I've Stopped Feeling

[honeyhannah]

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 16, bipolar 19 or 20, I have been in a mental hospital, been on medicine and all of that.

Right now I am not on my meds and I have no feelings whatsoever. I feel empty and bored and indifferent and just sad that I feel this way. But I don't have any feelings about anything specific. I don't know why I am this way right now and I don't know what to do about it.

[Mr MiGu]

its better than being sad, no?

[JohnnyATL]

they have stolen your soul.

[honeyhannah]

yeah it's better than being sad, but sometimes being sad can be fun, like if you're really sad and uncontrollable, that can be fun!


Anyway I'm not complaining just...complaining.

[HoneySuckleBlue]

Clear!!!!



You sound like you are under stimulated. *rubs greasy electroshock thingies together*

You gotta get out more girl!!!!

You know?

Immerse yourself in something facinating. Challenge yourself. :) solly,I am in a really good place right now:p

[mariecstasy]

girl...you do know when you are feeling that way you can give me a call right? i am always happy to talk to you.

[kevjin]

Your history of depression sound the same as mine(though I have never been diagnosed coz I've never really told any1), but I havent been through all the treatments you have and I feel the same way. What that means I leave to you

[cool-luke]

I have bipolar, have had it all my life. I just go with what ever it gives me that day. If I'm down I enjoy the down, If I'm manic (my fav) I enjoy the high. So take it one day at a time.

[Utopia_Erwtje]

isnt it dangerous to stop taking your meds? i mean... from depression to mania... i know how it feels to be numb and i'd rather be sad or anything then numb... dont really know what to say to you, sorry... just good luck...

[NaykidApe]

Maybe you should see it as a vacation (maybe). What I mean is if your emotions have been fucking with you as bad as it sounds maybe being numb for awhile is what you need so you can get some distance and regroup.

Alot of the time people who are used to feeling depressed or upset get addicted to feeling that way so when it stops they go through a kind of withdrawal. That's why alot of people keep doing things they know are going to make them feel like shit.

Maybe look at it this way: your emotional life was self defeating (negative) so you got rid of it.
Now, for the moment, you don't have one (neutral).
Next step is to ease into something better (positve).

a big mistake alot of people make in just about every area of life is seeing things in absolutes--either somethings one thing or it's something else, it's one exteme or it's the opposite.

reality's not like that. Reality works in degrees. In my opinion being empty is better than being tormented--being full of negative shit.
and you have to go through a period of emptiness before you can fill your life with something better.

[honeyhannah]

Wow! This is not the naykidape I know :p

But actually I suppose you are right, I go through highs, I go through lows, then I get numb, and then I get a balance, right now I am balanced, so the numbness was beneficial while it lasted, it just didn't feel that way.



Maybe you should see it as a vacation (maybe). What I mean is if your emotions have been fucking with you as bad as it sounds maybe being numb for awhile is what you need so you can get some distance and regroup.

Alot of the time people who are used to feeling depressed or upset get addicted to feeling that way so when it stops they go through a kind of withdrawal. That's why alot of people keep doing things they know are going to make them feel like shit.

Maybe look at it this way: your emotional life was self defeating (negative) so you got rid of it.
Now, for the moment, you don't have one (neutral).
Next step is to ease into something better (positve).

a big mistake alot of people make in just about every area of life is seeing things in absolutes--either somethings one thing or it's something else, it's one exteme or it's the opposite.

reality's not like that. Reality works in degrees. In my opinion being empty is better than being tormented--being full of negative shit.
and you have to go through a period of emptiness before you can fill your life with something better.

[joker]

r u on new meds. That maybe it, but I'm not sure cause I don't know a whole lot about pills. Just sayin a possibility.

[NaykidApe]

Wow! This is not the naykidape I know :p

But actually I suppose you are right, I go through highs, I go through lows, then I get numb, and then I get a balance, right now I am balanced, so the numbness was beneficial while it lasted, it just didn't feel that way.

I've started reading again. and smoking pot.

emptiness used to scare me. Somebody asked me once why I was driving myself crazy over a woman who was obviously fucking with my head (intentionally or not).

I said "thinking about her makes me feel like I'm lost in a big tangeled, jungle. If I stop thinking about her all of a sudden I'm in the desert". Jungles are alot more interesting than deserts...or so I thought.

[crummyrummy]

I've started reading again. and smoking pot.

emptiness used to scare me. Somebody asked me once why I was driving myself crazy over a woman who was obviously fucking with my head (intentionally or not).

I said "thinking about her makes me feel like I'm lost in a big tangeled, jungle. If I stop thinking about her all of a sudden I'm in the desert". Jungles are alot more interesting than deserts...or so I thought.wow...I can relate.

[NaykidApe]

Hey Crummy! What's going on these days?