Moominpappa
11-26-2004, 11:20 PM
E-mail going the rounds at work that I would like to share.
The following is supposedly a question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls, then
the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year,
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore
extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being and that all our souls will move there, which also explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God! I'm coming!"
The following is supposedly a question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls, then
the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year,
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore
extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being and that all our souls will move there, which also explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God! I'm coming!"