I'm a big kid now!

[HoneySuckleBlue]

We set up our fake tree over the weekend. It's the first one i have ever gotten that was'nt borrowed or slavaged from a thrift store...our thinking being we'll never have to buy another one if we take care of this one, and well, I just sit at look at it in awe sometimes of how it makes me feel.

It's just a dumb plastic tree you know, but the sheer presence it has already with all the kids hand made ornaments from school and home and their baby ornaments and the ones we've collected each year...just fills me with something new. Something like object permanence, that tree will be part of our family tradition for many years to come.

It's neat looking at new stuff and the possibilities of attaching new energy to what ever it is.

Never having had a home or any kind of family rituals or stability, this coupled with the realisation sinking in that I am finaly Home is filling me with a strange and new self realisation...I am growing up:) (yes Gil, I am just getting this:p ) and I am creating memories that my children will carry with them through out their lives.

What a big responsibility.

I am only guessing that the feeling of being perpetualy 10 will only continue to morph...I wonder if when I am 70 if it will be a suprise revelation that 'omg I am old' or if I will grow into it gracefully. I never gave any thought to being a grown up, but it seems to just seep in anyway...

Being a person is a trip!

[nirgal]

:) Home is a feeling, sometimes it's here in front of us and sometimes here only in memory :)
Wrap it around your kids, and someday when they are all grown up, they will find it too.
Much love

[moominmamma]

Hey, my minds still 15 - but my knees are 75 to make up for it - no more disco stew for this Moomin (edit to add to my senility I've gone back too many times and ended up logged in as Moominmamma, this is the one and only truely original MMP!)


http://www.streetswing.com/histmain/histitl/1snf1.jpg

So strike up the band, for this last one dance
My legs start to reel, my feet start to prance
I jitter, I jive, I sway like a drunk
Remember I pogo'd when I was a punk
But the funk in my groove is missing a beat
Two songs at best then collapse with the heat
And sit out the next one, (more likely next four)
And watch all the young ones strutting the floor
Till they find me and beg me to dance just like John
The Beegees are playing, my feet can't go wrong
Like an old warhorse, I take my last chance,
To boogie till morning, get it on, lets dance......

[mariecstasy]

oh yay...there is so much to the whole christmas lights thing period....
but kim...you are right, it is wonderful to have a tree full of memories ...past, present and to be had..
and its ok, i'm only just getting all this stuff too...we need our guru gil to tell us all this stuff so we dont have to learn it on our own...lol...do you think we would hear it though? i know i wouldnt.

[HoneySuckleBlue]

Nope Marie i've tried learning it from examples...but it just isnt the same, or I am too hard headed. Mebbe one of these days I'll get tired of going, 'Yup, there's a reason people don't do that...' I can tell you I am feeling real close. We'll see.

Christmas is new for me because when I was growing up my parents had an alternative religion that did'nt celebrate Christmas. So I was always on the side lines at the school holiday plays and the christmas parties I had to sit in an empty class room and do worksheets while everyone else got to exchange secret santa gifts...I remeber one year a teacher gave me a fake barbie and I was so happy...but naturaly Barbies and it being a Christmas present made it doubly evil so i could'nt keep it.

UH~oh...just opened a whole new can of worms...I am almost ready to cry, lol.

That sucked.

But anyway I am starting fresh right along with the kids in reguards to discovering what having the Christmas spirit is all about and making new memories that we can all cherish.



...and MMP you give me hope:) I am so curious to feel the spanning of time my mind will know as i progress through the years. It really is neat already being only 30 something. I can't wait to be really old and have the time to just sit and reflect, without the bother of all this doing. Can't do that now or i won't have anything to reflect upon!

[mariecstasy]

wow...i cant imagine how it feels to the none christmas celebraters. that hurt me to read...
so what are you getting the girls this year?

[HoneySuckleBlue]

:& Solly Christmas is kinda just bitter sweet, you know? I can't even feel bad though, there are people that have way more twisted issues than I ever have, but It's always something, whether it is family members getting stuck in the chimney trying hard to act out a lie:p or just not having any money to buy all the stuff you feel like you need to buy to have people love and adore you...there's so many ways Christmas screws people up.

