mental problem? please comment.

[MagnanimityMan]

alrighty folks. =). i decided to post this thread because i came upon a little comment in another thread that reminded me of a situation i've come upon before a few times in the last few years, but once i sat on it for that minute(then), worried for that minute, i'd forget about it... until the next time i'd hear it, and the same thing would occur. thanks to this forum i might be able to get a little feedback from people who might know a little more then ol' ethan =(.
a kid commented, out of the blue actually, that he takes skitzo medication. i kind of believed over the years that if someone truly has skitzofirgqfjbdgiuania, and has lived through the development of it, would have no concept of knowing anything outside of it... it's all they know, it's all they've ever known, learning as every day express itself to the individual, and knowing nothing outside of the developing skitzosdghgania. i think i kinda stressed that well enough. well, i sometimes think about if i have it. i sometimes really find myself spacing out, really deeply... i never used to think anything of it, it was something i did. it wasn't me really blacking out... it was me just falling into thought, having it overwhelm me i guess... i'd block out everything completely. this isn't as sureal as it sounds... just a kid spacing out. but it was never a problem. i was a great student. this all never really happened out of nowhere, at least not when i was remotely occupied. it would only really occur when there's absolutely nothing else on the agenda, and i was just living i guess. i think living is a good word for it. imagine sitting in your family room couch, hearing something on the tv another family member is watching, very faint. that kind of situation i guess. (oh how stephen king has taught me how to write). i've also realized growing up that i live alot more in my mind then many many kids. i notice that they get very wired on some thing, soo attached to life. even before any drug use, i never took too many things too too seriously. i wasn't a spoiled child, not remotely. i wasn't a drunkard in my head, i just grew to know there was something these kids were fretting about that i wasn't.

well, every now and again i hear a symptom of skitzowovhakfgjania, something like spacing out for minutes. i heard that alot, especially in nursing class. there are a few others. remember, i come across this every so rarely. i know donny darko blew it out of perspective alot, but not for some cases i guess.. for many. i have no concept of the more common symptoms. i dont think i truly have it... i would just like to know.
i love the person i've become, and wouldn't think about taking medicine for it... in some sense i would not like to know if i was.

do you think i shouldn't worry about it... that it's just something i'm getting paranoid about and relating it to something abstact liek this and convincing myself it's real?
do you think i might have it slightly?
or shoudl i not worry about it remotely?

[HoneySuckleBlue]

I think it is usually healthy to question...as aware as you are, if you are skitzowhatchamabobers then you may be able to watch it come on which would truely be interesting.

Spacing out is normal as far as I'm concrened...as I do it often and with relish. Have you become withdrawn?? or noticed a shift in how you percieve sensations, colors sounds etc? Do you hallucinate with out drugs?

My general rule of mental illness is if you have to ask then you are not.( I also wonder if I am mentally ill often.) I figure if I am then the people who love me most will start to question my actions and eventually place me in a loony bin... a comforting thought actually.

Have your friends and/or family asked you about your behavior?


...how do you sleep?

[MagnanimityMan]

...how do you sleep?

I have been noticing, even more and more these last few months, that i'm REALLY withdrawing. i mean, i stay social and alive to the world, very well... but it's almost as if i'm burning myself out. i thought that's what it might be, and that is the reason i've really cut back on smoking. but i think that truly is the extent, i dont believe i'm as withdraw from reality and the present when i want to be to be skitzoflabbrasloffin. just smoked too much pot. but i'm ontop of things now.
also with the colors and such... when i really relax i see aura's around people. that's another thing i used to think about. i used to question if it were aura or just my unfocused vision blurring.
my dad's girlfriend says i'm always in "la-la land".
and my brother thinks i'm just burning myself out =\.

there is someone on this forum who's signature qoute on their posts and comments is "live sain inside insanity". that always struck something in me too =). this isn't about the skitzo, but with the mental disorder thoughts you were talking about. i question every so often as well.

