21year old bisexual virgin

[sushi]

Ow Yes, next week is my 21 birthday, and the fact that I am still a virgin is knocking on my head to many times now!!
The deal is I gave and received oral sex from different men, but I never fucked, just because it didnt' feel right, I wanted it to be with someone special, Now since 2 years I faced the fact I am bisexual, maybe gay, so I was busy exploring my feelings, but like some have absolutly no problems with it, I do have, I get shy, feel insecure and I guess i have problems accepting it, I know its ridiculous, but thats just the way it is. I keep fallen in love with straight girlfriends. And now i work a lot I dont meet a lot of new people, so no new crushes. I dont have social contact problems, I am quiet cute, pretty, smart, its just that maybe i am afraid. I am just writing here, hoping the find some advice, and are there any 21year old virgins here, or am I standing alone on this virginplanet?!!
chaoo

[Seru]

14 year old bi virgin here, let's be friends, in a non sexual way (for legal reasons of course)

[critter]

How can someone know if what sexual preference they are if they have never tried either one? Confused.

[sushi]

yes, am confused aswell, thats why I posted it....:H , i only know the sex I had with men>> I could have fallen asleep

[ZePpeLinA]

i'm just acknowledging my "bisexuality" even though i've never slept with a woman in my life.
still, i think you should take it easy. it's good you decided to wait for someone special...i mean what's the rush? you're 21 so what???? don't feel obliged to comform to what society says. Be you, be free, be happy cos you're a year wiser ;)

[gertie]

pretty much a virgin here too. (and you don't have to have full sex to know what you are attracted to and what you are not)

[The World of Dan]

How can someone know if what sexual preference they are if they have never tried either one? Confused.It's not about the sex... it's about the feelings you have for someone. Sex has nothing to do with love.

[PhotoGra1]

How can someone know if what sexual preference they are if they have never tried either one? Confused.
Obviously, people know their sexuality long before ever "trying either one." Homosexuals can usually look back on childhood memories and see their sexuality in retrospect. Think about receiving a department store catalog as a kid. Looking back, which underwear photos intrigued you more? Male? Female? Both? There it is! Your sexuality, long before in ever came into practice.

[sushi]

yes thats true, when I think back, I really felt special about some girls, and i think having sex with a girl must be sooo intens, but i am soo shy,
:& . And then when i finaly tell a girl, shes straight or shes confused!!
mmmm:(

[LaurelBayTree]

21 year old non-virgin married bisexual here

and no...i am not going to leave my husband for a woman...i just like girls too and there is nothing wrong with that...it is all love.

[rocknroll_girl]

How can someone know if what sexual preference they are if they have never tried either one? Confused.
I absolutely agree with the other poster's response to this - of course you can know before you have sex! Sexuality is so tremendously variant and runs so much deeper than the eventual, physical action. Attraction is, especially for lesbians (I can't speak for guys??), SO completely in the mind. Usually the last thing a lesbian or bisexual woman "admits" in the coming out to herself is that she's actually sexually attracted to other women. There tends to be a really intense "all over" attraction that's not quite right or in line with the rest of the world. That comes first.

[LaurelBayTree]

it is in you about who you are...i always knew this was a part of me but too was confused until about 1 year or 2 ago...my husband appreciates me for who i am and knows i love him for he is my soulmate

[nitemarehippygirl]

. I am just writing here, hoping the find some advice, and are there any 21year old virgins here, or am I standing alone on this virginplanet?!!
chaoo
right here, sushi! i just had my 21st birthday a month or two ago. i'm not bisexual, but hell, i hope you feel better anyways. i've given and received oral many times also, but something always keeps me from allowing things to go further.. a little voice that knows that i won't be talking to this guy in another month or two, you know? so it just doesn't seem right. i'm beginning to wonder now though, if this waiting thing is really worth it... :confused: ! haha

peace

[LaurelBayTree]

wait till you feel comfortable or are in love with the person...i waited till i fell in love and knew this was the person i was going to spend the rest of my life with.

[sushi]

[. i'm beginning to wonder now though, if this waiting thing is really worth it... :confused: ! haha

peace[/QUOTE]

thats exactly how i feel now, is it worth waiting for it, because sometimes I just want to have sex, but then again, theres the little voice, guess I am not alone with this feeling!! thanx for all the replies people, its good for me to read this,
chaoo

[Zack Duchene]

whoa I'm more confused than usual... how can you be sure you're bisexual being still a vrgin?

