trans

[be.]

Yeah, that's me. Transsomethingoranother. I've been living it for three years this month, with no kinda help from the medical industrial complex yet, though I'm starting to think about it. Naked, I'm a boy -a skinny, slight boy, but a boy nonetheless -you can see it most between the legs, that boyness that I like better on boys than on me. My face is funny though, because depending on my expression and the comportment of my body it changes up a lot. When I'm just slobbin' around, running to the store and I haven't even had a shave, gentlemen will let tell the clerk they should help "her" first. It's funny. I laugh.
I'm twenty five and I have lots of friends. I live in the best neighborhood in Buffalo, y'know, with all the artsy-musicky types, who are most of my friends, as I am both artsy and musicky. Luckily no one ostracized me or anything when I started displaying much better taste in clothing and getting visibly annoyed with anyone who'd dare call me my old boy's name. I always moved a bit more gracefully and sensuous than a boy. Some people got weird sometimes, but fuck 'em because I have more power now. I have the power that comes from being a completely honest person. I am ascending to divinity.
Also, I'm killa. Killa like black ops, killa like sharp things. I can roundhouse kick a six foot head in four inch heels. Not that I'm militant or anything. Just saying, a lady's gotta know how to protect herself when she's got the balls to be a lady when she's got balls for real. Most of the time though the boys just wanna holla at me. I can't let them get too close though. Something's always giving me away. That's why I think about three simple things that'll make my life easier. I think it's just money that's in my way right now.
I'm going to school for textiles -costume design. I think my careers gonna be easier when I'm just accepted for who I want to be. I've done my time being accepted for who I am. It's been three years I've been making people look at me as a person instead of an oddity, three years being strong and working a high profile customer service job and dealing with the general public from the suburbs and the truck drivers from Maine (nothing against Maine, of course). Here I am now, sick of ruining my complexion shaving my face, and wanting to outgrow my 32A. Today was a "boy day". I have them every once in awhile. I give my face a break from the razor and just put on some damn pants and a shirt -voici, un garçon! I feel so much more though.
That's some of my story. Thanks for reading. Feel free to share.

[Snowdancer]

It's good to see another genderqueer hereabouts. Sounds like you have your priorities correct & have a good attitude. That is really what it takes to be the real you, no matter what that you may be.

You have an A cup? Lucky! I have started working on growing my own & so far have only got to aa. I'm using herbals not an entire formulation yet* & they can be slower. I too have stayed away from the Doctors on this, I don't want to do the hormones that they pedal unless the herbals don't work at all.

Hey it sounds like you practice martial arts too. I studied Tae-Kwon-do & Kung-Fu when I was younger, Tai Chi now.

PM or E-MAil me if you want to talk about anything.
Snowdancer

[be.]

Yep. Kung Fu, Pa Kua, and Qigong. I'm not being instructed at the moment, but I am practicing. My greatest teacher was my youth in my old neighborhood.

Yeah, I guess I am kinda lucky with my 'A's. My pectoral muscles have something to do with it. People also say it'll be my diet and proclivity for smoking as much weed as I can. All I know is that with the right bra and the right top my chest looks all right. I got lucky with my whole body when I think about it. Maybe I was born to want to be a chick. I could've had a body like a big hairy lumberjack, but no, I am a pleasure model.

I still haven't called the doctors. We'll see what happens when I get some money. My priority right now is about not growing a beard anymore. That would make me so much happier.

later still, Be.

[Becknudefck]

did you know guys actually do have vaginas? thats because they start out as girls, and its somewhere in them...not sure where though haha. but seriously though.

[be.]

What? I think you're talking about the x-chromosome thing. Female is the default sex and then testosterone turns those of us who are destined for such things into penis carriers. The male and female genitals are completely analogous though, meaning that the same thing differentiates into one or the other. When they do SRS they use the male genitalia to build the female.

Thanks for the input. paix.

[rainbowcoloreddark]

i admire you guys. more than i could ever EVER explain. alot of people go through life not liking themselves, not udnerstanding. a close friend of mine spent the better part of his life hating being a woman. he didnt understand it, he never felt comfortable in his own skin. his parents put him through torturous psychological treatments...

i dont even know what to say...im not smart enough to put it into words. but you are amazing.