what to say to the cop

[mikeyjwest]

If a cop pulls you over and says that you smell like marijuana this is what you should say "I smell like marijuana? Well, you smell like cock but that doesnt mean you were smoking it, or had one on you."

Yeah, for some reason I just thought of that and I thought it was funny and that I should share it.

[garf12]

haha I'm sure they would Love that!

[bertrose]

Dude, if a cop told u that u smell like marijuana...u can basically kiss ur ass goodbye.

[Velouria]

Or you could say you had been burning incense that happened to smell like marijuana.

[Peace]

"Officer you tell me, do i look high?...That's what i thought..piggy"

[TreePhiend]

Or you could say you had been burning incense that happened to smell like marijuana.
Hahahahaha

[Shamrock]

From the song '99 Problems' by Jay-Z

The year is '94 and in my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin law
I got two choices yall pull over the car or
Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor
Now i ain't tryin to see no highway chase with jake
Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
So i...pull over to the side of the road
And i heard "Son do you know why i'm stoppin you for?"
"Cause i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low?
Do i look like a mind reader sir, i don't know.
Am i under arrest or should i guess some mo?"
"Well you was doin fifty five in a fifty four.
Liscense and regestration and step out of the car.
Are you carryin a weapon on you i know alot of you are?"
"I ain't steppin out of shit all my papers legit."
"Do you mind if i look round the car a little bit?"
"Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back
And i know my rights so you gon' need a warrent for that."
"Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or something?
Or somebody important or somethin?"
"Nah i ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit,
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit!"

[Koko4]

Hell yeah sham =) There are a few things cops could say that would be hard to get out of.. like

"Son, you smell like marijuana"
or
"Son your eyes are red, have you been smoking marijuana?"

Or something like that..

[SweeperOfDreams13]

Jay-Z now has my respect.

[cotter builds]

well, true story, my friend and i were tokin at night at a state park. a ranger drove up. i had my telescope with us and it was pointed at the stars. so this nicely cherried bowl still smoking is just sitting in the lit trunk of my saturn. he asks what were doin and i replied with "were just takin a gander at the celestial bodies" he informs us that the park closes at dusk, and tells us to leave when we finish and to next time let him know if were going to do that. got away with that one pretty good.

[UTcolorchangn420]

I love that verse that shamrock typed, Jay Z wrecked that song.

"Got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one"

[KBlaze]

My friend and I were smoking a bowl in a strom drain ditch in my neighborhood. After the first bowl I had a little bit left, and I was like "Hey let's just finish this off right now." So we did and when were were walking back toward the fence to hop back out to the street, a cop was parked there, and hes like "hey get over here". so we played it safe and complied and we were stoned as fuck. the cop goes "Wheres the marijuana, boys?" and i about laughed my ass off cuz we just smoked it all. he searched and searched and we kept telling him we had none. so another cop pulls up in an SUV like a tough guy, and hes lookin at my ID and hes like, i think this is a fake (i had shorter hair) and i say "dude, its not a fake" and he gets up in my face like "dude? who the fuck do you think you're talkin to?" and i was like sorry blah blah, they gave me a test where i had to follow his finger while he was checkin my pupil, and he says " you look like you've had a hit or two." a hit or two! more like a bowl or two. I was stoned as hell and that cop could barley figure it out. my friend got his pipe confiscated (after we tried to hide it back in the ditch) but we got off with nothing but a story to tell. and that story is now over.

Peace.

[UTcolorchangn420]

This is kinda off topic, but it relates to cops and weed...I love the intro to Super Troopers, it's absolutely halarious. I love the look on the kid's face as he's tripping, it's great.

[cotter builds]

This is kinda off topic, but it relates to cops and weed...I love the intro to Super Troopers, it's absolutely halarious. I love the look on the kid's face as he's tripping, it's great.
i came in fresh baked out of my shed and my mom and sister started watching it. that whole intro is so damn funny and freaky when youre high.

[Shamrock]

hahaha
The Shnozberries taste like shnozberries.

