write the vibe

[Purple_Burnt_Squirre]

gnarly 80s beat
washes houses dry
in primary sighs
that live on next door

the morning paper
brings the latest dog
while the outside
rains candy again

and this very page
can finish itself
to piano keys

[sweetdreadlover]

wow that said ALOT in so few words...now thats talent..

[Moonjava]

this was... interesting. I dig your abstract style. :)

[MoonlightSilver]

I really like "the morning paper brings the latest dog". I really like that alot actually. Alot can be read into that too, although I didn't realize it until I started typing.

[littleskinny]

really like it - but hate the title.

[Purple_Burnt_Squirre]

cool a few ppl liked it yeah the newspaper brings the latest dog that was inspired by dave dobbyn my favourite line as for the title I don't give my poems titles just on here so its I just think of the first thing not always the best :)

[littleskinny]

Only thing about titles is, that they are supposed to be the future ref for the reader....You wouldn't talk of a Wilfred Owen poem by going "did you read the one about the dead dude, you know, with the mud...?" Titles are important, as a reference, and also they should be considered as a mechanism for telling the reader even more about your subject. It comes as a package, title plus poem.

[Purple_Burnt_Squirre]

I agree but as I write modern abstract the title should reflect that like a house to have a modern house with an auld sign it seems somewhat false as it is completly unreleted to the style, thats my thought could be wrong :)

[littleskinny]

agree the title should reflect that. The one you currently have doesn't. It's just a bug of mine that people can write great oems, then spend a split second on a title, and waste the whole piece. Esp on this forum where the title and the bit that you can see on the cursor preview will either attract or repel readers.