he's going to die

[headymoechick]

this isn't really my confession but I didn't know where else to put it besides the opiates forum.

my friend is badly addicted to herion. I think we'll bury him for it. One of these days he won't come out of the bathroom. His wife doesn't know, but I don't know if it's any of my business to tell her. I don't even know of she would care. She's an awful mean cold hearted selfish bitch and I now realize that's why he is with her and not any of the other girls he could have that would make him happy. But maybe she would. I don't know. I don't want to fuck up the whole friendship by telling her. But I don't want to see him die.

Then again maybe he's not doing too much because I don't know that much about herion and doses.

[Hikaru Zero]

this isn't really my confession but I didn't know where else to put it besides the opiates forum.

my friend is badly addicted to herion. I think we'll bury him for it. One of these days he won't come out of the bathroom. His wife doesn't know, but I don't know if it's any of my business to tell her. I don't even know of she would care. She's an awful mean cold hearted selfish bitch and I now realize that's why he is with her and not any of the other girls he could have that would make him happy. But maybe she would. I don't know. I don't want to fuck up the whole friendship by telling her. But I don't want to see him die.

Then again maybe he's not doing too much because I don't know that much about herion and doses.

Heroin is probably the toughest drug to get unaddicted from out there. I haven't tried it, but supposedly it's like being wrapped in the biggest, warmest, most comfortable blanket ever made ... one that is barely imaginable. At least that's what I've been told. It also takes more to get high on heroin each time you shoot up ... which means each time you need more and more to get the same effect; it eventually turns into a money-hog. Kind of sucks ... =(

You should really try to get your friend off of heroin ... maybe get him into another drug, at least for now, and wean him off. Ask him to try other psychoactives ... maybe he'll like Kratom or Salvia divinorum, or DMT; those are relatively harmless, much cheaper, and Salvia and DMT have been known to be two of the "most powerful" psychoactives known to man, though there are as many skeptics of those labels as there are supporters. Perhaps get him into exploring his consciousness rather than just feeling good ... if he's got a decent brain, he might actually be interested.

Good luck with that ...

[headymoechick]

yeah, he's got unlimited amounts of funds and lots of drugs to choose from. THis is his choice. He loves opiates. He generally doesn't like to trip or explore his mind because it reveals how unhappy he really is. When he's dopey, life is just fuzzy. my boyfriend and I are the only people in his life that don't do opiates excessively. He is surrounded. He has the means to do anything he could possibly think of. how anyone would choose that is completely beyond me.

What saddens me the most is that he already went through 3 days of withdrawl and just a few more would have kicked the physical side effects. Then he just needs love and support to get through the psychological addiction. But the minute we were back in town, he practically got into an accident trying to get to his friend's house to grab a bundle or two. Why? I don't understand. How can something be worth it when it ruins everything else in your life? He used to hate herion addicts because all they did was steal from him to get their fix. Now he's friends with all the people that robbed him. I just don't understand.

[Duck]

everyone dies

[JohnnyATL]

try to get him to ween himself off of it or somthing like go to oxys and then like hydrocodones and then to like maybe the actual opium plant

[headymoechick]

I know everyone dies but that doesn't mean that I want to find my friend lying on the bathroom floor dead with a needle stuck inside of him

Was it really neccesary to say that?

Anyway, there's nothing I can do. I can talk to him and tell him I love him and care about him, but everyone in this town shoots dope. And the reason he got this far was from an oxy addiction in the first place. He would have to take tons to ween himself off. and he's not strong enough to do it. He's a grown man, I can't lock him in a room and make him understand that he could have anything he wants and he'll lose it all if he continues. He's seen people die from herion. He's seen all of his friends steal from him to get money for dope. He knows what it does to people. And he does it anyway. This is what he wants and I can't stop him. He's a big boy. He knows what he's doing. I almost wonder if he's TRYING to kill himself.

[moonshyne]

We know a LOT of people around here who have been hooked on oxycontin. They melt it down and shoot it up, that's some nasty shit. And it seems like every one of them have a near death story to tell.

Sprout's mom was hooked on morphine, and it almost killed her. She was actually dead when the paramedics got there, and they gave her some kind of adrenaline shot in her neck that brought her back. She got 3 days worth of rehab after that, and they let her go. she went right back to it (though she claims she's clean now....it's hard to know, because she moved out of state after that incident.)

