Starting a project

[Sebbi]

I've started a novel.

It's about a boy who goes on a fantastical adventure (as always) etc.

This is much more Terry Prachety though rather than Tolkieny. I've all ready written the first 2 chapters, so that is good.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted.

Blessings

Sebbi

[Sage-Phoenix]

Sounds cool, good luck with it :)

TTFN
Sage

[geckopelli]

If your serious- post it quick.

I''ve time and I want to read it!

[Sebbi]

By the way I haven't come up with any names so I will simply refer to our main character in the 3rd person singular.

Chapter 1



The day was bright and it being a week from the summer solstice, it was warm.
Now if I may I will point out this is England, so this means it was not hot so I merely say it was warm.
On this warm day, he sat on the windowsill of the ticket office of Ewell West trainstation, waiting for a train to come from London and wisk him away to where everyone he cared about was - the grim conservative town of Ashtead, filled with youths who hate the authorities, white collar slaves and the kind of middle aged to elderly folk who don't like anything that isn't "In their day".
He was wearing bunches in his hair, a dark green coat, and a rainbow bag with a video of "Fight Club" inside. Sitting in his right pocket was a plectrum and a phone functional in English, French, 2 forms of Arabic and the obscure languages yet to be discovered by anyone outside of SonyEriccson, abc and 123.
He was one the train now, waiting for the train to move, four 13 year old walked past seeing him looking out the window and seeing his bunches said: "Will you suck my...", he looked at them. They looked surprised and moved to the next carriage.
The train was at Epsom now, the place he comes to satisfy all his musical needs, including that of getting a few plectrum to replace the one slipping out of his pocket. It is about this time of year that all traffic in town grinds to a complete halt because her Majesty decided to watch the geegees.
But he neither noticed nor cared for either of these things. At the moment all he was worried about was conversing with the fairies who lived in the tree at the back of his garden.


I'm thinking this will be lots of small chapters instead of a few big ones so I apoligise for the not-much-ness you see.

Blessings

Sebbi

[EroticCookie]

Simple but enjoyable. You seem to get right to the point. Keep up the good work.

[geckopelli]

The "he" thing is hard to pull off.

Name your character or at least elaborate, i.e. "the young man" or something.

Your puncuation needs work. Read more.

[TerminalMadness]

Too short. Establish your character, his inner thoughts, feelings, emotions, personality and take some time to establish his situation before delving straight into the fantastic situations.

Just some constructive criticism.