Aaron said. "This one probably rates right up there with them. Macho-Stud lived with Bottoman all this time & still tried to act homophobic.''
Prosecutors are going to ask the courts will order Macho-Stud to be outed with a photo in the Photo Gallery of Out & About, the local GLBT paper, & spend five hundred hours in gay bar arrest served consecutive weekends.
Bottoman states that he would accompany Macho-Stud supporting zim while ze is enduring the bar arrest.
Bottoman had allowed Macho-Stud to live in the closet for all this time without their neighbor's knowledge, police said. On Sunday, their neighbor heard Macho-Stud complaining about the oral service Bottoman had given earlier and discovered him, authorities said.
The couple were co-owners of a company that does interior decorating.
04-13-05 11:39 EDT