Ego Loss

[SweeperOfDreams13]

Has anyone ever experienced ego-loss?
Can you describe it?
Is it even possible to describe?
Sounds like it would be amazing and terrifying all at once.

[Scholar_Warrior]

it is like a big blank spot that is full of everything.

[PurpleGel]

it's rather difficult to describe, though not impossible. i think what he just said sums it up pretty well. only time i've ever experienced it was when i tripped koh samui shrooms, alone, in the privacy of my home. I don't know about the typical effects of tripping alone (this was the first solo-trip ever and interestingly also the first ego-loss trip ever), but i would argue that doing it alone, in privacy, it is infinitely more conducive to experiencing level 5 - ego loss. this is probably because you can do exactly what you want, when you want/need to and there are no reminders (such as a tripping buddy, other people, societal icons, etc) that influence and pull you back to a certain sense of reality of existence. when you are alone, you can open up. it was quite emotional for me, until at one point i lost it and all the previously intense visuals ceased (because i no longer cared about seeing them), and i entered a world of ego-loss. i can see, now, that i am already setting myself up to have to explain it, and that's not something i want to tackle. but, i'm still curious if anyone has experienced true ego-loss (or level 5 trip) with people present.... it only seems possible, to me, when you are with no one but yourself.
peace

[HerbuhLovuh]

A blackhole, only detectable indirectly, more exciting than devils weed.
0=1

[crackforkids]

i only experienced ego loss once. i became blind, and felt i was sinking into sand. i was sinking in the sands of time. i was nothing, i was everything. i was not physical i was not mental, i JUST was. i was a collective series of ideas and thoughts. no thought processes, just single thoughts. scary at the time, fun when i got used to it.that was K by the way

[gnrm23]

well, there is a difference between "ego-loss" & "depersonalization"...

ego loss might be described as experiencing as fact that the boundary between "self" and "universe" is illusory...

check out alan watts' writings in books such as:
nature, man, and woman
the book: on the taboo against knowing who you are
the joyous cosmology

(or even poke around at sites like www.csp.org (http://www.csp.org) & www.thefane.org (http://www.thefane.org) etc...)

[drbeaker]

I don't know if you would exactly consider this to be "ego-loss" but I had a revelation recently after sharing a bag of psilocybin mushrooms with a close friend, that I felt we could communicate telepathetically as spirit to spirit more than as man to man. Then I decided this was because we were both actually seperate but equal parts of a greater whole, the Earth Mother Gaia. I then closed my eyes, and could see myself floating away from the earth and I realized that even the spirit of the entire earth is but one part of an even greater conciousness that encompasses the whole universe. I began "zooming out" through the layers of the ways in which my existence is defined as an American, than as a human being, than as a part of the great spirit of the earth, and then finally as a part of the still greater spirit of the universe.

[backtothelab]

It's like walking into a house for the first time and knowing your home.

[Autentique]

Reading this makes me want to try psychedelics even more, its an urge I've had for a long time, and threads like this only make it grow. Just haven't had the chance.

[Ocean Byrd]

I've kind of experienced ego loss... When I took 780 mg of DXM, I felt like everything was pressing in upon me and that I wasn't alive nor dead, that I was just there. Like I was the only one who could just observe and not participate, I was unable to communicate much less think clearly and move self-consciously.

Basically, I was lost in my own mind.

[twoseeeyes]

I only felt ego loss through salvia.

[prairiepixie]

~*hey ~ i experienced my ego is the teensyweensiest tiny grain of sand*~!

[jailmate]

you think uh are doi it, however it iz all ego, a false trip.
Egoless iz the way to be.

[gnrm23]

hey autentique---

you live in santo domingo...
it is almost certain that the morning glories that grow by you are psychedelic...
and cattle pastures will sometimes after the rains flush with Psilocybe cubensis ("bald-headed mushrooms of cuba")

and other carib power plants prolly grow around you as well - anything from lianas to bean trees, i dunno...

[Autentique]

hey autentique---

you live in santo domingo...
it is almost certain that the morning glories that grow by you are psychedelic...
and cattle pastures will sometimes after the rains flush with Psilocybe cubensis ("bald-headed mushrooms of cuba")

and other carib power plants prolly grow around you as well - anything from lianas to bean trees, i dunno...
Of the mushrooms I know... but still you get like an 1 1/2 half from here.. wich is nothing, but it doesn´t inspire me to go and get them. I keep telling my friends who have experienced psychedelics that next time.. let me know, but they haven´t been doing them in a long time. I really want to do shrooms and LSD.. but the latter might be a little harder to get.

BTW gnrm23... u are very informed ;)

[geckopelli]

I was on acid laying on the ground in the middle of an akali flat in the desert. There was absolutley NOTHING for at least a 1/4 mile in any direction.

I watched the full moon crawl up the sky until I felt as if my physical boundries were dissolving into the night air. I can only say the rest of me followed, until I was a single mote of awareness, drifting with the moon across the starry background. After an eternity, I lost myself completly in the night. I tasted the gestalt of the Universe.
----
I stopped caring about petty matters the next day, and I stopped taking the inate stupidity of humans so personally.

[kincajou]

losing my ego just shot up other wonderful feelings, like serenity, and feelings of "now" and complete awareness. It's almost like you lose all your anxieties, fears, etc. think about it< when you have anxieties or things you think of that you wouldnt rather think of< your mind will completely bypass any and all routes it takes to get to those anxious feelings< and find a much better route.

