labels

[Sunburst]

It makes me sad, this happens with relion/faith, as well as sexual orientation. So many people spend years trying to decide if they're gay, bi, or straight. I thinm you should not worry about WHAT you are, but BE WHO you are. Don't let the labels hold you back! Do what you do, what you feel, don't worry abouyt what to call it.

[Sunburst]

It makes me sad, this happens with religion/faith, as well as sexual orientation. So many people spend years trying to decide if they're gay, bi, or straight. I thinm you should not worry about WHAT you are, but BE WHO you are. Don't let the labels hold you back! Do what you do, what you feel, don't worry about what to call it.

[Defence_mechanism]

u know, i think that's a quality that most gay people understand and would appreciate, because they've had to deal with/think about gender and sexuality a lot in order to figure themselves out.

it's a shame that straight people dont (generally) have the same self-awareness when it comes to sexuality.we'd be a whole lot happier as a human race if we all understood the meaningless and destruction of labelling oneself.

[veinglory]

Restrictive labelling isn't universal, there is the 'queer' crowd who are just open to offered from anyone willing to take no as the answer.

[Legend]

Well Personally, Im Happy To Have A Label, Im Bi-Sexual! I Dont Know How To Explain It Properly... But I Believe That Labels Are Good!

[butterfly]

So true, then no one would feel like they had to conform to those labels....there'd be no angst about trying to find a label that fits you, so everyone can just get straight down to what matters!

[Snowdancer]

I see you are 15. Believe it or not I still remember back when I was 15. Don't let them tell you that all drugs will completely destroy your brain. :p

At 15, anyhow when I was, peoples lables were more important to soo many people than the people themselves. Over the years that doesn't really get better for everyone but as you age you care less what other people think. Anyhow I did. You will find more people who fit into the lable that you do & it is more easy do just ignore the ones that don't like your lable.

I am a long haired bi male who prefers to wear skirts, dresses, sarongs, & kilts. Talk about a lable target. There are some who are so confused that they can't figure out what to think. Even many GLBT people. I don't necessarily attempt to look female nor do I ever want to remove any of my parts. I have meat many who just can't comprehend that. I feel pity for the people who can't open their mind enough to realize that we don't need lables to be who we are.

I'm turning into a ranting old hippy again, sorry. What I really wanted to say is that the best thing you can do & be is yourself & accept yourself for who you are. If there are some who can't handle that it is really their problem not yours.

[King Dante]

I like the whole idea of just being you but the problem is WHO ARE YOU?! It takes time to descover your self identity and one big part of self identity is your sexuality. And as a teenager and young adult your sexuality can change sometimes more than once. Gay, straight, or bi are just labels that you put on yourself or others and sometimes they can really hurt but sometimes lables are necessary. I think rather than discarding these labels we should work on making these labels (all of them) socially acceptable.

[Legend]

I Believe Labels Are Good! I Mentioned That In Another Post Here Somewhere! A Label Helps People Identify Themselves! If You Are Not Gay, Bi Or Straight Or Whatever Other Labels Are, What Are You??? An "It"! Not Identifying Your Sexuallity Can Make You More Confused!

[Sunburst]

It makes me so sad though, to see people stressing to finds a label for themselves, what are they? Femme, butch, lesbian, gay, bi, bi but certain preferenced, straight, or curious? Just let what you feel happen, don't worry about what you are, just allow yourself to be free.

[tourmaline]

your unfettered idealism makes me somewhat sick....
no offence

for me, a label was the very thing i needed to be free, i could say, fuck you all, i'm gay, and i became what i was... i was able to say to a friend of mine, i am gay and they would understand....

if we were to take your thoery to an extreme we could view all language as labels for material/emotional/mental things (which they are by the way) and say that there should be no language because it doesn't allow the things it describes to be 'free'

labels - symbols - and therefor language helps communication - these sociological 'labels' as you call them are a form of communication within a society, wether we like that system is irrelevant, because that is the one society uses, and always has... of course this is only in the realm of communicating on the material plane, and i don't endorse the idea that communication is only possible on this level.

[Jonny6]

Labels ah 4 cans.

http://www.lib.vt.edu/services/forms/cans-l.gif

[monosphere]

But there are to many people out there who will rely on labels to define themselves without really finding out who they are. Then they try to change for the sake of fitting into that label or group, rather than letting themselves be themselves. By no means am I saying that everyone is like this, but you know there are a lot of people out there who are. Labels might be fine for some, but they can also be inhibiting and possibly damaging.

