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fulmah
04-08-2005, 12:01 AM
a countdown came creeping across the apartment
as a viscous ticking clock with alarm set to toll
& pitching elbows on the coffee table, I watched
the hands with silver fingernails flip another card.
she howled, "fuck!" & flung her arms in the air
& right then I was thinking, something’s happening
& right then thunder assaulted the house & our ears
right when she won:

it was godlike proclamation,
the heave of heavy vibration, fuck, & thunder
left windows rattling, left me dumbfounded
& figuring that though the world’s not finished,
that though chance of another bolt is low,
I’ll admit defeat & make no objections…
I’ll apologize

for the failed repair of electrical codes
the brain attempts to arrange
into language the tongue can articulate...
cos right now I’m stuttering, & stuck
blaming a forecast.

the five of cups fell:
a sign of loss, regret, rejection
& for all its grim predictions
I thought, no way… no way…
we only raised our voices twice,
we only had one bedroom battle
& yes, we spit bullets, spilt blood,
broke bottles, lamps, the bathroom door
but we’re past all that now,
I’ve figured out how
to apologize

for everything; anything
to keep it a quiet night, the light turned off,
her fingernails smooth, silver ornaments,
my shirt not stretched or torn/ripped,
our bodies closely curled together,
my hand in hers, held tight to heart.


(previously titled "intermittent reinforcement" until revision. the original is here, if anyone cares: http://hipforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=287195&postcount=36)

Lozi
04-08-2005, 11:38 AM
wowser! as always, you write amazing stuff fulmah:D

EternalHunter
04-08-2005, 08:56 PM
This really touched me. Thanks

saffronfrancisburnet
04-08-2005, 10:31 PM
i love this piece
full of avenues past
and to discover..

let it fall,
let it be learnt why.....

or be for every seeking fighting
for inner love...peace
the world....

lovenpeace from saff

browneydgrl
04-09-2005, 08:28 PM
im fascinated by this, and yet i still cant figure it out completely. i love poems like that

gdhmomchild
04-11-2005, 07:36 AM
The rewrite is terrific, thanks fulmah, always know it'll be something I enjoy.

mrsmorrison27
04-30-2005, 10:36 PM
I really liked this, it has so much depth, and yet, its mysterious ! farout poem!

Hippievixen
05-02-2005, 12:10 AM
she howled, "fuck!" & flung her arms in the air

never a good sign when a tarot reader does something like this!

i loved it, fulmah... your revision is right-on!