How to look gay (MERGED)

[Disarm]

For my mum's christmas present I'm getting photos taken of me and my siblings (4 in all) because we're all getting harder and harder to track down and get together (in february only one of us will still live in the region). Anyway. We wanted to dress each of us up as people totally opposite to who we actually are, (or if that's too hard just overexagerrate who we are) and my sister is not only gay but in about every gay club/supportgroup/charity there is. She also hates wearing dresses and skirts, she's not butch or anything like that, but she just likes to dress plainly, "like a russian peasant", she says, and I'd like to incorporate that as well. So I was wondering if you guys had any ideas on how we could totally stereotype her as anti-/ completely not gay, or extremely, totally, flamboyantly gay.

[SelfControl]

Dress her as a gay man?

Failing that, plaid lumberjack shirt, sunglasses, deerstalker hat. Possibly a cigar. Instant drag king. Only really works if she's a big girl.

[Sunburst]

Yes. Plaid shirt, blue jeans, trucker hat, steel-toed boots, short haircut or wig.

Or combat boots, white wife-beater, and bluejeans.

[SelfControl]

Dungareeeeees!!!

[psyche]

*looks in closet* ummm... birkenstocks, ani d tshirt and a fanny pack. and something rainbow. or for opposite, she could wear a cute little peasant top and some hip huggers. aw.

[PhotoGra1]

Faded Jeans
Large, Blue Flannel Shirt
Birkenstocks
Power Tools

[SelfControl]

Pool cue, lesbos love pool.

[Sunburst]

This is fun;):P

[Disarm]

hehe my sister the lumberjack!!!

lesbos love pool? o..k

She's tiny by the way, I think she's like 150cm (4'8) tall..maybe we should dye her hair purple or something? I really wanted to make her wear a skirt! brilliant ideas, if I can work out how my computer works then I might be able to post a picture

[rocknroll_girl]

to add...

baseball cap
baggy jeans
ani teeshirt for sure, preferably under a long-sleeved tee
flannel, or just a nice collar shirt
hiking boots or birks

yay!

[LogsOnSticks]

Alright, so all of us here are aware at the fact that homosexuality is very sterotypical towards the general society...

For gay men, they are considered to be flambuoyant, flamy, and feminine.

For lesbians, they are sterotypically perceived as butch and tomboys.

Do you define yourself under these stereotypes? HOW do you define yourself? And, what kind of people spark your interests for a relationship or intimacy?

As for me, I've got my "homo moments," as others say, such as possessing a minor case of limp-wrist disease, considering that I use a lot of hand gestures when I speak.
However, all in all, I really don't fit the stereotype...I dress like most straight guys, wearing heavy clothes and T-shirts, my appearance isn't girlish, my delivery isn't girlish, and my interests are quite neutral...

And as for people to spark my interests, I have an attraction towards guys who have a great sense of humor, yet possess insightful and sentimental qualities for any bond or relationship...I like guys who are always comfortable and content to be with you, who wouldn't mind getting warm and cozy with you by cuddling...
Sexually, I seem to be more interested with guys who have dark hair, a bit of a tan, and appear to look more masculine on the outside...

But all in all, you can't underestimate love and affection, either...

[Duncan]

You bring up a number of points and concerns that seem to interest and/or plague many of us. Appearance and character are--hopefully--two separate aspects of the person. My appearance is actually pretty genetic to that of my family. I may have a little extra poundage around the belly, but other than that the physical me is not extraordinary. I don't have an unusual bounce in my gait or swish in my step. My clothing is far from the fashion plate of the firmament; I shop at OUT OF THE CLOSET and other thrift stores and pretty much dress in season (no big woop in southern California). I don't wear shorts or expose my elbows and my appearance is actually fairly modest. I'm somewhat hippie inasmuch as I have tie dyed garments.

As for character, I seek people who are friendly and humorous. I'm selective about the humor I put up with. Some people can be nasty in their playfulness. That doesn't wash with me. I actually crave more friendships than I have allowed over the years. When you don't have an army of friends and you loose touch with the ones who are near and dear, it becomes quite difficult to replace them. Can you ever really REPLACE a friend?

