On the Evolution Train

[StoneyCrustyBabe]

These days
I spend so much time
Continuing the eternal conversation
Of self realization
The internal voices
Demons and Angels
Constantly and consistently
Vie for my attention
So my ego is caught on the fence
Stagnating between this tug of war

Yet more often than not
I am led here
To be fed
At the table of self fulfilling prophecy
Presto manifesto
Word becomes will
Which in turn creates reality
The kicker, the big catch
Is that I am shamed to state
I try to shirk this responisibility
I hide behind that
Go with the flow attitude
Maintaining with perfect aptitude
That safety zone
Fovever in limbo
So I don't have to care
Translate that into fear
Feeding the heart's secrets
Becomes the task of
Keeping a lid on my insecurities

Playing the roles
I go through the motions
It's hard when all my heart wants
Is to shine and shimmer like the stars
Winking at the world
Creating the blanket
Under which all souls past and present
Lay down in a great connected spiral
Of death and birth
As above
So below
Seasons are the literal metaphor
For this action and reaction dance
I am caught up in.

Slowly, so slowly I feel time
Creeping up on me
Some ominiscent righteous voice
Urging me to start that personal ad
For the afterlife:
White female
Seeks guru, personal savior, or otherwise
Enlightened individual
For spiritual guidance
Discovering forgotten reincarnations
And long talks about nirvana-esque states
Tantric awareness a plus.

So it goes like this
I am really afraid of
Getting older
I guess I wouldn't feel this way
If half the things I set out to acheive
I actually do make it into a realized state
I am confused
Constantly slapping my brow
What that classic -Doh!-
Wanting so much to make sense of this life
Wishing I could focus for more than
Five minutes on any one goal
But I am too flighty
Too spastic to pay attention for long
Forever the eternal conflict goes on
My soul becomes the ring for
A boxing match
Between dreams and ideals
Where all that matters is that
I become something
Rather than go on being nothing

[GirlInTheGreenGrass]

I can relate to this. It's like you try to change something, motivate yourself to do good and evolve...but there's a force that's always holding you back...or that force is you and you're holding yourself back. Be inspired, love yourself and your mind...it's all you've got.

[sylvanlightning]

Thank you,

I enjoyed your poem.

Namaste ~*


Cosmic Consciousness

Expand beyond the River of Not,
with the Bridge of Equality,
into Infinity.