bi

[jesikhaviolet]

why do people care about you being bi in a relationship? just cos i'm bi, a girl might finish with me - why? either way, i still (probably) like her! i really don't get it. most people are ok, but i think the ones who aren't just a bit daft

[Borgy]

I understand what you meen! I'm bi but i cant say, if i go out with a boy if a say i'm bi most of the times he ditches me and the other way round if i'm with a girl and she finds out i'm bi she also finishes with me!
And i say what do they care weather i'm gay or hetero if i'm with a girl i'm as good as any other boy and the same happens with a guy!!!!! Don't understand!

[PhotoGra1]

I sympathize with both of you, but I do understand. They can't compete with that. In other words, I could never be your woman...

It would make me a little uneasy, but I think I would get over it. Try not discussing your sexuality too much, just focus on the one you are with...thats my only advice.

Good luck to you both.

[SkeeterVT]

I understand what you meen! I'm bi but i cant say, if i go out with a boy if a say i'm bi most of the times he ditches me and the other way round if i'm with a girl and she finds out i'm bi she also finishes with me!
And i say what do they care weather i'm gay or hetero if i'm with a girl i'm as good as any other boy and the same happens with a guy!!!!! Don't understand!
Unfortunately, sexual-orientation bias cuts both ways. I know from over 11 years of experience since I came out bi that heterophobia does exist among some gay people, particularly the radical "queer separatists." Indeed, the latter can be just as vicious as their homophobic straight counterparts (And it really infuriates me just how much in denial they are of their prejudices).

But there's also the much-more-prevasive bias against anyone -- regardless of their sexual orientation -- who is non-monogamous or is perceived as being non-monogamous.

Many people assume that bisexuals, by their nature of being bi, are non-monogamous (Or, as I prefer to call it, polyamorous). That's certainly true in my case, but I've always been polyamorous throughout my adult life, irrespective of my earlier exclusive gayness before I turned 40 and my bi-ness since then. And I will remain polyamorous for the rest of my life.

One would think that bisexuality and polyamory go together like salt and pepper on your breakfast eggs. But not all bisexuals are polyamorous. Many bi people -- especially bi women -- practice "serial monogamy" -- one partner at a time, per relationship (A boyfriend in one relationship, a girlfriend in the next).

There is a woman whom I've known and have been a close friend with for seven years who is bisexual. I love her dearly and she knows it. She, in turn, knows that I'm bi and polyamorous. To date, though, she's not comfortable with our friendship going to the next level. Why? She insists that I give up my boyfriend of nearly 20 years, whom I also love dearly. Naturally, I refuse. So we're at a stalemate.

Frustrating, isn't it?

-- Skeeter

[solar_eclipse]

heeeheee - I'm so lucky. My fiance and I are BOTH bi!

[Duncan]

I sympathize with both of you, but I do understand. They can't compete with that. In other words, I could never be your woman...

It would make me a little uneasy, but I think I would get over it. Try not discussing your sexuality too much, just focus on the one you are with...thats my only advice.

Good luck to you both.
This is the correct answer. You need go no further. PhotoGra1 is very enlightened !

[Borgy]

Unfortunately, sexual-orientation bias cuts both ways. I know from over 11 years of experience since I came out bi that heterophobia does exist among some gay people, particularly the radical "queer separatists." Indeed, the latter can be just as vicious as their homophobic straight counterparts (And it really infuriates me just how much in denial they are of their prejudices).

But there's also the much-more-prevasive bias against anyone -- regardless of their sexual orientation -- who is non-monogamous or is perceived as being non-monogamous.

Many people assume that bisexuals, by their nature of being bi, are non-monogamous (Or, as I prefer to call it, polyamorous). That's certainly true in my case, but I've always been polyamorous throughout my adult life, irrespective of my earlier exclusive gayness before I turned 40 and my bi-ness since then. And I will remain polyamorous for the rest of my life.

One would think that bisexuality and polyamory go together like salt and pepper on your breakfast eggs. But not all bisexuals are polyamorous. Many bi people -- especially bi women -- practice "serial monogamy" -- one partner at a time, per relationship (A boyfriend in one relationship, a girlfriend in the next).

There is a woman whom I've known and have been a close friend with for seven years who is bisexual. I love her dearly and she knows it. She, in turn, knows that I'm bi and polyamorous. To date, though, she's not comfortable with our friendship going to the next level. Why? She insists that I give up my boyfriend of nearly 20 years, whom I also love dearly. Naturally, I refuse. So we're at a stalemate.

Frustrating, isn't it?

-- Skeeter
Well I'm bi and i like to have one relationship at a time. For me men and women are the same; it's like for example for a hetero all women are women and he goes for them and goes our with them depending on thier fisic or thier personallity. Well i do the same i like someone for who he/she is no matter what there is between his legs!! For me there are no difrences!!

[Disarm]

Well I'm bi and i like to have one relationship at a time. For me men and women are the same; it's like for example for a hetero all women are women and he goes for them and goes our with them depending on thier fisic or thier personallity. Well i do the same i like someone for who he/she is no matter what there is between his legs!! For me there are no difrences!!
Me too!

Me and my boy have found a few problems about me being bi, for one he gets a bit freaked that I'll get horny and feel like sex with a girl, not a guy (which would bring up some..err..colourful solutions). Also I'm into the idea of a 3some and stuff like that, so that sounds a bit bad if you combine a paranoid mind with a bisexual who's into 3somes. It's not necessarily competing but him feeling he just doesn't have what I want. It's not like that at all, but I completely understand how he feels sometimes.

[jesikhaviolet]

the thing is - i'm just as likely to cheat on someone if i was completely straight or completely gay.. there's nothing to be scared of but the usual things to be scared of.