I communicate best with gay men, followed by straight women. Next in line are lesbians and lastly are straight men. Truth be told, I have very little in common with most straight men. The younger ones in my classroom situation are interested in pussy, cars and computer components. I'll leave it at that.

[gertie]

i hate sexuality based stereotypes.

[Stalkz]

I don't define myself by my sexual orientation (which is concidered 'bisexual').

I'm a burnout who's stuck in the early 90's with the revival of hippies, birth of real burnout popularity, college radio music nerds, NYDM brutal metal sceners, heroin-esque grunge style, and whatever else.

I'm pretty "strait" I guess as far as apperance and my personality goes.

[gertie]

i can totally relate to that. i guess by most standards i'm bi, but that doesn't mean i act or dress differently or adhere to a specific stereotype.

I don't define myself by my sexual orientation (which is concidered 'bisexual').

I'm a burnout who's stuck in the early 90's with the revival of hippies, birth of real burnout popularity, college radio music nerds, NYDM brutal metal sceners, heroin-esque grunge style, and whatever else.

I'm pretty "strait" I guess as far as apperance and my personality goes.

[Taylor]

I am in dress the same as I am in personality... I dress how I feel and that tends to generally be "alternative" (meaning non-mainstream). I don't fit in with the mainstream in my likes and dislikes and that expresses itself in how I dress.
Besides, i don't think there's a particularly "bisexual" way to dress.

[Stalkz]

Lots of bi folk.

Hmm... I have an idea for a thread that might bring up some good discussion

[SageDreamer]

I think everybody has gay moments, even people who aren't gay. It's just that people tend to notice those gay moments more when you are gay. I am not as flamboyant or flamy as the stereotype, but I'm not way stomping butch either. I just am who I am and leave it at that; I don't try to be one way or the other and tire quickly of men who try to see how butch they can be. Similarly, really girly girls bore me silly.

[sweetval]

My girlfriend and I are both very feminine, in appearance and mannerisms. We are both bi, although I think we are really gay and like boys on the side.

Althought there is no butch/fem roles as such, in the bedroom my gf takes control, is the dominant one. She disiplines me :) and in general leads the sexual play, position, oral, dildos, anal, etc.

If the two of us are involved with a boy/boys, we are both usually submissive to them.

In school, unless they knew we are bi/gay (which they do now) they would never guess from our mannerisms or dress.

[Stalkz]

It's odd how most people really do believe the gay stereotypes, yet I've never met a gay/bi person that was like that...


It's because of shit like Real World, every queer they ever have on there is the most flamboyant womanly man they can possibly find.


If all the black and latino roles on TV were still drug lords and ignoramuses, people would still believe that too.

[Duncan]

"I am who I am" ? Girlie Men ? Good heavens, SageDreamer, this is almost cliché (I just love writing words with accent marks!)

...I just am who I am and leave it at that
http://www.bestreadguide.com/lasvegas/images/012802/popeye.jpg

...Similarly, really girly girls bore me silly.
http://www.cardmagnets.com/SNL/012.jpg

[ZePpeLinA]

If i had to define my sexual preference i'd say "bi" but I really despise stereotypes and labels in general. let's just say that i love everyone.
in terms of how i look like, well, i always dress in a rather alternative way, band t shirts, big jumpers, baggy trousers or bellbottoms, tie dye stuff or really girly sometimes, depending on my mood...lets say i look "straight" and sometimes a bit "tomboyish"
in terms of what i look for in my people, i go for feminine types of gal, usually blondes, but i dont mind. i'm open to anyone, but i've found myself looking at the same "kind" of people.
Boys...well, i've a fetish with glasses, those really thick ones..mmm..yeah. and longish hair is a plus too!

[psyche]

i don't think i dress or act stereotypically gay, despite my sexual tendencies. i'm a really feminine person, i wear makeup, have long hair, wear bras, shave (occasionally), (try to) dress in vibrant colours and i care about my appearance. that's why many people are shocked/refuse to believe it when they find out i'm gay. i have a few pride articles like necklaces or novelty shirts that i wear sometimes, and that's really the only indication. that and the hot dready chick i'm attached to at the hip.

my personality is slightly more masculine than most girls i know. of course i bellydance and am all into writing and art and such which can be considered girly, but i fit in well as "one of the guys".

