femnmyztiq
10-28-2004, 11:32 PM
About 5 years ago, I discovered K and really enjoyed its effects. It's a drug that has a lot to teach you, and the insights it offers are truly life-changing. I'm not at all against its use, but it does involve a particular kind of danger for some users that should be taken into account when one is considering trying it.
I had untreated depression all my life which was really starting to snowball at that time. My first ventures into K were actually very helpful and offered an understanding of the world that eased some of my confusion. Unfortunately, as I did K more and more often (though in small doses), the overall effect became a bit disorienting. Mostly, I was just spending WAY too much time in an altered state while my psychological stability was already vulnerable. I was headed for a major breakdown (had been for years), and I knew it. One night I decided to do a large amount of K to induce the full mind-expansion experience I had heard so much about. I was looking for answers, looking for help, looking for a life-changing experience. Unfortunately, I found it.
During the journey of that understanding, everything suddenly made sense to me because the conclusion I came to was that the difficulty and suffering I had always lived with was a clear sign from the universe that I had always ignored. I believed FULLY that the universe had made staying alive so difficult because I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO. I had been suicidal at other times in my life, but had always fought tooth and nail against it and had never made a real attempt. But suddenly, I "realized" that fighting against my suicidal urges was a mistake, a denial of the universe's plan for me. I felt free as I never had in my life, and fully at peace. I then partook of every substance in the house that would produce a lethal overdose (more K, Xanax, HUGE gulps of GHB, painkillers, etc.).
Luckily, before I lost consciousness, I felt my heart and lungs start to react, and my survival instinct kicked in. I desperately wanted to live, so I got help just in time. As it was, the paramedics nearly pronounced me dead before trying the defibrilator one more time, and I came back to life. I fully believe that I only survived because I wanted to.
This could have happened on other drugs, in other ways, but I think that for people who are depressive, K offers a special danger. Instead of agony, it can offer you a completely logical, spiritually satisfying, convincingly insightful trip that could break you psychologically. According to info I've found on other sites, my reaction to K was not unique. Apparently, trips on large doses of K can produce a number of fairly categorical responses, depending on your personality/beliefs/issues at hand. Some people see God/Jesus; some people encounter alien beings; some people attempt suicide, some of them successfully. All of these trip experiences can provide very useful insights and consciousness-expansion, just DON'T DO IT ALONE!!
I strongly urge anyone who has a history of depression or suicidal thoughts to take EXTREME care when using K, and to never EVER use a large enough amount of it to make you trip, unless you are with someone who can stop you from bringing harm to yourself.
Please, PLEASE be careful!
I had untreated depression all my life which was really starting to snowball at that time. My first ventures into K were actually very helpful and offered an understanding of the world that eased some of my confusion. Unfortunately, as I did K more and more often (though in small doses), the overall effect became a bit disorienting. Mostly, I was just spending WAY too much time in an altered state while my psychological stability was already vulnerable. I was headed for a major breakdown (had been for years), and I knew it. One night I decided to do a large amount of K to induce the full mind-expansion experience I had heard so much about. I was looking for answers, looking for help, looking for a life-changing experience. Unfortunately, I found it.
During the journey of that understanding, everything suddenly made sense to me because the conclusion I came to was that the difficulty and suffering I had always lived with was a clear sign from the universe that I had always ignored. I believed FULLY that the universe had made staying alive so difficult because I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO. I had been suicidal at other times in my life, but had always fought tooth and nail against it and had never made a real attempt. But suddenly, I "realized" that fighting against my suicidal urges was a mistake, a denial of the universe's plan for me. I felt free as I never had in my life, and fully at peace. I then partook of every substance in the house that would produce a lethal overdose (more K, Xanax, HUGE gulps of GHB, painkillers, etc.).
Luckily, before I lost consciousness, I felt my heart and lungs start to react, and my survival instinct kicked in. I desperately wanted to live, so I got help just in time. As it was, the paramedics nearly pronounced me dead before trying the defibrilator one more time, and I came back to life. I fully believe that I only survived because I wanted to.
This could have happened on other drugs, in other ways, but I think that for people who are depressive, K offers a special danger. Instead of agony, it can offer you a completely logical, spiritually satisfying, convincingly insightful trip that could break you psychologically. According to info I've found on other sites, my reaction to K was not unique. Apparently, trips on large doses of K can produce a number of fairly categorical responses, depending on your personality/beliefs/issues at hand. Some people see God/Jesus; some people encounter alien beings; some people attempt suicide, some of them successfully. All of these trip experiences can provide very useful insights and consciousness-expansion, just DON'T DO IT ALONE!!
I strongly urge anyone who has a history of depression or suicidal thoughts to take EXTREME care when using K, and to never EVER use a large enough amount of it to make you trip, unless you are with someone who can stop you from bringing harm to yourself.
Please, PLEASE be careful!