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View Full Version : A poem i wrote, hope to get some feeback, please to brutally honest....


peacehippy
02-10-2005, 11:56 PM
The figurative life, the meaning beyond we know
Not knowing at all, bringing joy to the soul
Knowledge with intent to attract notice and be seen
A lack there of, answers questions of our being
Striving for meaning, where there's none
Experience with unknown minds, as simple as the sun
Trying with expectations of a reward
Not being able to see, how we can't go forward
The secret seeming so close, under all our stress
Eyes opening to unlikely sources, with learning to rest
With disciplined minds, enough to see the real world
Believing, without trying, your life unfurled
Hoping unsolved mysteries, will learn to cease
Realizing it's clear, without thinking, you found inner peace

** About:Just finding what your life is all about, and you can be happy, without trying, versus always looking for meaning. Please feel free to give me any feedback

_chris_
02-11-2005, 01:02 AM
Wow. That truely is an amazing poem, packed with meaning and feeling. Just keep writing!

Rafaela
02-11-2005, 05:24 AM
I really enjoyed, it is deep. The only critique i could think of is flow, and diction. But a great poem nonetheless

peacehippy
02-11-2005, 05:33 AM
elborate more please....i love to hear how i can make things better