slip

[magnificentnuggets]

There it was like a cold witner day
no horse no sleigh no children at play
haunched on his perch stalking his prey
but stop the wind wishes to talk and not go through the anguising stalk
i heard a voice i heard i heard a cry i thought to myself this must be a lie
i stop i pace my heart starts to race no not here i wish i was there
but what am i hiding from am i the consumption of fear
and there i am on a cold winter day lonesome and lonely like an animal of prey
i look for a path
its gone
I search and search
I stop and wait and anticipate
wait and wait...........

[KittenX]

Punctuation! I had to reread to make sense of some of the lines. For example:
[but stop(,) the wind wishes to talk and not go through the anguising stalk]
[but what am I hiding from? Am I the consumption of fear?]
And why do you capitalize the first line and then leave the rest of the poem looking like one long rambling sentence?

[ heard a voice i heard i heard a cry i thought to myself this must be a lie
i stop i pace my heart starts to race ]

Rhyme here is too forced, it's distracting. Tis a pity though, I adore the theme, you can do so much with -winter days- but I'm afraid you try to tackle too much at once without really knowing where to channel your stream of conscience.