[luv2behigh]

From the song '99 Problems' by Jay-ZYOU READ MY MIND.
What does it mean to subscribe to a thread?
Maybe I should read the FAQ.
peace.

[bertrose]

hahaha
The Shnozberries taste like shnozberries.
LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!

[Ganjaman420]

My friend and I were smoking a bowl in a strom drain ditch in my neighborhood. After the first bowl I had a little bit left, and I was like "Hey let's just finish this off right now." So we did and when were were walking back toward the fence to hop back out to the street, a cop was parked there, and hes like "hey get over here". so we played it safe and complied and we were stoned as fuck. the cop goes "Wheres the marijuana, boys?" and i about laughed my ass off cuz we just smoked it all. he searched and searched and we kept telling him we had none. so another cop pulls up in an SUV like a tough guy, and hes lookin at my ID and hes like, i think this is a fake (i had shorter hair) and i say "dude, its not a fake" and he gets up in my face like "dude? who the fuck do you think you're talkin to?" and i was like sorry blah blah, they gave me a test where i had to follow his finger while he was checkin my pupil, and he says " you look like you've had a hit or two." a hit or two! more like a bowl or two. I was stoned as hell and that cop could barley figure it out. my friend got his pipe confiscated (after we tried to hide it back in the ditch) but we got off with nothing but a story to tell. and that story is now over.

Peace.
i wish cops in my town cut me some slack liek that.

[Shamrock]

I've been confronted by cops lots of times with my long hair, tye-dye and glazed over eyes. I was with a few friends one day at bush and I spotted fuzz outta the corner of my eye. Me and my buddy just gave our cheeb and pipes and shit to our ladies cos male cops can't search females.

Again, I ain't past the bar, but I know a little bit. Enough to know you can't search my ladies' shit!

[chandra anjali]

or you could smile and tell the cop you love him, or offer to smoke with him...i'm sure he wouldn't be as offended as he would be if you told him he smelled like cock.
i love to be told i smell like cock. it makes me want to go around hugging people, but he might not.

[TreePhiend]

Always say "I do not conscent to any searches" even if they threaten you with drug dogs and making it harder on you, unless they have reasonable cause they can't search you. Also say "Am I under arrest or am I free to go?" cops freak out if it sounds like you know the law.

[Stan]

"so another cop pulls up in an SUV like a tough guy, and hes lookin at my ID and hes like, i think this is a fake (i had shorter hair) and i say "dude, its not a fake" and he gets up in my face like "dude? who the fuck do you think you're talkin to?" "
-------------------------

I can't believe you didn't tell that cop the fuck off.. You didn't have anything illegal on you and fuck, you were talking to him, and who the fuck does he think he's talking to?

[Sugar Magnolia]

or you could just say "i smell bacon, does anyone else smell bacon?" and then your cool friend can say "i definitely smell a pork product of some type"...wayne's world is such a good movie! :)

[reef]

we got away once by saying
"sir, we have smoked pot in the car a few days ago, but not today."

[emublazin]

if you get pulled over and your eyes are red just say that you slept in your contacts and they irritatied your eyes. as for the smell always carry a incense or good orange scented spray. Oranges cover weed smell really good.

[Ocean Byrd]

A cop can't search your car for smelling cannabis. In fact, if a cop pulls you over at night, flip on the dome light to show you're not trying to hide anything.

[alice11]

lol thats a good one :)

[soulrebel51]

once after me and my friend smoked a couple of bowls we decided to take a walk around town at 2 in the morning. curfew is 10 i think doesnt matter but there are tons of cops who drive around trying to enforce that "law". like they have no life. but anyways we were walking and a cop car drives by and pulls over. pig comes out of his car and comes up to us(this was when i moved to wisconsin, before the cops knew who i was) and he says do you know that the curfew was about 4 hours ago. i said no i lost all track of time smoking weed. my friend was about to shit himself he was so scared when i said that, but the pig thought i was kidding and told us to hurry on home. dumbass didnt even ask why we were out so early.