It's sad. Even shit like dying won't make these people quit usually. I'm sorry to hear about your friends situation, and I hope he can clear things up soon before things get too bad.

Good luck to you.

[headymoechick]

thanks I need it.

Just another dumbass friend I have to deal with. too bad that this is one of them I actually liked!

[Duck]

I know everyone dies but that doesn't mean that I want to find my friend lying on the bathroom floor dead with a needle stuck inside of him

If he doesn't care why should you? Let him live how he wants to.

[JohnnyATL]

because love is better than heroin will ever be
not to heroin abusers, they would rather have the needle any day over love. They think all the love from the needle is 10x better than anything a human can give them. read naked lunch

[headymoechick]

Duck, you shouldn't guve advice on things you're too immature to understand. I feel sorry for anyone who is your friend. I would hope that if the situation were reversed, someone would care enough about me to at least tell me that if I don't stop, I'm going to die.

So if your friend was speeding down a road, headed towards a cliff, you would say whatever, why should I care, I should let them do whatever he wants?

I'm going to make an assumption here and guess that you've never buried a close friend. I on the other hand buried my very best friend not too long ago and I'm not ready to do it again.

[Duck]

Duck, you shouldn't guve advice on things you're too immature to understand. I feel sorry for anyone who is your friend. I would hope that if the situation were reversed, someone would care enough about me to at least tell me that if I don't stop, I'm going to die.Just because I have different ideology doesn't make me immature. I'm sure your friend realizes the risk. Are you saying your friend is stupid?

So if your friend was speeding down a road, headed towards a cliff, you would say whatever, why should I care, I should let them do whatever he wants?Only if it was his choice
I'm going to make an assumption here and guess that you've never buried a close friend. I on the other hand buried my very best friend not too long ago and I'm not ready to do it again. Hell, I buried my Dad cause of diabetes due to drinking.

I don't want to argue or anything. Obviously you feel strongly about your friend, I just want to say good luck. It takes lots of guts to confront people with addictions and I don't want to discourage you. Do what you want, I should not interfere (that would kinds be hypocrytical of me)
P.S. You shouldn't just isult people for have different thoughts on a subject (I do it to, but it is kinda wrong)

[headymoechick]

I'm sorry if you felt I was insulting you, but you were being quite insensitive and well, immature about it. I know you're young and that doesn't make you stupid, just ignorant to certian things and I think this is one of them. I mean that in an honest way, not a mean way. I certainly didn't know anything about having a friend shoot herion at that age. Up until now I had friends who did herion but not like this. I know that I can't stop him, I pointed that out, I just don't want anything to happen to him, and sit thinking I could have told Courtney, I could have told his mom, I just let him die. I've got enough emotional problems without feeling like I killed my friend. and yes, he IS stupid. He's got all the money a person could ask for and he chooses to hang around with losers, married a total bitch, and is throwing his life away. So yeah, I really think he is a dumbass. He's got a great personality and could date any girl he wanted and could have any cool friend in the world. It's very sad.

Thanks for wishing me luck though.

[Crystaleyez]

Get him in treatment. How could his wife possibly not know? She prolly does love him, maybe you should tell her. I lost two friends to heroin, methadone actually, they weren't even adults yet. Marissa was only 14 when some asshole got her hooked and started screwing her, he was like 25. She was a really good musician. If I could go back and slap em and somehow get them into treatment I would. Tis too late.

[seamonster66]

I went through a major phase with it, and most of my friends at the time stopped hanging around me/didn't know what to do about it. The best thing you can do is not abandon this person, keep visitng him regularly etc.

When you get into this world, its easy to find yourself surrounded by nothing but junkies...no contact with the "other" world..just being his friend and not being one could be the lifeline he needs.

Its true that no one will quit until they want to...for me it didn't take rehab. just a few scary experiences.. haven't done any since early 1999.

Some people mentioned substituting other drugs. but I don't hink that would work. When you are doing heroin it kind of makes most other drugs seem trivial..heroin feels very deep inside you, kind of spells out how you will be, how you will act.

[drumminmama]

there was some talk of MDMA as a therapy for opiate addiction in the late 80s.
chat with the wife. figure out what she knows. then be ready to make the decision to alert authorities (which will get him in rehab and in a ton of legal hassle) or take whatever happens.
If the wife is clueless, tell her what's up. She lives with him, I'd guess and should know what is in her home.