Not only that, but some who hide behind labels might only be noticed for said label. I don't want to be known as Mono the Bisexual. I'm more than that. I'm Mono the Musician, Mono the Candlemaker, Mono the Nature Walker, Mono the Activist, Mono the Bungy Jumper, etc.

That's why I prefer the term non-discriminating in regards to gender.

Mono

[RxHEAD]

Myself, I prefer to shy away from labels for myself. I have had sex and relationships with both genders. Both genders had an impact on my life. Though attracted to Men over Women, I don't wish to be called gay, and on the same note, my ability to have sex with either gender, I don't wish to lable myself as bi sexual. I guess I lable my self as having alternative romantic intrests.

I within myself really don' t have a problem telling myself a label, only when someone I meet who is straight, they do not introduce themselves as so and do not lable the type of man/woman which they seek or prefer when we first meet. Why should I put myself out with a lable to them as the lable may mean one thing to me mysself, though the person automaticaly pictures me as what they have fixed into their mind of what a 'gay' person is or what a 'bisexual' person is. I want them to see me not my sexual prefrence. Not what they think I should be as a lable.

Life is so much more than gay or straight - why take it one step further and make it any more complicated than what life already is today.

[cauan]

People, I'm in doubt about this one thing, why do we keep giving names to our sexuality...I am not gay, I am not bi and not even straight...it happens that when I want to I have sex with guys I do and when I want to I have sex with girls it's just the same and so what? Do I need to label myself?
Do you think labels are valid for sexuality matters?
How many of you think gay or bi people should come out?
Why this comming out thing turned to be so big and important, can't we just be free live it and happy telling people what we want about ourselves and treating this whole sexuality thing as it was supposed to be and that is naturaly.

That's all folks...it's just a question, I am sorry if I miswrote some of the words, it happens that I'm lazy to correct and English isn't my first language.

1000 Kisses and big hugs.

[cacophony]

i completely and totally agree with you. i bounced between labels for a while but never felt comfortable with any of them because a label is nothing but a set of rules. if you're straight, you can't be attracted to people of the same sex. if you're gay, you can't be attracted to people of the opposite sex. if you're bi, you have to be equally attracted to both sexes at all times. not to mention all the secondary rules, like if you're straight you don't go to gay bars and if you're gay you have to "look gay" and if you're a gay guy you have to act feminine, decorate, and dress in high fashion and if you're a lesbian you have to be a tomboy, a man-hater, an artist or a radical feminist...
sexuality is too fluid to put into a box like that. i firmly believe that sexuality evolves and changes as the individual does. there are times where i've been truly attracted to only men and times when i've been truly attracted to only women, and times when i've been truly attracted to both or neither.
going without a label is (considering our culture's fixation with labels) remarkably easy. nobody i've encountered has had any trouble understanding me when i explain it to them. i encourage everyone to just stop calling themselves gay or straight, or even bi. once you get rid of the label, all sexual confusion can be happily thrown out the window. it makes everything so much easier and makes so much more sense.

[interval_illusion]

word.

they're just labels.

im attrached to whomever i am attrached to and even though i call myself bi, i know that is just a label.

[veinglory]

Labels tell the buyer what is in the box. They can be liberating or restricting depending how you use them.

[Manolao]

I also thinks that such labels are wrong and not exaustive...

just try to a have a look at the queer theory, maybe on the wikipedia...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer_theory

:)

hugs!!!!

[rocknroll_girl]

Labels tell the buyer what is in the box. They can be liberating or restricting depending how you use them.
Precisely. Human sexuality is tremendously variant, but not so complicated that we can't attempt to explain it. Event taking into account that there are more than two sexes, and more than two "forms" of sexual attraction, the number of combinations is not way beyond a few convenient identifications.

I've thought it over for four or five years, and I am so emotionally and sexually attracted to women that I feel as though I will need to be with a woman to be complete...embracing "lesbian" is more of a spiritual thing, and it is liberating.

It's different for everyone, of course! Labels can be incredibly restrictive. That seems to be the case for you, in which case, definitely don't give them a second thought. If you feel best without any description, then by all means, don't worry.

[cauan]

You guys and girls are just so amazing...would luv to meet u one of these days...
thanx people, every single thing you said 'till now have really helped me think about it more clearly.
I first asked you cuz I can feel it as very restrictive, but as soon as I read the buyer quote I sort of started seeing the other colors of ths spectrum.
It doesn't mean tha I totally agree, I still don't at least in my case, but I will certanly think two or more times before stating anything simillar.
thank you guys and girls.

1000 kisses and hugs - in Brazil we usually finish our letters sending kisses or things like that.

[Bloody_Kisses]

i hate labels. i also hate that people put such emphasis on sexuality. why can we all just be who we want to be without being looked down on and ridiculed?