[DarkLunacy]

A cop can't search your car for smelling cannabis. In fact, if a cop pulls you over at night, flip on the dome light to show you're not trying to hide anything. As a matter of fact they can. If they smell weed then they have just (probable) cause to search....

A good thing to do is to carry a pack of those Bob Marley insense and go "Yeah this is what you smell. My dads friend (or your friend) was a hippy and we thought it'd be funny to get him some. My friend here decided he wanted to see if it really smelled like it -produce half burnt incence stick.- Can I go now or did you pull me over for something else?"

[Bro_Rific]

Here's a grand idea...............Don't smoke and drive and then you won't have to be creative in the lame-ass excuse department.

[RoBoWaLkEr]

Here's a grand idea...............Don't smoke and drive and then you won't have to be creative in the lame-ass excuse department.
Psshh...where's the fun in that?

[LivingLegends]

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[LivingLegends]

.

[Inavacuum]

My buddy and I were once in my next door neighoors tree house at like 2 or 3 in the morning hitting off a bong and after that we also decided to take a walk down to the creek in the woods by my house. When we arrived there where 4 othere people down there smoking as well and we ended up getting like 4 times as stoned as when we started and spending the night in the woods. Told my mom we decided to go camping.

[LivingLegends]

.

[mafuman]

What i like to say is ' why did you become a cop? why couldnt you just raise pigs like your mother? '

[Inavacuum]

Yea I know I just thought it up and figured it was a great story so I posted it.

[TheJolta]

Yea I know I just thought it up and figured it was a great story so I posted it.
Lame.
Lame.
Lame.

[RoBoWaLkEr]

Making up stories on a messageboard to try and sound cool? For shame!

[EuphoricBallah]

I've been confronted by cops lots of times with my long hair, tye-dye and glazed over eyes. I was with a few friends one day at bush and I spotted fuzz outta the corner of my eye. Me and my buddy just gave our cheeb and pipes and shit to our ladies cos male cops can't search females.

Again, I ain't past the bar, but I know a little bit. Enough to know you can't search my ladies' shit!

THATS SO RETARDED...bc ive been searched by a male cop and so was my friend...thats a good peice of info to know. thanks.
:mad:

[Ocean Byrd]

THATS SO RETARDED...bc ive been searched by a male cop and so was my friend...thats a good peice of info to know. thanks.
:mad:

That sucks. Fuck, cops can't even pull shit out of your pockets unless they think it's a weapon; a glass spoon isn't anything close to a weapon, btw. But they usually threaten you into it if you decline.

[RoBoWaLkEr]

That's not true that a male officer can't search a female. They can't STRIP SEARCH a female, but they most certainly can pat down a female, or virtually anyone that they want to for that matter. It's some law that was passed in order to "protect the safety of officers". It states that they can pat down anyone for weapons if they feel it's "necessary", which is totally their judgement call. It's not like searching a trunk which requires cause/consent. If you guys want more info on it go to erowid.org and look under the culture/law section. However, one loophole is that if they pat you down for weapons, and find let's say a baggie of unidentified substance, they can't go ahead and further field test it to see what it is or whatever. I know there are some cases like that but don't quote me. Actually, if anyone else knows I'd like to know...

[FTNW]

Go >>HERE<< (http://www.flexyourrights.org/)

And you'll know what to do if your confronted by the heat.

[Shaman420]

"so another cop pulls up in an SUV like a tough guy, and hes lookin at my ID and hes like, i think this is a fake (i had shorter hair) and i say "dude, its not a fake" and he gets up in my face like "dude? who the fuck do you think you're talkin to?" "
-------------------------

I can't believe you didn't tell that cop the fuck off.. You didn't have anything illegal on you and fuck, you were talking to him, and who the fuck does he think he's talking to?
Have you ever been arrested? Cause I have and I told the cops to fuck off numerous times, along with acting like a belligerent asshole, and I have a nice scar on my head to show for it. If you get arrested or you come in contact with cops dont be an idiot, they WILL throw your ass in jail, and it sucks worse than you know. Listen for your miranda rights cause if they dont say them then you can get your case thrown out when you go to court, and if they do say them then don't say a word without an attorney present. But dont be stupid, theres nothing worse than crooked pig and theres LOTS of them out there, waiting to put kids "in their place".