[seamonster66]

quote: then be ready to make the decision to alert authorities (which will get him in rehab and in a ton of legal hassle) or take whatever happens.


thats terrible advice..NEVER get police involved.

[HappyJoy]

i agree, dont tell the cops. i had a herion problem not too long ago, thats the last thing someone needs. he needs to know how much you care about him. you have to make him realize that there is so much better for his life. it will NOT be easy. i stopped because my friends and family started realizing what i was doing and they supported me getting better and helped me realize that i deserved better than that life, instead of hating me and never talking to me again. a herion addict goes to herion for comfort. and it is (they believe) the best comfort they could ever feel. you have to figure out a way to get him clean and to stay clean. they have i new drug called suboxil (sp?). it weans you off dope, but you cant get addicted to it like morphine. they are MIRACLE pills. you cant get high while you're on them, either. it's relatively new, so you might have trouble finding places that have the programs, and even if you do, they usually have at least a 30 day waiting list. i got some from a friend, i didnt go through the program, but i'll tell you what, it saved my life. withdrawal is the worst thing i've ever experienced, and i didnt even shoot it, i snorted it. even if a herion addict wants to quit, they cant because they're so terrified of withdraw. talk to him about it. see if he even wants to quit. if there's a glimmer of hope, dont give up on him. let him know he's worth so much more than that shit.

[Myranya]

Talking to his wife may be a good start if you can't talk him into taking treatment.

[StonerBill]

Headymoe, stop making out like your above everyone, more mature, more intelligent, more asshat (on the forums generally). you cant tell duck hes immature or ignorant, you are the one coming here for advice, saying you have no idea of waht to do or even of how serious the situation is. his oppinion was insensitive, but not uninitelligent, or ignorant, or immature. youre only 19!!!


drug abuse doesnt correlate to intelligence. at all. its about self control, and for almost all of us, this means going with your feelings and with the thigns that make you feel good.

a person will be addicted to a drug because a) it makes them feel good, from teh feeling of trhe drug, and the distancing from something that is personally-specific, and b) if they dont take it, they will feel like absolute shit, pain, and even though it wouldnt be a B if there wasnt the A, its still the case in addicts.

if you want to help him, tlak to him. you cant expect US to know his reasons for getting so heavily into drugs. how the fuck would we know? you need to talk to him. you might learn something.

just dont go labelling people stupid, if you are the one who doesnt know anything about it

a heroin addict will practically never get out of his habit unles someone interviens, or they run out of money and get arrested or killed in trying to get more dope.

you need to tell his wife. hell, she probably knows, but if she doesnt, then you might tarnish your friendship but you might save his life! or do you consider your status as more important?

[headymoechick]

what are you talking about "my staus"?

and why do you think that post helps at all.

he's really in trouble now and the first thing I see is this.

all you accomplished is making me feel like shit.

[headymoechick]

be a man and respond. I'm too pissed off to let this go. I find out my friend is in the fucking hospital and now I find some guy shooting his mouth off.

Seriously, you just had to make your point, now back it up.

[mystical_shroom]

Headymoe, stop making out like your above everyone, more mature, more intelligent, more asshat (on the forums generally). you cant tell duck hes immature or ignorant, you are the one coming here for advice, saying you have no idea of waht to do or even of how serious the situation is. his oppinion was insensitive, but not uninitelligent, or ignorant, or immature. youre only 19!!!


drug abuse doesnt correlate to intelligence. at all. its about self control, and for almost all of us, this means going with your feelings and with the thigns that make you feel good.

a person will be addicted to a drug because a) it makes them feel good, from teh feeling of trhe drug, and the distancing from something that is personally-specific, and b) if they dont take it, they will feel like absolute shit, pain, and even though it wouldnt be a B if there wasnt the A, its still the case in addicts.

if you want to help him, tlak to him. you cant expect US to know his reasons for getting so heavily into drugs. how the fuck would we know? you need to talk to him. you might learn something.

just dont go labelling people stupid, if you are the one who doesnt know anything about it

a heroin addict will practically never get out of his habit unles someone interviens, or they run out of money and get arrested or killed in trying to get more dope.

you need to tell his wife. hell, she probably knows, but if she doesnt, then you might tarnish your friendship but you might save his life! or do you consider your status as more important?headymoe doesnt think she is ever above everyone else and that really has nothing to do with this thread anyways so your just trying to start something..and btw she apologized to duck so you are just bringing it back up...
and that last statement was pretty shitty and ignorant on your part...