[gertie]

you just know. (take a look at some of the past posts)

whoa I'm more confused than usual... how can you be sure you're bisexual being still a vrgin?

[autumn_jewels]

im 22 in march and a bi/gay virgin. fancy men but sleeping with them doesnt appeal. fancy fewer women but sleeping with women definately appeals more, and the only person i dated was trans. so nowt confusing about my sexuality then - uhh:rolleyes: hehe. trust me though, being a virgin at our age aint a bad thing. so many people are impressed by the fact that i am which is kinda nice coz they respect me for it. doesnt mean to say i dont wanna sleep with my ex when we get to spend a whole month together over xmas lol...;) we still love each other, just too confusing to know if it could work agayne, besides which we live miles away from each other now:( ah well, but yeah you not alone :)

daisy

[SelfControl]

How can someone know if what sexual preference they are if they have never tried either one? Confused.

It seems entirely reasonable to consider oneself bisexual until one has actually had sex. It makes a lot more sense than assuming you're straight.

[sushi]

So are there any more girls here with some experience, advice or have experienced the same "problem"... I dont need any more replies with "how is possible you feel attracted while you havent had sex" and btw i dont think intercourse is the only way of sex... if you know what i mean..especially if you are gay....

[maryjaneguitargurl]

21 year old non-virgin married bisexual here

and no...i am not going to leave my husband for a woman...i just like girls too and there is nothing wrong with that...it is all love.
Ya when you find someone you love why would you want to leave them.. Thats like saying the same thing if your straight.. She wouldnt leave him for another guy..

peace
chickens

[hailtothekingbaby]

I'm a "mostly" virgin eighteen-year-old non-straight boy. In what way I prefer which gender shifts randomly and continuously, hence no clear sexuality specification. In most cases I feel attracted to someone it's not even sexually, more like a feeling of just wanting to be with that person and having hir for myself. So I'm still keeping the asexuality option open. :p

I guess you can say I'm quite privileged never to have had a negative response by anyone who knows about it, not even by my die-hard heterosexual big macho metalhead friends. :p

Now I'd like it to be known that I'm not a Brad Pitt or a Johnny Depp or an Orlando Bloom, but I'm pretty sure that I'm NOT ugly.

Anyway, my problem is this: in normal friendly conversation I'm quite gay (as in joyous and lively) and often just plain silly. However, when it comes to sex or sexuality, or even talking about it to others than a select few, I immediately become extremely introvert. The reason is that I'm excruciatingly shy when it comes to intimacy and don't even want to discuss it with most people. This can't be because I'm afraid of bad reactions since I'm not used to getting any, and I'm also timid at discussing heterosexuality, and I can't think of another good cause. It's just a topic that makes me extremely shy somehow.

Even the event that made me say that I'm "only" "mostly" virgin (which was nothing further than mutual masturbation late at night until early in the morning, on the sidewalk under a lamp post - with a girl, that was october last year) happened under severe influence of alcohol. I know of myself that I couldn't have done it if I was sober.

It worked though: my mind's not nagging me anymore about never having been even remotely intimate with anyone like it used to. Plus, I had fun. ^_^

I know this probably didn't help anything but just to let you know even men, the perpetually-looking-for-sex-like gender ( :rolleyes: ) can have the same "problem" as you (though like I said I don't see it as a problem anymore like I used to and I don't worry anymore).

Love, peace, freedom, paperclips and happiness,
Bart

By the way... Katwijk? Are you Dutch too?

[Drifter in the wind]

i am 18 and i am bi sexual and i am a total virgin. My first love was a wonderfully curvy beautiful woman and we made love nearly everynight we were together. I have been with men, but even though they were attractive and all, i wasn't interrested in doing anything other than possibly a kiss good night. I love women and it's ok that i'm a virgin.. that just means i wont have any kids anytime soon hahah. It's hard to accept at first, but soon you will realize where you really stand in this world.

[mynameiskc]

i wouldn't call you a virgin, i'd call you hymenally challenged. you've made love, hence you're not a virgin. nuthin wrong with that.