[PITPAT]

if a cop says that to me i find its helpful to get all nervous and studder.

[FTNW]

In case clicking the link was to much!! ;)

Traffic Stop Scenario
In any given traffic stop, with a few notable exceptions, the below rules will help protect your civil rights and improve your chances of driving away safely—so you don’t have to be a legal expert to say and do the right thing. 1) Keep Your Private Items Out of View
This is common sense: Always keep any private items that you don’t want others to see out of sight. Legally speaking, police do not need a search warrant in order to confiscate any illegal items that are in plain view.

2) Be Courteous & Non-Confrontational
If you are pulled over, the first thing you should to do is turn your car off, turn the dome light on (if it’s nighttime), roll down the window, and keep your hands on the steering wheel. Don’t immediately reach into your glove compartment for your license and registration. Officers want to be able to see your hands for their own safety. Wait until the officer asks to see your paperwork before retrieving your documents.

The first thing you should say to the officer is, “Hello officer. Can you tell me why I am being pulled over?” The officer may give you a hard time or say, “Why do you think I pulled you over?” Tell the officer you don’t know. Most importantly, do not apologize after you get stopped, because that can be considered an admission of guilt and could be used against you later in court.

Show your identification if it’s requested. Be respectful and non-confrontational. Refer to the police as “Sir,” “Ma’am,” or “Officer.” Remain calm and quiet while the officer is reviewing your documents. If the officer writes you a ticket, accept it quietly and never complain. Listen to any instruction on paying the fine or contesting the ticket, and drive away slowly.

3) Just Say “No” to Warrantless Searches
Warning: If a police officer asks your permission to search, you are under no obligation to consent. The only reason he’s asking you is because he doesn’t have enough evidence to search without your consent. If you consent to a search request you give up one of the most important constitutional rights you have—your Fourth Amendment protection against unreasonable searches and seizures.

A majority of avoidable police searches occur because citizens naively waive their Fourth Amendment rights by consenting to warrantless searches. As a general rule, if a person consents to a warrantless search, the search automatically becomes reasonable and therefore legal. Consequently, whatever an officer finds during such a search can be used to convict the person.

Don’t expect a police officer to tell you about your right not to consent. Police officers are not required by law to inform you of your rights before asking you to consent to a search. In addition, police officers are trained to use their authority to get people to consent to a search, and most people are predisposed to comply with any request a police officer makes. For example, the average motorist stopped by a police officer who asks them, “Would you mind if I search your vehicle, please?” will probably consent to the officer’s search without realizing that they have every right to deny the officer’s request.

If, for any reason you don’t want the officer digging through your belongings, you should refuse to consent by saying something like, “Officer, I know you want to do your job, but I do not consent to any searches of my private property.” If the officer still proceeds to search you and finds illegal contraband, your attorney can argue that the contraband was discovered through an illegal search and hence should be thrown out of court.

You should never hesitate to assert your constitutional rights. Just say “no!”

4) Determine if You Can Leave
You have the right to terminate an encounter with a police officer unless you are being detained under police custody or have been arrested. The general rule is that you don't have to answer any questions that the police ask you. This rule comes from the Fifth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which protects you against self-incrimination. If you cannot tell if you are allowed to leave, say to the officer, “I have to be on my way. Am I free to go?”

If the officer says “Yes,” tell him to have a nice day, and leave immediately. If the officer’s answer is ambiguous, or if he asks you another unrelated question, persist by asking “am I being detained, or can I go now?” If the officer says “No,” you are being detained, and you may be placed under arrest. If this is the case, reassert your rights as outlined above, and follow Rules #5 and #6.