[headymoechick]

whatever.

this situation from yesterday put me in an awful mood

think whatever you want

I hope you really feel better about yourself anyway

[interval_illusion]

yeah i would honestly suggest him just smoking some opium itself to wean himself off or talk him into going to rehab or maybe getting methadon to wean off.

good luck... people addicted to h is really really sad. my husband was addicted to it for almost two years.... this was seven years ago and he had finally went to rehab (twice, ran away the first time) and hasnt done it in seven years now. it was tough for him though. heroin withdrawl is really really painful.

[interval_illusion]

whatever.

this situation from yesterday put me in an awful mood

think whatever you want

I hope you really feel better about yourself anyway

and geez.. people are assholes. ignore that idiot. :)

[StonerBill]

I pm back to headjobchick but since its a discussed issue here ill post it here too


"
lets see hmm thrown insults.. cant see any..



i was telling you of how you have, from the posts ive seen, acted as if your above the people you are posting to.



in terms of how valid that is, i got reputation from someone (not duck) telling me that it was good someone said this to you.



Besides that, i inferred an extension on the above in the last sentance.



Unless you are denying what vie been saying is true, then i dont see a problem. do you consider yourself to be a modest, humble, passive person?



And in terms of me being only 17, it doesnt change the situation at all, i dont pretend to be an adult looking down on younger teenagers



lets have a look at your posts:



Then again maybe he's not doing too much because I don't know that much about herion and doses.



ok so first off we establish that you dont know what the situation is. so, you are asking other people for advice.



Why? I don't understand. How can something be worth it when it ruins everything else in your life? He used to hate herion addicts because all they did was steal from him to get their fix. Now he's friends with all the people that robbed him. I just don't understand.



again, a statement of questioning and not understanding.



ok thats established then



Just another dumbass friend I have to deal with. too bad that this is one of them I actually liked!



yet you call this guy you care for so much a dumbass, even though you dont have any idea of how his mind is working?



I know you're young and that doesn't make you stupid, just ignorant to certian things and I think this is one of them.



umm yeh, maybe realise that you are not much older, and you are the one who doesnt understand your own issue, let alone someone else's over the internet





I certainly didn't know anything about having a friend shoot herion at that age.



well neither do you really, the way you keep referring to your relationship with questions of 'why does he do this' and 'i dont understand!'



I've got enough emotional problems without feeling like I killed my friend.



yes of course because your emotional problems are SO important compared to issues concerning your friend dying.





and yes, he IS stupid. He's got all the money a person could ask for and he chooses to hang around with losers, married a total bitch, and is throwing his life away. So yeah, I really think he is a dumbass. He's got a great personality and could date any girl he wanted and could have any cool friend in the world. It's very sad.




hes stupid? excuse me, you have no idea about why he hangs out with those people, or why hes married to that woman, or why hes throwing his life away. you are jduging him by your own standards, when you have admitted multiple times to not knowing anything about his motives.



as you said, you really THINK hes a dumbass. whether he is or isnt is not for you to judge until you have an idea of why he lives like that. he probably is a dumbass, but you dont talk to him about it, so you cant judge it. you can say 'i think hes doing the wrong thing' but not 'hes a fuckin dumbas'





now im not saying im perfect, but i think this clears up why i made the statements i did



I gave me constructive critisism. if you couldnt construct anything with it, dont get angry with me!



besides, my last comment was very valid and has not been adressed. you dont want to talk to his wife because of your friendship, so tehrefor you put your status in his chain of relationships higher importance than trying to save his life. if it was casual use then sure, keep a secret, but when you think it might be the end of it, then dont you think his life is more important than your pride?

"

[mystical_shroom]

I pm back to headjobchick but since its a discussed issue here ill post it here too


"
lets see hmm thrown insults.. cant see any..



i was telling you of how you have, from the posts ive seen, acted as if your above the people you are posting to.



in terms of how valid that is, i got reputation from someone (not duck) telling me that it was good someone said this to you.



Besides that, i inferred an extension on the above in the last sentance.



Unless you are denying what vie been saying is true, then i dont see a problem. do you consider yourself to be a modest, humble, passive person?