[mrpiddleslives]

i'm bi but i don't know if there is a bi way to dress. i guess i just wear flared jeans/trousers/t shirts/shirts/ whatever really and i have longish hair/piercings i'm not butch but im not a girly girl.
men i go for are usually skinny, long haired, lady-boy types :) whereas women i go for curvy types, bit quirky/hip and definetly not to girly but im not attracted to the 'butch' stereotypes either. and my god women i go for have to be razor friendly, i just dont find body hair that attractive...especially on girls.

thats it really :)

[BlackGuardXIII]

First off, I am 99 % hetero.....that is all I'll say for now on that issue. I very much am against labelling based on sexuality, but begrudgingly admit that all demographic groups will have their unique common, yet not universal, traits. Canadians are often thought of as beer drinkers, and that is not an inaccurate comment, on the whole. The French are considered wine lovers, also a fair generality. hateful or insulting generalities are ALWAYS wrong, in my view, IE:

One ethnicity is stupider than the rest, etc. Or one that really bugs me, that homosexuality is tied to paedophilia.....BS.
So, I digress, I have met burly, masculine looking gay men, and petit, feminine gay women, which I would expect.
I am a big fan of good sex, and aim to please in the boudoir. making love to my partner is not a necessity, but damn, it is hard to beat.
My sexual appearance, so so, not an adonis, not an ogre, somewhere in between, with a slant towards outdoorsy and eccentric.

[Nisha]

hmm.. i have many sides to myself.

sometimes.. i know i am sexy and i feel it in my bones and mind. I know i look pretty and attractive.. but other times (today) i just feel like "BLAH" and that there is nothing special about me..

as for my character.. most guys think im a suicidal depressing "good time" slut. the very rare ones think im cool... girls think im just a nobody and that i have no life..

i dont know what to believe. im forlorn. queer.. and my best friend is myself.

[BlackGuardXIII]

hmm.. i have many sides to myself.

sometimes.. i know i am sexy and i feel it in my bones and mind. I know i look pretty and attractive.. but other times (today) i just feel like "BLAH" and that there is nothing special about me..

as for my character.. most guys think im a suicidal depressing "good time" slut. the very rare ones think im cool... girls think im just a nobody and that i have no life..

i dont know what to believe. im forlorn. queer.. and my best friend is myself.
hang in there Nisha....................I support you. You go girl, having many sides may be easy for others to criticize, but in my view, it is the only way to go. I find that the opposite of that is being elitist, exclusivist, divisive, judgemental, hurtful, predjudicial, discriminatory, etc.
It is not good, in other words.
I know what you mean about melancholy, but I am an example of surviving being eccentric, and looked down upon by all groups of society since early teen years, when my opinions started coming out. They were not exactly loved by all. I am 40, didn't think I'd hit 20, and thought 30 was 'old'.
I now know that even 40 is not old, and some experiences this year have been the best in my life, to my shock.

Your best friend is yourself?
Good. I wish more people admitted that. We all are, as well as our worst enemy, which few will admit, as well. No one accepts responsibility, the 00's are the decade of the excuse, and passing the buck, in my view.

You are an angel on earth, and if you can survive the pain, trust me, I have seen some pain, afterwards, you will find that there is always a balancing out. This means that the worse the pain, the greater the joy later.
I believe this firmly, but don't expect anyone else to.

Love, BG13

As knowledge increaseth, sorrow increaseth. I read that in a real old book somewhere.......

[peace057]

Well, I am bisexual but I think, because of generalizations made by society, most would think I am completely straight. I dress slightly "hippy" but all my friends just think I am alternative, unlike themselves. None of my friends know that I like girls as well as guys and my behavior doesnt give it away (I dont think!). Ocassionaly I catch myself looking at girls or saying things that would hint towards my true sexuality but I think most people are still too close-minded to think that THEIR friend could be gay or bisexual.

As far as what I am attracted to in the same sex, physically, I love girls who are a little different. There is nothing hotter than a girl with dreads or a girl wearing a long flowerprint skirt. As far as personality goes, I like girls who are incredibly open-minded and free. I hate people who judge other people and I love girls who respect everyone. Its really important for me to treat others nicely, regardless of their sexual preference, race, social status, or whatever else.