5) Do Not Answer Questions without Your Attorney Present
There is no reason to worry that your failure to answer the officer’s questions will later be used against you. The truth is just the opposite: Anything you say can, and probably will, be used against you.

In just about any case imaginable, a person is best off not answering any questions about his involvement in anything illegal. Assert your Fifth and Sixth Amendment rights by saying these exact words: “Officer, I have nothing to say until I speak with a lawyer.”

*Remember- If you do choose to answer any of the officer’s questions, always be honest. Police are not easily tricked and will often become hostile if they feel disrespected. If you feel it is best not to answer truthfully, then don’t say anything at all.

6) Do Not Physically Resist
If the police proceed to detain, search, or arrest you despite your wishes—do not physically resist. You may state clearly but non-confrontationally: “Officer, I am not resisting arrest and I do not consent to any searches.” Or you may assert your rights by simply saying nothing until you can speak with an attorney.

[tinkerbella208]

Or you could say you had been burning incense that happened to smell like marijuana.
Hey i have that kind!! :-D

[keele]

ive got a good one. tell him you were at a party and somebody pulled out bud, started smoking it, and you felt you should be smart and leave, and you were on your way home!!!!
sorry if somebody put this already i didnt read em all

[geckopelli]

As the vetrern of more police shake downs then you can imagine, let me tell you

"turn the dome light on (if it’s nighttime), "

is a no-no. Why do you need light? Lost your pistol in the dark?

Also, "Get out of the way while I search", or "I'm searching the car" in a threatening manner is how most pigs "ask" permission to search.

If you say you're leaving, they'll ask you if you want to be arrested. If you walk away, they'll say you resisted.

This is how they are trained to act, and it is indeed how they do act.

[TreePhiend]

how about, "It's chalk officer I swear!"

[LivingLegends]

.

[Shamrock]

chalk? i dont get it

[soulrebel51]

i think maybe they are talking about coke but I dont know

[DreamWeaver1099]

Hell if its coke they are after just snort it all before pulling over. Its easy, stick the bag to your nose and SNORT.

[Flav_cool]

About the plain view thing...

That is correct, unless the cops see something in "plain view" they do not have reasonable search!

I learned this in law class and there was a case where the cop smelled marijuana and proceeded to search, found hash, was arrested, and went to court.

However the accused won in court because they CANNOT base their search on smell, only on what is in "plain view."

I'm 100% positive about this. What sucks is they don't care until you go to court.

[DreamWeaver1099]

About the plain view thing...

That is correct, unless the cops see something in "plain view" they do not have reasonable search!

I learned this in law class and there was a case where the cop smelled marijuana and proceeded to search, found hash, was arrested, and went to court.

However the accused won in court because they CANNOT base their search on smell, only on what is in "plain view."

I'm 100% positive about this. What sucks is they don't care until you go to court.


So if the car smells like a green house, that still does not give them reason to search?

[Stalkz]

From the song '99 Problems' by Jay-Z

What he was saying that he has no right to search your car if he has no probable cause, or a warrent.

A cop can search you if he has probbable cause or a warrent. Hence, you smell like weed, you get searched.

[MattInVegas]

I never been stopped for a DUI. Speeding, yes. The cops told me, "I've been waiting for YOU all day! With an evil grin on his face. I knew I was gonna get a ticket! All I could think of was "I got here as FAST as I could!" I got a walk!

[Flav_cool]

Didn't you read my post? It can smell like whatever the fuck....I told you there's no law based on smell, only plain view! Well at least that's what its like in Canada, and I dind't say they don't search you but you will win in court if you base your case on the one I told you about.

[Stalkz]

Well I'm talking about america. Ya know, that shitty country down there...

[EddieV1984]

I never been stopped for a DUI. Speeding, yes. The cops told me, "I've been waiting for YOU all day! With an evil grin on his face. I knew I was gonna get a ticket! All I could think of was "I got here as FAST as I could!" I got a walk!
Hahah, thats awesome.