[MagnanimityMan]

sorry about leaving "how do you sleep?". i copy and pasted your comment into my reply box, so i could make sure that i hit everything. i ended up forgetting to delete the "how do you sleep?", and realized that was the only thing i forgot to talk about =P. wierd.

i sleep AMAZINGly. i'm in bed every weekday at maybe 10. i wake up 7, no alarm clock, NOTHING. everyday i'm garaunteed that i wake up 6:55-7:10. i just open my eyes, and i'm happy, i'm awake, i'm refreshed 100%. but i sleep SOOOO lightly, soo lightly. if someone TOUCHED the door, i'll wake up, not that i'm a paranoid person... just anysound. a neighbor ringing the doorbell ealry in the morning, with my door locked, i'll hear it to answer the door. stuff liek that. even in the middle of the night. but the thing is, which you'd think differently for such a light sleeper. i have AMAZING dreams, and i remember a lot of them. i even find myself controling them sometimes. does that happen to you? i connect with my dreams so closely. not every moment, but at least once every day or two. sometimes multiple times a night though. every time the dream will be about something else... i dont ever recall when i leave my dream awareness, but i definitely know when i come into it. and when i wake up, i remember everything somewhat well, but definitely remember being very aware when i was actually there... it's as if awareness is up, but memory is half assing it i guess.

[HoneySuckleBlue]

I had this boss who asked me if I lived in LalA land, lol, I did'nt know it was the spring foreward time change...:) and it was three days later.

I dream like that too, do your dreams replay sequences where you feel stuck or traped/pursued, etc.? There are times I'll be in a given scenario and each time if I fail I will come into conciousness att he same spot. It's so much like a video game...'cept I usually have that scarey Alien from Predator with Ahnooold. That thing is hard to kill....and it's oh so scarey....but if you look really carefully you can see it when it moves.


I'll be back...I would'nt worry too much about your skitsojomama, it'll be alright.

[Scholar_Warrior]

the description I'm hearing is an amazingly sane and conscious being. you have an open channel between your subconscious and "conscious" minds, and possibly are open and into higher mind at times - by my humble estimation.

learn to operate your machine smoothly and achieve balance between the three and you will have few concerns.

[Scholar_Warrior]

and Kim, if you can be aware in your dream that you are dreaming, then you can be aware that the monster is only a creation of your emotional and/or mental bodies - it is not real!!! as soon as you are able to wake up in the dream, remember to realize that the monster is your own creation and turn around to face it for the illusion it really is. I guaa-raan-tee that it will dis-appear!

[MagnanimityMan]

whenever i find myself in a dream, it's always in some action. i think that's how it all happens... the dream maybe startles, wakes me up just enough to realize i'm dreaming. i dont know, it's just what i htink. but i definitely do realize that it's my dream almost RIGHT away. i always make note of realizing also =). then it gets fun.

[HoneySuckleBlue]

When the awareness in the dream comes I know i am dreaming, for me the fun is in the conquoring (too bad I can't spell it...) I don't want it to just go away...I want to figure out how to kill it. It's amazing what a bad ass I can be when I'm snuggled safely into my covers, lol.

I've read that the jump from genius to insanity is a short one:D

Do you have recurring dream places MM?...and I'm curious what kinda fun starts once you realise??

[MagnanimityMan]

idont really have reoccuring dreams, not that i remember.
the only dreams i had for afew days were when i was a child. i remember this nightmare more then anything. i was probably 9 or so. and a rat was terrorizing everything. i was so alert during so much of this dream, i remember being TERRIFIED, but not knowing i should control it, not knowing truly it wasn't reality. the rat would transform, as if he were clay, and he'd turn into weaponsand such. it went on for 3 nights. by the third night it was only me and a few friends, it was then when we killed it.
i remember it being so dramatic. it was by far my most memorable dream (not by choice, but by the fact it was some i retained so much from).
but other then that, i really dont recall recurring dreams, even my exerience was a teaspoon of days.

[HoneySuckleBlue]

It's strange what hold so much emotion in a dream , then you take it out of the context of the dream and you wonder why you felt the way you did...

That happened to me Monday night...my tonsils are really gross and release these little 'tonsil babies' some times, but in my dream all of the toxins in one side of my tonsil came out at once and I could see it and it was such a relief...I wanted the other side to do the same thing...but it would'nt. Weird assed dream. Never had one like it before. Have no clue what it is supposed to mean. I wish I could be like Old Crone and Moving Cloud and recognise what they are saying to me.