Bahhumbug!


j/k

Jess loves to read and she has been asking me whenever I make someone else a beaded bookmark if I could make her one. I have'nt had the time before so I'm gonna find the time now and see if I have one in me for her(:) quite sure I do) .

I found this cool glow in the dark wolf jig saw puzzle I am thinking about ordering to add to her wolf collection and Dog training book.

A new soccer ball (Bandit killed the other one...)

um, mebbe some music...

And for goo, a helmet and extremities protection. I'd like to find something cool like those old black WWI helmets with the silver spike on the top...

Rich wants to get her some video game thing for the tv where she can practise her reading in a video game format because she always wants to play the xbox but she looses the games they had saved. Now she can have her own:)

A kids bop cd...she loves that poop.

Dress up clothes from the thrift store.

Paint and a sketch pad.


We tend to just feed their interests and Christmas time is a freebie, the rest of the year they have to earn their stuff.

I have'nt quite figgured out what christmas is really supposed to be about...because Christ was allegedly born a different time of year...and from what I saw growing up christmas was just a tool to manipulate kids into being good.

It is all very cornfusing and i am looking foreward to nice and quiet January.

Do you love this time of year Marie?

[oldwolf]

Well - it definitely is a strain to go anywhere commercial ..... what a blessing !

[HoneySuckleBlue]

Especialy on the weekend! Every one is buzzing about two more Saturdays til Christmas...Oooooh.

What are your Christmas traditions oldwolf?

[oldwolf]

Every day in every way I create myself anew
Celebrating All of existence
And while trying to stay true to Self
Honoring the Connections to the Whole
Attempting to be inclusive rather than exclusive

While I may be vegetarian by preference I try to express grateful appreciation for what is put in front of me

With the kids out of the nest and having less interactions with society in general, somewhat isolated up on the land, I tend to live 1 day much like any other

[Moving_cloud]

Kim ... this year I celebrate that I will not celebrate christmas ... what a relief ... and I am already practising !

I love this time of the year too much - it is special for me

And it is a trip to Be

Much love to you :)

[nirgal]

I miss children and christmas time. Some years I'll get a part time job selling christmas trees and wearing a santa hat, just to be around and feel all the innocent joy.
I don't celebrate it anymore than any other day, myself, now that my kids are grown.
love

[HoneySuckleBlue]

You guys are lucky, I am thinking....I almost wish now, that we did'nt decide to celebrate it. It just seems like alot of money to spend and I am not looking foreward to it at all this year.

It's confusing living on the outskirts of mainstream society...you want to be a part of it because it looks like everyone is having so much fun, but you really are'nt and nothing matters but what you want to matter. Commiting to any one thing is the hard part.

It's hard to believe in something when I know the only thing making it special is that I believe...wtf?

Mebbe I'm just in a dark spot...

[mariecstasy]

kim....i love this time of year. i suppose cause it reminds me of my mom and her family and alot of the ways we used to spend our christmas...
its also extremely fun to see arianna excited. i also like the fact that she will get alot of the things that i am unable to provide her currently...thank god people ask what she needs.
i got her a little plastic desk, some finger paints, a puzzle, playdoh, a barbie teaset/playdoh set that has molds for little cookies and such:), a sweater and corduroy pant set, stickers, more art supplies.....that is all...i spent 80.00. not too much since i dont have it..but they are all things that are helpful in her development..the only play thing i got was the tea set but they need imagination stuff too. or so i think
for the rest of the family, i am making gift baskets of mugs, teas, coffees, cookies, inspirational books, lotions, i will burn some special cd's that i think each would like...will cost me about 10 dollars. not really expensive...well not what i normally spend. but i figure that what will be the real heart to each gift will be the letters of love, respect, and admiration that will be individualized to each person. i normally make christmas gifts but this year i am not afforded the space or time.