[butterfly]

I totally agree. I guess those sort of labels are useful now, so you know who you're dealing with, but maybe one day we can just forget them, when everyone realises that they can just like whoever. If all the labels were removed completely then it would be, just, go with whoever you happen to like at that time, no restrictions, and no one would feel the need to comply with one label. BLISS!

[peaceful420]

That's totally true. What people see you as doesn't have to be a single label. You don't have to label yourself in any way. Feel proud of who you are and of your feelings. Love is free, man. Don't let other people label you and knock you down. Labels are for cans, not people.

[Mui]

a label isnt much of something you put on yourself, as much as it is as something people (or society) puts on you... because words are so very relative... we can all think different things from labels... what matters is your actions and whats really going on in your life, not what some label is supposed to mean.

[WalrusKeeper]

A label is a semantic indicator; it is both harmless and necessary - when applied and revised by oneself.

I say I'm gay - that doesn't mean I'd never end up with a woman, just that I figure I am readily identifiable as a usually leaning in one direction.

Societal labels can be ignored. Make your own.

[maryjaneguitargurl]

Because people are dumb and want to be in groups.. IM ALL ALONE NOT IN A GROUP ...ehehe


peace
chickens

[cauan]

That's the other point. Labels are usually supposed to identify and put people together in groups of "this" or "that". I believe it cannot be done with something as subjective as sexuality, even though it is harmless it's just not a real thing, we're always more than just a man, just a guy, just a gay, gust a black girl or whatever, and that's my point. I also agree when its said that labels are not things put by you, but things the others put on you to justify their attitude towards you...at least that's the way it's been working in our society...I don't know..I'm just all confused about this matter. I see how valid it is to label yourself as "something" sexually speaking when discrimination is the rule, but I also believe that it could happen in any other way. I'm a black guy, so I do know the value of stating yourself as a black person, it is valid cuz then people are sure you are not prejudicious about who you are nonetheless I see that with sexuality things happen in another spectrum of conceptions.Wow i hope I made myself clear...

[RazorBladeKist]

Hi.
First off I'd just like to say that I am a new member here, but I did belong to the forums a while ago (as Vicious), and Rocknroll girl, I remember you, and you still Rawk...I see the Goddess Ani is still in your sig.

You know, I have been having this exact problem as of late. Mostly, because I am almost always sexually attracted to men. Always, occasionally a female will catch my eye, but it is a rare occasion, and usually there is an emotional attraction first. The reason I've been having so much trouble with this issue lately, is because I've fallen in love with a woman...My dear friend..whom over the past year I have developed an extremely powerful spiritual bond. Our relationship transcends gender and sexuality. Because of the deep emotional connection I feel toward her, I am also sexually attracted to her.
Does this make me bisexual? No.
Does this make me heterocurious? No.
It makes me Sexual, it makes me Human.
And that is my take on it for now..though I must admit...my takes have a way of changing...

*with silver kisses from steel blades*
-Vic
^v^

[Stalkz]

I posted something in another thread a few seconds ago and it applies perfectly here so I'll quote myself.


Just let the bi/gay/strait labels go and just go on what you're attracted to at that very time.

I don't tell people I'm bisexual or gay or strait, but I've been attracted to guys and girls. It's a person to person thing not for me, not a male or female thing.

If you're attracted to a girl some time in the future don't call it suddenly being bi again, just... attracted to someone new. Don't let someones sex determine whether you want to screw them/date them/live with them/marry them. Both sexes have their ups and downs.
Defining ANYTHING about yourself specifically restricts you to that one thing. If you call yourself gay and you're one day suddenly attracted to a girl, (and are a guy), then you're a hypocrite, and not gay anymore. Now you're bisexual.

or you could just not give it a name and go with whoever moves you at the time. It's the same as with religion or political views. If you call yourself Christian and start finding things within the bible that you disagree with then you're a bad christian and probably have to pick a new religion. If you just take ideas from wherever you find them and add them to your OWN beliefs, then you can add and subtract from them whenever you want.

[meishka]

societty demands lables. if we didn't have lables we could all live in harmony.

[veinglory]

Harmony and confusion. Finding a sexual partner would depend entirely on trial and error as nobody would be able to describe their gender or orientation.

[monosphere]

I don't necessarily think that labels are bad themselves, but there are too many people who try to fit a certain label/stereotype/whatever in order to try to define themselves and lose some of their individuality in the process. That's where the labels can be a nuisance, in my opinion.

[Samhain]

this subject is further explored in the transexual and transgendered forum
http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=189103