[nhorml]

Dude, if a cop told u that u smell like marijuana...u can basically kiss ur ass goodbye.
just because they smell marijuana does not give them the right to arest its happen to me plenty of times they just say that to try and scare people like you into talking up if they say that its usally followed by do you have and narcotis or weapons in the vehicle then maybe if there is more than one of you he will take you out of the car and try to scare you but just say know he cant search your car when he asks im pretty fucking stoned so that might not make sence but its true

[MagicMedicine]

If there's the smell of marijuana, that's probable cause.

Marijuana smells don't come out of the A/C or the seat.

If they smell it, they can search you.
If you cover it up with an ungodly amount of cologne though, thats b/s if they say its suspicious.

just say you dropped the bottle and it broke. :)

[nhorml]

i dont think so buddy

[keowyn]

Police used to need probable cause to search a vehicle.
THIS IS NO LONGER THE CASE
The Supreme Court has ruled that any traffic stop qualifies as probable cause for a vehicular search and that automobiles are not covered by the 4th amendment. Several states have since changed their laws to conform to these looser standards. For a fact, in New York (where I am from) this has been in affect for 3 years. I have personally discussed this with police oficers who stated that yes, they were doing these searches.
This has recieved very little publicity and most people are not aware of it. The decision was passed 5-4 by the supreme court. God I wish I had written down the name of the case but it is out there for someone to find and post the information. It is not universal yet and still illegal in many states but the precedent has been established.

You are not safe in your car and you are not (necessarily) protected from searches of your vehicle.

[samr]

A cop can't search your car for smelling cannabis. In fact, if a cop pulls you over at night, flip on the dome light to show you're not trying to hide anything.
A cop can search your car no matter what. It's whether or not it holds up in court that is at stake.

[samr]

About the plain view thing...

That is correct, unless the cops see something in "plain view" they do not have reasonable search!

I learned this in law class and there was a case where the cop smelled marijuana and proceeded to search, found hash, was arrested, and went to court.

However the accused won in court because they CANNOT base their search on smell, only on what is in "plain view."

I'm 100% positive about this. What sucks is they don't care until you go to court.That might be just in Canada. I have heard both sides of the smell thing with someone swearing they are right. If someone has a court case or legislation or something for proof I would love to see it. Thanks.

[psilonaut]

or you could just say "i smell bacon, does anyone else smell bacon?" and then your cool friend can say "i definitely smell a pork product of some type"...wayne's world is such a good movie! :)

pure comedy gold!

[MagicMedicine]

lol, seriously, we need to find out what the law REALLY is.
probable cause is such a loose word.

[Small_Brown]

I've only smoked a few times, and once after sharin 2 bowls with 2 friends, we jumped in the car and just drove around like usual. My friends had to leave early, so I was just walkin around town mindin my own business. A cop pulls up on the opposite side of the road..he says hey come over here, so I did (didnt wanna piss him off). He asked me what i was doin out so late. I said I'm just takin a walk, enjoying the air. He kinda looked at me and said do I smell marijuana? I just said yeah, and? Hes like just go home and dont bother anyone.

It helps when you live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else and cops are cool :)

[DreamWeaver1099]

Police used to need probable cause to search a vehicle.
THIS IS NO LONGER THE CASE
The Supreme Court has ruled that any traffic stop qualifies as probable cause for a vehicular search and that automobiles are not covered by the 4th amendment. Several states have since changed their laws to conform to these looser standards. For a fact, in New York (where I am from) this has been in affect for 3 years. I have personally discussed this with police oficers who stated that yes, they were doing these searches.
This has recieved very little publicity and most people are not aware of it. The decision was passed 5-4 by the supreme court. God I wish I had written down the name of the case but it is out there for someone to find and post the information. It is not universal yet and still illegal in many states but the precedent has been established.

You are not safe in your car and you are not (necessarily) protected from searches of your vehicle.

All the more reason to run :D

[Flav_cool]

Samr, I could look back in my binder and give you the name of the case, and find some documentation on it on the internet.