what do i like about this time of year? as i said, memories and traditions...
like this weekend we will all decorate the tree. yep i am 30, but we still do this as a family....on christmas eve we always have a big dinner jsut for the immediate family since christmas is crazy around here, like 30 people. we always make a fire and open one gift. on christmas we always get up real early and have a special breakfast and then open the presents. i like the family gathering. i like the warmth of the decorations. i like the happiness i feel inside knowing that i put myself in everyones gift. and this year, well of course i am super excited to see arianna be excited.
i do think though, that i am going to find something that we can get involved in so that arianna can feel the gift of giving. i want to do this every year for her. it wasnt done with me and i think that i got to enveloped in the getting of it all.this year it will mean nothing to her...next year prolly not either...then she will eventually get pissed i have her involved in such a silly thing...but eventually...well she will look back and smile at the warmth of the decorations, the family and the memories...
so that, the memories and traditions are what this season is to me....not the shopping adn gettign( i had to learn this on my own though, lol)

[mariecstasy]

I miss children and christmas time. Some years I'll get a part time job selling christmas trees and wearing a santa hat, just to be around and feel all the innocent joy.
I don't celebrate it anymore than any other day, myself, now that my kids are grown.
lovethat is sweet greg...it must fill your heart with so much joy to watch the kids smile in anticipation

[Scholar_Warrior]

I don't really celebrate Christmas anymore. really what is generally celebrated is Xmas. there is no Christ in it! it's all santa, which is satan with one letter moved.


I try to celebrate God (however you interpret that word) all year long.

Peace

[HoneySuckleBlue]

I loved your version of it Marie, that's what I have in my mind of how it should be...but for some reason this year I am having trouble getting it together. I am tired of doing everything by myself I guess, though I should probably suck it up for the kids sake.

...but why?

I think scrooge farted on my face while I slept...

[mariecstasy]

hahahaha...well i will tell scrooge to eat something more pleasant next time...like perhaps some creamed corn?

[HoneySuckleBlue]

Yeah, jeezus...Something, that stuff has some hangtime.

[Scholar_Warrior]

*tents hands* (in my best Monty Burns immitation) "Excellent! Smithers! Get this Mr. Scrooge to join us for dinner again for tonight. I have one more assignment for him. Muuuuaaaaahaaahaaahaaa! cough. cough. choke."

[HoneySuckleBlue]

*sits looking out window hopefully, waiting for the Christmas spirit to fall outta the sky...or be revealed or something...*


Baaagh!
...humbug.

I really wish I could figure out how to get Rich to be more involved and to enjoy the inclusion in this entire process of giving of Ourselves to those We love. I know I need to do it anyway...but it's just no fun by myself.

*blegh, crawls back into hole*

[mariecstasy]

oh but perhaps that is where you are wrong, perhaps it is ONLY fun if you do it all by yourself since he wont get into the spirit.

[kitty fabulous]

we of course celebrate the winter solstice and not christmas, although since my parents celebrate christmas and want to indulge the kids we usually go out & celebrate with them. don't know if we will this year because suresh is working christmas in order to get yule off and last year was so horrible...worst fight i can remember since i was a teenager. they've tweaked my dad's meds again but i still don't trust him to behave himself.

for the first 3 years of damien's life we didn't put up a tree. i put his gifts on the altar and filled a plastic cauldron with goodies. but one year damien said he wanted to do a tree, so he and i walked to rite aid and got the last plastic tree they had, which was white. i told damien it was white because it was a goddess tree. i think it was the after suresh and i were handfasted, the first one we spent as a "real" family. we rolled out lots of baker's clay and made ornaments, and bought lights and garland at mccrory's. when the ornaments were done we trimmed the tree and then went outside and stood by the restaraunt across the street to look up at our window & admire it from the street. i found out i was pregnant with shakti the day after christmas.

well, because of all the family strife this year, we didn't celebrate any of the other sabbats, except for samhain, and we didn't even do much for that. i thought i was going to be moving - i still don't know what's going on with my marriage. i wanted to throw out the old decorations, and start over this year, but damien insisted on dragging out the old white plastic tree and putting it up. i really don't know how i feel about that.

i have mixed feelings about celebrating. we only make a big deal out of yule because everybody else makes a big deal out of christmas. it's actually a lesser sabbat. samhain and beltane should be our biggest holidays. i have a lot of unpleasant christmas memories, because that's when dad was at his worst, and we weren't allowed to socialize with friends for his "religious" reasons. i remember always feeling incredibly lonely after all the packages were opened.

there's no rule that says that you have to celebrate the same way everybody else does. shoot, i just realized i missed the uni-terran's all faith's day celebration today! damn, i really wanted to go to that, too...