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rocknroll_girl
11-10-2004, 03:44 AM
We had to write something for Creative Writing in response to a prompt which quoted the adage "the personal is political." It's basically about the great irony that the Bible belt is so gung-ho for so-called "Family Values" yet they're throwing their own kids out of the house if they're gay. Any suggestions or comments would be appreciated - next week I have to "slam it" for an audience and I'm freaking out. (SORRY IF IT'S HUGE! I tried to make the font smaller...)

Takin’ Out the Trash

Takin’ Out the Trash

We’ve got life for sale –

What’s yours worth?

Four bucks an hour, or a grand?

No such thing as class here in an America

That cuts the fruit from the vine

See the way we treat our kids?

Root around the trash can of

offspring tarnished with

unfortunate genetic defects:

that’s where you’ll find

The morally devalued American rejects.


Because, well…

It takes a lot of screwing up
to get kicked out of the house

at 15.

More than failing a test

hitting your sister

or crashing the car.

Musta crossed a thicker line somewhere

Maybe just being honest, youthful flag of truth

burned with a gasp

Chucked out the back door


Console yourself: it was for the best.
Otherwise someone,

God or country,

would have intervened.


So go ahead!
Push it all back! throw it to the deep dark
censor squash shovel throw away cover up

hide deny betray conceal and finally forget


And if you do reject
your own creation

expecting a thank-you note

to appear in your mailbox

red white n’ blue trim

That reads:
Thank you for being God today.
She can’t make all these decisions

Herself


Don’t count on it
She’s up to the clouds

in paperwork

always a new kid pulling the trigger

shooting up feeling alone feeling helpless

feeling sick feeling betrayed

that’s a lot of prayers to answer

Besides, She reserves

all after-dinner thought

for the Catholic Church.


Busy, busy busy

One can imagine the relief
that America, in the name of God

decided to take Family Values

– quote, unquote –

into her own hands.

rocknroll_girl
11-10-2004, 03:45 AM
wow, the spacing is QUITE fucked-up. I do apologize. I wasn't trying to be all artsy fartsy with weird spaces :)

gertie
11-10-2004, 06:53 AM
i like it.

Snowdancer
11-10-2004, 07:44 PM
Very Moving! Very well written!

Thank you

rocknroll_girl
11-11-2004, 01:39 AM
thank you.


it was very non-rythmic, which can be bad. eh. i dunno. i like parts, don't like others.

Taylor
11-11-2004, 08:01 AM
And if you do reject
your own creation

expecting a thank-you note

to appear in your mailbox

red white n’ blue trim

That reads:
Thank you for being God today.
She can’t make all these decisions

Herself


Don’t count on it
She’s up to the clouds

in paperwork


This is my fave part. But the rest of it is also totally awesome. Can I show it to my friends?

ArtistofPeace
11-11-2004, 06:51 PM
That was quite well-written. I was expecting some silly rhyming poem that made me roll my eyes, but it was very good. Nice job.

rocknroll_girl
11-12-2004, 01:44 AM
Thanks. We weren't "allowed" to rhyme. I'm not sure why, but it does tend to result in more creative work.

moonlightdelerium
11-12-2004, 02:23 AM
Its easy to tell that was from the heart. I quite like it.

SelfControl
11-12-2004, 02:33 AM
Thanks. We weren't "allowed" to rhyme. I'm not sure why, but it does tend to result in more creative work.

It's probably because some people really don't get that poetry doesn't have to rhyme. You have to force them to do it.

There were some nice bits, can't say I understood much of it, but you got the generally feeling across, which is all good.

LogsOnSticks
11-12-2004, 03:35 AM
Rock, its more than irony-

Its hypocrisy...

So true, though....I know a lot of Catholics like that...Its one of my biggest fears of coming out.

rocknroll_girl
11-12-2004, 03:55 AM
Yeah LogOnSticks, I thought family values were about unconditional love, not moral righteousness...I agree

LogsOnSticks
11-12-2004, 04:32 AM
mmhm....The Church's response on homosexzuality is to love the sinner, hate the sin...
Goes both ways, though...

Sigh....Its okay to have moral values, but not when you contradict yourself...Christianity is all about moral values...When you treat others like shit just because of who they are or what the have done, thats completely going against Christian morality, especially when you claim yourself to be a devoted Christian..I'm not saying that you can't make mistakes, but when you refuse to forgive and accept and love others for who they are where they can't help it, its pathetic...

loveflower
11-12-2004, 04:57 AM
That was so beautiful, very well written and you definitely got your point across- that's one of the best poems ive read