[crackforkids]

^^ im not saying you did not have ego loss. but as gnrm23 said there is a "depersinolizatioon" and DXM is dissassciative. so is K.

i finally had REAL ego loss on a but load of amt, and a .5gram of 5x extract salvia smoked in one hit. i woke up in another world doing something else as another person. weird, but i think i was lost inside my head. 5-MEO-DMT must be CRAZY

[kincajou]

Well, one time my friend and I dropped some acid in a parking lot of a phil lesh n friends show, and after a few hours I thought I was my dad. So I guess you could say I lost "my" ego and acquired someone else's in the family, kinda cool. The experience wasn't necessarily scary, but it was strange, because I couldnt direct my brain back to me, so i spent an hour or so as my dad and I prolly pissed off my friend cus i might have been acting like a typical DAD can (bossy, etc.) :H

[kincajou]

[QUOTE=crackforkids]^^ im not saying you did not have ego loss. but as gnrm23 said there is a "depersinolizatioon" and DXM is dissassciative. so is K.

Yeah i've read endless facts on how DXM is a dissasociative, along with k. On DXM I havent had the dissasociative effects where I actually lost my ego. I've been completely left inside my own brain and had the dissasociative feelings, where my body felt out of itself, and my surroundings were difficult to arrange to their true sizes and places they belonged. larger doses may be better for the ego loss, but i had preferred 4oz-6oz for a decent body trip.

[crackforkids]

^^^^ yeah, i jus didnt know how hard you took it. i went up to +1g on it to get lost in my mind

what about havingego loss in your dreams? i mean, wqhen it starts, you dont know how you got there, and then you try and survive and have fun. but i was in the middle of one of my DEEPEST ego trips, scaring my almost, and i figured it was a drug experience gone horribly wrong at a friends house. i woke up and i was just sleepin. fucked up. and it WAS EGO LOSS. it was the same world ive entered many times before


and everyone knows grnm23 and geockopeli are very informed, props to them for helping us all out!

[Sionnach]

I think I suffered ego loss in my first trip....at Avebury a few weeks ago at the solstice..and it was the thing that started it spiralling into a bad trip................

When it reached the point where I couldnt tell up from down, left from right, sky from ground and I was going slowly away into the scary Zow world of unreality,
I suddenly found I'd lost all my wants, my needs, my desires....I lost my passion about ANYTHING.............I looked at Dan and couldnt muster my feelings of love.....I thought about art and music and found my creative core and desire to create.....gone...........all my goals and ambitions for life all seemed pointless.

I didnt want to go back to camp...I wanted a wee but i couldnt see the point...I didnt want to carry on my holiday and walk the ridgeway......I didnt want ANYTHING........I lost my will to survive and if death had come chasing me I wouldnt have cared.
There was absolutely NOTHING I felt even the slightest bit of interest in and I'd lost all passion in anything about my existence............

I felt like I was nothing.....my soul was nothing but a ball of energy trapped within this physical....a physical form designed to gove it locomotion through realitys world.........................I walked past people and realised that no one really knew me and if I died they wouldnt care.......to all these people I was just another Hippy amongst them all.

Then it scared me............I felt I was just doomed..a ball of energy doomed to drift along this world for the next 70 odd years.....wanting nothing, craving nothing...........doomed to feel no love, no hate, no passion, no fear, no pain, no joy.......................to be unable to feel...ANYTHING. Just drifting....trapped in eternity.

It was horrible.

[SamuraiSeahorse]

Oooops.that last post was actually me.forgot to sign in!

[Ediction421]

Ego loss- Something I prefer to experience by myself. I was at a rather large social gathering the first time I experienced it and I ended up pissing people off and getting confused wanting to babble on about relatively unimportant things to everyone else that was there. I ended up going to sleep somehow and woke up about who knows how long later and couldnt remember who I was exactly, or where I was and who owned the house, as I had just met the dude that day. He asked me if I was alright and I was like 'yeah, but is there a door in here?' an he was like 'yeah... why you looking for it?' ...'Uhhh... Im not sure, im not crazy, im just a little crazy right now... I have a blunt though but I want to smoke it somewhere else, not here, I think we could be trapped and there's people out that window' I was saying while suspicuosly eyeing "Planet of the Apes" on the TV. So he was like alright follow me, and I managed to follow him outside while everything I saw seemed strangely new and distant at the same time and completely wrong due to relevance issues I was dealing with. So we get outside, and I notice all of a sudden that we have stopped and he's looking at me seemingly bewilederd... "What the fuck?! What the fuck are we doing here?!" I said. My homie was like "(Laughing)We came to smoke a blunt fool! Smoke that blunt or lets go back inside cuz im gonna go back to sleep!". "Yeah I know that (As I pull out the blunt and begin to fumble with it) but thats not it, I mean what the fuck are we doing here, whats the point of all this?! Why do we have life? Theres a reason I know it, and it's all fucked up now, everything's gone wrong, we need to change"


Anyways got 2 go finish this one later....

[forest_pixie84]

i had a massive trip from what i think was a combination of pot, various pharmacuticals, over submerjance into the study of phiosophy of religions, physhology, and eating way too many mushrooms for my first time. Man, i was really freaked out for a while. well anyway when i calmed down and came back from my "trip", its like i didn't have anymore problems. it was like a moment of clarity where i saw myself and all people as works of art. when we start out as babies we're blank canvas waiting to be painted, and our ego is the paint of our surroundings. but i think ego loss is understanding (or sometimes not understanding but feeling) that you are not the paint but the canvas, and seeing how the manipulation of the paint decides the work of art.