And in terms of me being only 17, it doesnt change the situation at all, i dont pretend to be an adult looking down on younger teenagers



lets have a look at your posts:







ok so first off we establish that you dont know what the situation is. so, you are asking other people for advice.







again, a statement of questioning and not understanding.



ok thats established then







yet you call this guy you care for so much a dumbass, even though you dont have any idea of how his mind is working?







umm yeh, maybe realise that you are not much older, and you are the one who doesnt understand your own issue, let alone someone else's over the internet









well neither do you really, the way you keep referring to your relationship with questions of 'why does he do this' and 'i dont understand!'







yes of course because your emotional problems are SO important compared to issues concerning your friend dying.









hes stupid? excuse me, you have no idea about why he hangs out with those people, or why hes married to that woman, or why hes throwing his life away. you are jduging him by your own standards, when you have admitted multiple times to not knowing anything about his motives.



as you said, you really THINK hes a dumbass. whether he is or isnt is not for you to judge until you have an idea of why he lives like that. he probably is a dumbass, but you dont talk to him about it, so you cant judge it. you can say 'i think hes doing the wrong thing' but not 'hes a fuckin dumbas'





now im not saying im perfect, but i think this clears up why i made the statements i did



I gave me constructive critisism. if you couldnt construct anything with it, dont get angry with me!



besides, my last comment was very valid and has not been adressed. you dont want to talk to his wife because of your friendship, so tehrefor you put your status in his chain of relationships higher importance than trying to save his life. if it was casual use then sure, keep a secret, but when you think it might be the end of it, then dont you think his life is more important than your pride?

"
wtf is that a term paper :D

[headymoechick]

You have no clue what the situation is. Period. I came here to ask for dosage info. I've done herion. Just not a lot and 8 grams in 4 days sounded like a lot to me. So I asked. I also asked for support because it's hard to watch him die. And now he IS dying so why don't you get off my back. Don't you have anything better to do?

[crackforkids]

your silly for not talking to him earlier. now, im not calling you names or anything, but lok, hes in the hospital! how do you think i felt comming to my friend in tears, begging him to get help?!
you waited to long, now hes inn the hospital. everyone here neds to quit arguing, someone is DYING! (that goes for you too headymoechick! it only takes up time you could be finding help!)
i had a big informative response writted but it got erased somehow when i tried to post it, and i dont feel like typing, in short
1. he needs YOU, since you seem to be the only one who cares
2. methadone seems very needed here
3. you dont seem to fully understand the power of dope, watch trainspotting.
4. PM me with updates, questions, ect. i have a lot of experience in addiction/withdrawls/treatments.

[headymoechick]

ok I did talk to him a while ago. he told me the reason he was with his wife is because she is so self obessed that she won't notice. She's in Vancouver right now. She was contacted that he was in the hospital and isn't coming back right away. He told me a few weeks ago he would try and cut down because I cared so much. He even told me he wished he had asked me out way back when which freaked me out a little bit. But what he explained is if I told her, she would divorce him, he would shoot herion anyway, and it would just make things more stressful.

If you know herion addicts more than I, you know no matter waht anyone says, it won't make them stop. Just a bit more guilt. I realized this and decided to just be there for him if he needs me.

THis isn't the first person I've seen get fucked up or die from herion so I know a thing or two, but I never understand how it's worth it in the end. THat's why I think it's so stupid.

But anyway it's just so hard for me right now. I know it's harder for him if he's still in there and his famliy (although I haven't seen any of them I'm sure they are visiting him). I don't think anything I could have said would have saved him. I hope not. I tried to make him realize how much I care and how much I want him to stop.

All I want now is for him to pull out.

[Gr8fulyDeadicated]

drug abuse doesnt correlate to intelligence. at all. its about self control
bullshit.

pardon me, but your ignorance is showing......

[velvet]

bullshit.

pardon me, but your ignorance is showing......
Who's ignorance? I think you're referring to yourself... using drugs has nothing to do with intelligence.. people from all walks of life use drugs and can get addicted.. addiction itself is something that some people are more vulnerable to than others, it's biologically.. like when you're mom's an alcoholic, you're more likely to become addicted to stuff yourself as well.

What you're basically saying is that only dumb people use drugs and that's just so.. well.. ignorant. It's has way more to do with selfdiscipline and selfconfidence (like standing up to peerpressure) etc etc..

