What Do Ya Think?

[forest_pixie84]

Another path with binding rules,

and ever changing obstacles.

Treasureing a peacful state of mind,

with the upshot: Lingering in the jewels.

Contrary to constant the craving,

of objective fairly active will.

The hope's to keep the consintrating

distant outcome but for skill.

[kidder]

I like your efforts to work within the constraints of a set poetic form. It can be challenging. You lost me from the fourth line down- don't sacrifice your meaning to meet the needs of rhyme. U can do it!

[forest_pixie84]

Makes sense to me, its about this person I was doing a music prodject with, who I though to have questionable motives. The whole prodject slowly became centered around him. And that's not how it's supposed to be when your colaberating.