[Albatron]

I'm almost 22 and recently (6 months ago) figured out I'm bi. I've had sex with women but not with men (yet) Looking back on my life now, I realize that this part of me was always there, it just took me awhile to realize and admit it.

So I think a virgin could definietly know their orientation, but their prefrence, if any, might come after some experience.

[maurizio]

I just want to set something straight in this bisexual forum. After you get over 20 you are not just a virgin but actually you become a super virgin. That's more than 20 years of life without sex!!! Wake up! The next virginity titles are: after 25 mega virgin, after 30 super mega virgin, after 40 hyper virgin, after 50 turbo hyper virgin and after 60 god himself comes down to earth and smacks you in the face and takes your gender away so you become an eternal virgin (highest rank of all).
btw nice pic maryjane lol

[cricketlind]

virginity is not just having a hymen. It means never having gone "all-the-way" with another person. So, if you have had a full sexual encounter with a person of the same sex then you are NOT a virgin. If you have had a full sexual encounter with a person of the opposite sex then your are NOT a virgin. I discovered very early on that I liked girls and that seeing a woman nude or semi-nude was very hot and exciting. Seeing a dude in the same state was interesting and not as exciting. Though not repulsive. This was when I was in grade-school. When I got to junior high I liked a boy or two but they really did not notice me. Then I went out with a dude in High school and lost my hymen. Still had never been with a girl. Ended up getting married and having kids and my bisexuality was there but buried. Then when we were split up and I was on my own (no custody for a while) I had my first female encounter. WOW!!! I also had my first encounter with a male that I actually fully enjoyed and participated in fully. Double WOW!! So, waiting for the right person be it a male or a female is well worth the wait. Virgins A-don't get pregnant....B-don't catch STD's.....C-don't get bad reps....D-don't share an intimate parts of their bodies and psyche and then get dumped. And lastly don't suffer through bad sex. Virginity is OK! But good sex with a caring partner is definitely a WOW experience. Don't sell yourself short by being in a hurry to lose that hymen. Been there and wish I hadn't been.

Peace, Cricket

[heywood floyd]

Virginity really isn't such a big thing.

When you have sex for the first time it's not even like you're really having sex, it's all just discovery, which is always very exciting-- like 'oh, that smells funny, but there's something about it I definitely like', and 'hmmm... I really didn't think it would feel quite like that'... and even 'well, that's disappointing, in my head it was always a lot, well...', so you get the point.

I think the best way to possibly lose your virginity is with another virgin (as long as they're really nice and fun!) and then kind of talking about it as it happens and just relax. You might think it sounds really silly, but it can really take a lot of unnecessary fear out of sex. But it's always kind of like that anyway because men and women are all very different and all have their own pluses and negatives, physically.

I don't think you can really understand sex until you've had it several times with someone else who knows what they're doing and isn't afraid to try stuff.... there are people who go their whole lives pretending that sex is fun when it's really quite boring for them because they don't want to try new things, but they think they need it so they just keep doing it.

And the other topic, about knowing your sexual preference: it's easy to say 'yes there were always signs' after the fact, but really, you don't know until you try! I thought I was a raging homo for a very long time, but since discovered something very interesting about myself, and that is I love women-- I love talking to women, I love spending time with women and I love having sex with women.

Sometimes people don't love men and really love women, but they love having sex with men. I don't really know how anyone could love men, but I suppose there are some people out there who do... and maybe they have sex with women! Who knows??

But I really think that sex and love are totally different, and it sucks when they don't come together, but sometimes they do.

[susanxu619]

I'm 17, and I'm absolutely a virgin. I've never even kissed anyone.
I'm not embarrassed, I mean I would rather have a hot and unforgettable sex session when I'm older than having a bad and regretful sex session right now.
So just be yourself and do it when you're ready and feel like the person is right for you.

[maurizio]

I'm 17, and I'm absolutely a virgin. I've never even kissed anyone.
I'm not embarrassed, I mean I would rather have a hot and unforgettable sex session when I'm older than having a bad and regretful sex session right now.
So just be yourself and do it when you're ready and feel like the person is right for you. http://www.tag-board.com/smilies/nono.gif

[cathyjulee]

Maybe you can try the site BiLoves, which is a site for bisexuals and bicurious looking to explore their sexuality. There are many bisexuals and bicurious.