[Gr8fulyDeadicated]

let me rephrase that...
its about self control
It's has way more to do with selfdiscipline and selfconfidence (like standing up to peerpressure) etc etc
bullshit.


pardon me, but your ignorance is showing......


using drugs has nothing to do with intelligence.. people from all walks of life use drugs and can get addicted.. THIS statement i agree with. i apologize for the misunderstanding. addiction has nothing to do with self control, it's all about drugs controlling you. and the mistaken belief that you can take the drug, without the drug taking you.

[Gr8fulyDeadicated]

What you're basically saying is that only dumb people use drugs
i never meant to imply that at all. i know that's not true.

[velvet]

ahhh... wait.. miscommunication.. you mean that selfdiscipline and selfcontrole are of little use when it comes to drugaddiction? Like.. the drugs control you so it's nearly impossible (without help) to battle it on your own?

With that, I fully agree :)

[velvet]

What I meant with 'standing up against peer pressure' is that this is what you need to avoid drugs in the first place.. if you're already addicted than this doesn't really help anymore.. although these characteristics can make rehabilitation less hard.

[Gr8fulyDeadicated]

What I meant with 'standing up against peer pressure' is that this is what you need to avoid drugs in the first place.. if you're already addicted than this doesn't really help anymore.. although these characteristics can make rehabilitation less hard.i agree, that you need to avoid drugs in the first place. i've always figured i saw so many good people go down, what makes me think i'm any better/stronger/smarter than them? hell, i can't even quit smoking cigarettes. i WOULD be a junkie if i ever started, so my self control is not to start.

i don't think being able to stand up to peer pressure really matters once you are addicted though. by then, most addicts don't give a rat's ass what their peers think. or their wives, children, parents, grandparents, friends.......

i haven't met a single addict that could kick it on their own. or kick it without personally really wanting to. first though, has to come the wanting to quit - and from headymochick's posts it sounds like her friend isn't to that point yet.

sorry, hmc - YOU need a support group. don't take this as a personal failure, it's not your fault.

[velvet]

i agree, that you need to avoid drugs in the first place. i've always figured i saw so many good people go down, what makes me think i'm any better/stronger/smarter than them? hell, i can't even quit smoking cigarettes. i WOULD be a junkie if i ever started, so my self control is not to start.
Yeah.. it's strange how that works.. I've smoked weed a few times.. I smoked cigs a couple of times (when I got one offered), I drink alcohol at social things.. but none of it really did anything for me.. even cigarettes.. I have a whole package at home (overhere we blend tobacco with weed and often cigs are used for that) but I couldn't care less.. used one cigarette a few months ago and never touched it again. But chocolate.. now that's another thing.. I can't go a day without.. there is said to be a thingie in it that makes you addicted and mimics the 'happy' chemicals.. maybe that's why.. but it's sooooo jummy! It's way more harmless but it still kinda annoys me that I can't go without ;)

i don't think being able to stand up to peer pressure really matters once you are addicted though. by then, most addicts don't give a rat's ass what their peers think. or their wives, children, parents, grandparents, friends.......
Yup true.. and that's the hardest part.. although I think that may differ from drug to drug.. alcoholics seem to be more easy to 'deal with' than people on crack or heroin.. it's probably what the drugs do to them, especially to their emotions.. plus it'll differ from person to person.. the key is not to give up hope and keep caring but avoid being dragged down with the addict.

[velvet]

i haven't met a single addict that could kick it on their own. or kick it without personally really wanting to. first though, has to come the wanting to quit - and from headymochick's posts it sounds like her friend isn't to that point yet.
Fully agree.. an addict needs a strong will to quit PLUS an environment that is helpfull (like good friends, good therapy, good family etc). Without one of the two it's nearly impossible.. in fact, without the will of his/her own, it IS impossible.

sorry, hmc - YOU need a support group. don't take this as a personal failure, it's not your fault.
Yup.. headymoechick.. try finding a supportgroup for friends/family of addicts.. if there aren't any specific ones or even general ones, try finding people in the same situation online for 'cyber support' or go to the local AA for some advice (addicts are addicts, the specifics may differ with the drug, but they do have a lot in common).. best of luck to you and take care of yourself, so you're strong enough to be there for him when he realises that he needs to change his life. Sometimes you even have to let people hit the very low before they realise how to get back onto their feet.. just stand by and be there for him.. but make it his responsibility.. don't let him drag you down.